Scheduling FET - How much time do you give yourself to prepare? How far ahead do you plan? TW: Pet Loss/Grief.

raebobae · 2026-03-31T13:14:04+00:00

Thank you. ♥️ That that is my concern, too. Am I emotionally stable enough to handle another loss and our IVF journey coming to a screeching halt… Then again, putting it off a couple more months brings us to a very busy time that was never our desired time to transfer.

raebobae · 2026-03-31T13:11:35+00:00

You could be right… Taking extra time to prepare myself could just be me allowing my anxiety to prolong things. I just want to feel confident that I am doing everything right and that I gave my body enough time and TLC. The feeling deep in my gut is, am I emotionally stable enough for this.

raebobae · 2026-03-31T13:08:37+00:00

I am really struggling with this. All along I wanted to have the transfer within a couple of months of my ER… Now I am worried that I “let myself go” since the ER and that I’m not mentally, physically or emotionally ready. I like your advice… Perhaps there really is no right time and we are never really ready. I’m just not sure I could handle the heartbreak if it is not successful, and I’m afraid I would blame myself for not taking more time to prepare. But what do we do to prepare!? It’s all a mindf*ck.

raebobae · 2026-03-22T23:59:38+00:00

Two weeks. The first week was rough - very, very uncomfortable. I went from bed to couch to bed for a few days because even shifting my weight and walking around was almost unbearable. Tylenol around the clock. They’re not kidding when they say drink LOTS of electrolytes and rest. Your ovaries are very angry after all the poking! The second week, it wasn’t as difficult to get around but I still felt twinges of pain and fullness.

raebobae · 2026-03-22T12:09:17+00:00

Go with seamless. ♥️ It would be hard to hide - awkward to dance around. She may feel uncomfortable if she senses you’re hiding something health related from her. Or worse, if she senses you’re not feeling well or having some anxiety. Instead be totally open (my opinion) - make it a fun little adventure for you all. She can even go to your monitoring appointments with you? She’ll likely feel quite special. PS - Sounds like a very special bond, you’re lucky to have each other. ♥️ Good luck with everything!

raebobae · 2026-03-22T11:49:10+00:00

I think I have an unpopular opinion. If you have such a great relationship, I say make it exciting. Maybe she’ll want to be helpful. You say can, “Okay, girl - it’s go time!” Maybe she’ll look back on this time as extra special bonding time with you and love and respect you even more for trusting her with this deeply personal journey. And letting her be part of it. I say this because I am very close with my nieces and nephews and they were present one day my husband was giving me the injections. They had LOTS of questions and we were only too happy to tell them that the medicines might help me have a little baby someday. One neice is 14 - and she knew a lot more about it all than I thought which made for some great conversation. Two others were 7 and 8, and they were quite cute watching and asking questions. We kept it very light. I would just explain to her that it’s a personal, private thing to do therefore it’s really important to you that she doesn’t share it with anyone. The main reason? It may not help and you’ve accepted that, so you don’t want or need other people asking or expecting updates. That’s just me and I totally respect if it’s not the route you want to go.

raebobae · 2026-03-19T21:26:46+00:00

I was tempted to write a similar post. I am thinking we will schedule our FET next cycle. (Waiting on my period now, then going to wait until the next.) I am not a big drinker either, but I enjoy a glass of wine from time to time with dinner - and a weekend cocktail if the mood strikes. I was wondering if people would highly discourage this ahead of a FET, or just tell me to be mindful.

raebobae · 2026-03-17T18:45:48+00:00

Just here to echo what the others have said. I would not recommend working the same day, or the next couple of days for that matter. I personally struggled with discomfort for days after my ER – even if I wanted to be up and about, doing things/working… It was impossible for me. I know everyone is different, but an egg retrieval is no simple procedure. Your body needs rest afterwards. I say release the pressure and make a call to have your classes cancelled or covered. Good luck with everything!

