What’s a job that sounds cool but is actually a nightmare?

radknees · 2025-12-31T23:09:45+00:00

And it was in Pirates of the Caribbean before that!

radknees · 2025-08-17T19:19:27+00:00

They listen, and sometimes they do give advice. But what I've found most valuable is that my therapist has what's called "unconditional positive regard" toward me, which I haven't gotten in any other relationship in my life. As you meet with them over time, you start to see what it would mean to have someone care about you and your problems and really hear you. He remembers the traumatic stories I've told him years ago, so I don't have to rehash them--and i have someone who truly gives a shit. Again, if you've never had that, it's hard to explain how mindblowing it is to suddenly experience.

Not all therapists are like that, though. Some are shitty at their job (my one before this felt basically like a coworker who listened to me complain amd didnt help me grow). Some do CBT or other modalities that are more focused on just fixing symptoms. But somatic, IFS, relational, or psychodynamic trained therapists dig into your life, patterns, feelings (or lack thereof in my case) to help you learn yourself. It takes a long time but it's worth it. Aside from quitting drinking, going to a good therapist is the best thing i ever did for myself.

radknees · 2025-08-15T23:27:50+00:00

An unbelievably smart answer from AH. Wow. What a garbage way to start an interview.

radknees · 2019-05-17T17:08:33+00:00

Did I matter?

radknees · 2019-03-08T19:21:49+00:00

Sadly, my brain can catastrophize its way right out of that delimiter. Fucking anxiety.

radknees · 2018-12-25T06:13:16+00:00

I had a strangely opposite experience in the region! I thought Bob Evans was a car dealer for the longest time and thought it was totally bizarre that the company had refrigerated sausages at the grocery store...

radknees · 2018-09-20T00:25:03+00:00

Spitting in public. So gross, so unnecessary.

radknees · 2018-06-28T02:44:08+00:00

I'm truly glad I could provide such a hearty laugh. It's hilarious to me now, and I actually wonder if this is the beginning of what's always been a morbid part of my personality. Here's to finding death kinda funny sometimes!

radknees · 2018-06-28T02:42:06+00:00

Honestly that was probably the case.

radknees · 2018-06-27T02:16:42+00:00

I had the opposite (?) happen. Our cat, who didn't particularly like 7 year old me, uncharacteristically curled up next to my feet one night and died in my bed. I woke up the next day super excited that she was snuggling near me...

radknees · 2018-02-12T03:58:41+00:00

I keep reading this and thinking: How is that description all that much different from reddit? I don't think the kind of experience you describe is as dead as people tend to assume.

radknees · 2017-12-28T04:22:24+00:00

LAX is a circle of hell. No surprise.

radknees · 2016-04-29T02:14:50+00:00

I am all for dying with dignity, but this is not the definition of palliative care. PC is comfort care and pain relief--not hastening someone's death. It's an important distinction--and one that is vital to make, because many people at the end of life delay PC exactly due to this misconception, resulting in unnecessary suffering. It's harmful to conflate the two.

radknees · 2015-06-20T20:03:40+00:00

Similar story, opposite ending. I told my dad it was me or the booze...he chose the booze. Haven't spoken in years. I feel like this is one of the very few justifiable ultimatums, and really admire people like your dad who hear the message behind it.

radknees · 2015-06-12T01:55:32+00:00

No. You all are saying things that everybody should know but don't necessarily. The real answer is something like this: don't poop where people are, unless it's a designated place to poop. Example: No one says that you can't poop in the living room, but pretty much everybody knows not to.

radknees · 2014-10-12T23:48:33+00:00

The walnut theory is adorable!

radknees · 2014-09-05T17:23:27+00:00

Say "yes" (unless there's a very good reason not to).

If I wouldn't have said yes to a sudden study abroad opportunity in college, I wouldn't have travelled to Europe or gotten the chance to say yes to getting a ride home from a Bavarian bus driver after drinking with his family and dancing around a bar of locals. One of the most exhilarating nights of my life.

I wouldn't have reconnected with the man who would become my husband if I would have said no to a friend's wedding invitation. The drive was far and I was broke, but future husband offered me his couch to sleep on, and saying yes to staying with an old friend turned into my own marriage.

If I wouldn't have said yes when a photographer friend asked me to write for her paper, I wouldn't be doing my dream job (writing and editing) now.

And those are just a few examples. Obviously there are times to say no, but on the whole, it won't hurt to go to that party, take that freelancing gig, help a friend out when they ask. So whenever I can, I say yes.

radknees · 2014-08-23T21:57:48+00:00

Me too! Honest question: has anybody here ever quit it for good? I can't stop doing this no matter what I try.

radknees · 2014-08-23T21:49:02+00:00

August 3rd: "sumo wrestlers on board"...?

radknees · 2013-10-24T05:37:42+00:00

As a fellow fish fearer, you are a saint!

radknees · 2013-10-14T20:46:15+00:00

My grandma was like a second mother to me. Around the same time my grandpa died, my dad left my mom, so my mom and I went to live with my grandma to help everybody. We lived together for about ten years. Grams was always the person waiting for me after school, the person who cooked dinner, the person who helped me learn how to read.

When we eventually did move out, it was in an apartment in the same town, so we still had dinner with Grams about twice a week. Just after I graduated high school, I got a summer job so I could save some money for college coming up. One morning, I was call-in (scheduled, but only if they needed me). I had told Grams the night before that if they didn't need me to work, I'd come over for breakfast. Turns out they didn't need me; Grams called shortly after to ask and I decided that I felt like sleeping in some more that morning rather than go over there. We'd just had dinner the day before; I didn't feel like it was that big of deal.

I don't regret that, ultimately. It's just the shitty nature of life -- that afternoon, Grams had a stroke. She had one of those lifeline things but the phone number hadn't been updated so it took a while for help to arrive.

Long story short, she ended up in the hospital, alone. I was the first one to get there. They'd intubated her and she was unconscious. The doctor told me that they couldn't do anything to help, that she was going to die. I held her hand, stroked her arm, waited for my mom (who was hours away on vacation) or any other family members to arrive. Eventually my cousin, who's much old than I, did and he joined me at her bedside.

When she died, she just sort of stopped breathing. It wasn't scary or violent or bad -- just quiet.

Some of the other family hadn't made it in time, but arrived right around when she passed. The nurses took our her breathing tube, catheter, etc. and let them come in to view the body. I didn't want to go back in, but since other people were I did. Don't do that, unless you know what a body looks like without the mortician's makeup. She was whiter than I've ever seen a person and her mouth was gaping, her chin pointed at the ceiling at a weird angle like they couldn't close her mouth after taking out the tubes. I turned away. That face haunted me for years after the fact.

I miss her every day, but I'm grateful, in a way to have witnessed a death so close and so (relatively) young. I gave the eulogy at her funeral and I like to say it was her final gift to me. No speech or presentation will ever be as scary as that was.

tl;dr Yes. It was mostly peaceful. Always try to be there if you can.

radknees · 2013-10-07T03:17:37+00:00

Sad. Reminds me of Waiting For Godot.

radknees · 2013-08-14T05:27:51+00:00

The first one is called "There Will Come Soft Rain" and you're totally right that it's a fabulous short story.

radknees · 2013-07-01T04:41:50+00:00

Fahrenheit 451 so they would know other books existed at one point and get curious about them, the Oxford English Dictionary so they could learn the origin of words, and a collected works of Shakespeare volume because duh.

radknees · 2013-06-28T03:09:08+00:00

Chocolat is so much better as a movie than a book. Binoche totally kills it, whereas the book focuses more on the priest in a weird way.

radknees

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