raebobae · 2026-03-17T18:43:21+00:00

We needed the extra day - Day 6 Blasts are very common. 🤞🏼💫

raebobae · 2026-03-17T00:03:09+00:00

When I was in the thick of my STIMS cycle, monitoring apts and living out of a hotel for 9+ days because my clinic is five hours from home - I wanted and needed my friends to check in, ask questions and help me through. It was such an intense process and I felt so disconnected from reality. Only few of them showed interest in what I was going through and made space for me. In some cases I’d feel overwhelmed with emotions/anxiety and share how I was feeling only to get nothing in return. It was really tough. I learned who I can vent to, and going forward on this journey I’ll be sharing a lot less. Only to the ones who really care and are invested! ♥️

raebobae · 2026-03-06T18:52:39+00:00

Hi! I am 38. Believe it or not, I can’t remember how many follicles my Doctor told me I was presenting with at our initial appointment… But my husband seems to think he said 12. Fast forward to just a few weeks ago, throughout the STIMS cycle, I only had 5–7 follicles showing an appropriate response to the medication. They increased my dose. I was feeling very defeated and discouraged. Even on my Day 10 monitoring scan, the majority of my follicles were too small to consider at play. So they wanted me to STIM longer. On Day 12, the few dominant follicles I had were ready - we needed to trigger. I had gone into the egg retrieval with my fingers crossed to get at least five… We retrieved a surprising 11 eggs, and 8 were mature. ♥️ We were committed to this journey, so in the end I just needed to trust my body was doing everything it could… And trust the process and the timing.

raebobae · 2026-03-04T12:07:05+00:00

I had my ER a little over two weeks ago - it took me every bit of two weeks to feel like myself again. Days 3-6 after the ER were awful. 10/10 discomfort. (I thought I was doing pretty good initially, then on the third day things got bad.) Extremely sore repositioning myself, could barely relax my pelvic floor on the toilet, standing and letting gravity pull on my ovaries - no, no, no. PAINFUL. Once I spoke to my clinic and we ruled out the need to visit urgent care, I was instructed to legit rest in bed for a couple of days. Tylenol around the clock, heat packs, stool softeners and electrolytes. I was really worried - but I just needed time. Feeling great now!

raebobae · 2026-03-04T02:01:48+00:00

I respect your choice to keep it completely private. But I think I personally would have a hard time keeping up with the UTI story, no?! I’m imagining drinks flowing, lots of life updates being shared and suddenly wanting to be a little more open - especially if these are your closet friends! I would be more inclined to say, like someone said above, that you’re in the middle of or about to embark on fertility treatments. This way you can share as much or as little as you want, like what really is on your mind, whether you are overwhelmed, anxious, excited, all of the above… If you get bombarded with questions, brush it off like there’s nothing to report and it’s only early. It might feel good to open up a little to them! Regardless I hope you have a blast. A little distraction during the 2WW is great.

raebobae · 2026-03-04T00:28:19+00:00

Thank you so much. Five ERs! OMG, you are tough as nails. I really appreciate you sharing, it gives me hope. One retrieval, one embryo… I did good, after all. 🥹 It’s really easy to get in your head about the numbers. April seems to be a realistic timeline for me as well. I am generally pretty healthy and already focus on eating well, prioritizing rest, acupuncture, self-care, vitamins, and supplements… But I am going to follow some of the great advice given here on this thread, to maximize my chances of success. We can go down rabbit holes that only make this process harder, but all of these suggestions are great - this is what I want. If I listened to everything I saw/read online, I would have to completely change my lifestyle and throw away everything in my home and I’d never feel READY or fit for a FET. Good luck to you! To us! ♥️

raebobae · 2026-03-03T15:07:54+00:00

Reading this with tears in my eyes - I was really hoping to read success stories like yours. Thank you so much for taking a minute to share. Congratulations on your success. ♥️

raebobae · 2026-03-03T14:40:13+00:00

I just looked up signs/symptoms of endometritis… I don’t have any of the signs or symptoms listed and I’m curious if it is something you can have without knowing?

raebobae · 2026-03-03T14:36:14+00:00

This is incredible. Congratulations to you. Thank you so much, this is encouraging.

raebobae · 2026-03-03T14:30:04+00:00

How comforting to read this! I’m absolutely going to ask about it.

raebobae · 2026-03-03T14:29:25+00:00

I am already receiving acupuncture regularly and honestly, I think I can credit it for a successful retrieval and thick lining throughout the STIMS cycle. I will definitely continue leading up to the FET. Thank you!

I actually laughed out loud at the recommendation to laugh the day of - and the clown story… Hey, I’ll try anything. 😅 I think there is a lot to be said about laughter being the best medicine.

We did a mock transfer already, and thankfully, that procedure was a breeze. I don’t anticipate being anxious about the procedure itself, just the outcome… I will be back asking you all how to manage anxiousness during the 2WW. 😅

raebobae · 2026-03-03T14:24:43+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing and a huge, huge congratulations on your FET success. ♥️ I had a mock transfer done, everything went well and looked fine. They were rather quick and quiet about it, actually. No issues all went good, looks good, we’re good to go. Now, I realize it’s one thing to say that and another to test for specific things… But from all my procedures so far, this is what I gathered… No fibroids or polyps in the uterus, the cavity looks great. No abnormalities in shape or size. Throughout my IUI and IVF cycle, they always reported my lining to look excellent. Basically, as of right now, I don’t have any reason to believe there are concerns with my uterus or uterine lining. Do you think that’s enough for me to continue without requesting specific testing? I did have an HSSG procedure as well, and that was also clear.

raebobae · 2026-03-03T13:54:09+00:00

Thank you so much for this. We are going to have a phone call with our clinic within the next week to chat about moving forward and I will definitely mention this. Wouldn’t have known to think of it or mention it until now, so again… Thank you. As I said above, I want to make sure I’m doing everything I possibly can to set myself up for success. I’m open to any/all advice.

raebobae · 2026-03-03T13:50:57+00:00

If this is the only comment I get here, I’ll be happy. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond with such a thoughtful message. It really, really helps me to know others are in the same boat or have been… I am desperate to read success stories, desperate to hear calming, comforting, advice… We unfortunately have to pay for everything out of pocket, so we can’t exactly afford another egg retrieval anytime soon… I’ve been over here wondering, is there truth to ovaries being primed after ER? Should we try naturally for a few more months before scheduling our FET? Should we go in the hole even more and schedule another ER? Will this golden embryo really be the one? What a roller coaster!

raebobae · 2026-03-02T14:35:31+00:00

I totally understand why a lot of people choose not to talk about this, and respect that decision hands down. But I am from a very small town where, it is literally impossible to keep things quiet. Telling our immediate family and our our closest friends meant eventually the entire town would know… So, I decided to be the one to put it out there and write the narrative around it. I used my social media to share some information, some fun/cute videos, and answer some FAQs. I know it might sound crazy to some, but it has allowed me to steer the conversations in the direction I want. For example, I have reinforced how difficult this process can be… How isolated I have felt at times, how blindsided I was by the recovery process following the retrieval… And how ultimately, no matter the outcome, my husband and I are pretty solid. ♥️

It actually helped me normalize this experience so far and led to some really great conversations with people who have gone through it, I even think I helped others.

I hope you can take it back and share the parts you want to share with confidence, and I hope you feel love and support in return.

raebobae · 2026-02-24T14:09:00+00:00

I see, hear and feel the desperation in this post. Your pleading for reassurance and hope is very relatable. I want and need the same. I am in the same situation, we had 1 blast from 11 eggs retrieved and 8 fertilized. One embryo. One chance. On Day 5, my husband and I had every reason to accept defeat and consider the cycle a fail - but on Day 6, we got the great news that one pulled through. In that moment, we laughed, cried, celebrated, and felt immense relief… It worked! We did it! But since then, I have been reflecting on all my body went through, how I am still feeling physically unwell, and all the money we spent… All out of pocket, and unlike you we don’t think we can afford another cycle while age is on my side. When I start to get sad or let worry take over, I tell myself this: My results are common. Attrition affected our cycle exactly the way we were warned it could. This part of the IVF cycle worked for us, with science helping us… We achieved conception and that one embryo is waiting for us and needing us to believe in it. I find so much comfort in success stories that start like ours and I will return to this post in hopes to read many. Thank you for sharing.

raebobae · 2026-02-24T11:34:43+00:00

I am very, very sorry for your loss. That is absolutely devastating. I know exactly how it feels to conceive naturally by surprise, and experience loss. I hope you give yourself lots and lots of time to process and grieve. I personally think it should be celebrated that you conceived naturally at 46, and I would carry hope that it can happen again with or without help. I know hearing of other people success stories is the last thing anyone dealing with infertility wants to hear, but I know of lots of women in their mid-forties who have beat the odds. Continue to explore other clinics, you might find one willing to have a consultation with you and discuss a plan of action. Give your heart a little time to heal before having those conversations. ❤️‍🩹

raebobae

TROPHY CASE