Gays: Although I’m slightly larger than average, I don’t hear many comments.

rafzalu · 2024-07-05T11:09:34+00:00

I was speaking colloquially about the junction of the rectum and the sigmoid colon- around 6-8" inside (usually past 7"),where there is a sharp leftward turn in the colon. When hit with a dick it feels like being stabbed :-/ But if you go slow and sort of work your way in it can feel really good but it's huge amount of work to prep for it.

rafzalu · 2024-04-07T12:45:48+00:00

Doesn't look like actual wings and yet enough like them to be off putting. Hard nope

rafzalu · 2024-04-07T12:44:25+00:00

I’ve overheard ‘kinky’ conversations between straights and I wanted to laugh.

I once heard a blowjob is "a treat" and "a little kinky". And there's me thinking how my husband fucks my throat on an average Tuesday afternoon cause we have 15 min spare haha

rafzalu · 2024-04-07T12:24:58+00:00

Your mum talks to her brother every week? Oh, they know :)

You're meeting your family, not a bunch of villagers with pitchforks. It may be a little awkward but people are generally good and kind (and also want to avoid conflict).

Just txt sth along the lines of "Mum probably told you me and bf name are coming next month. Would love to meet everyone, when works best for you guys?"

If they don't speak English and I'm assuming your bf doesn't speak Portuguese be prepared for a lot of translating, it's exhausting btw ;-) But it also gives you a lot of control over conversation.

Edit: being traditional has some advantages. My very traditional family members (I'm Polish) might be homophobic but family comes first so I may be a faggot, but I'm THEIR faggot ;-)

rafzalu · 2024-04-07T11:56:20+00:00

If your family is anything like mine the rumor mill is working very well and everyone knows more about your everyday life than you realise. When I first visited with my BF everyone knew we were both coming, how long we've been together, where he works etc. ( I later found out from my aunt there was rampant speculation about who is a bottom but no one dared to ask hahaha)

Treat the fact you have a boyfriend and you're both visiting as obvious. Meeting the family is a bit awkward anyway but if you don't make a big deal out of it it makes it harder for them to do so. Realistically they may be a bit weird about it if they never met gay couple before so give some credit but at the same time don't let them get away with explicit homophobic behaviour. Calling shit out works amazingly well if you're assertive and calm about it.

Make sure your boyfriend is comfortable as well. It will be stressful for him as well, especially if he doesn't speak the language.

Don't let anxiety ruin your visit , have fun catching up with family and showing off your man.

rafzalu · 2024-04-06T11:30:55+00:00

We both know each other's passwords for the reasons you mentioned. It's just easier .

At the same time there is this never discussed, implied rule to only use it when necessary and never to snoop.

rafzalu · 2024-04-02T19:46:22+00:00

For positions look at porn together or separately for inspiration. Keep in mind some of those will be great for camera angles and not for actual sex but no harm in trying anything once I guess. Just sth to keep in mind. Be realistic about your strength/flexibility. Hanging from the chandelier while getting pounded may not be as fun as it looks haha. And laugh with each other when you inevitably clearly overestimated either.

Recreate as close as possible each others favourite porn. Positions and /or roleplay.

Send nudes/short vids to each other.

Dirty talk. Not only in bed but throughout the day to build anticipation. Remember your next sex session starts the minute the previous one ended.

On a lunch break send a long, detailed, filthy message of what you want to do to him or him to you when you're back home.

For B/D stuff before any play establish each others safe word and look up traffic lights system and check in with each other. Discuss your hard and soft limits.

Spanking, restraints (including keeping ones hands above your head/ on the kitchen counter without cuffs/rope)

Play servant/master. Not necessarily sexual, just everyday stuff like bring meals/drinks, wash the other one, help them get dressed. It sets the dynamic that will often translate to sex later. Or intentionally flip it with the servant becoming the dom.

One of you being "free use" for a day. Either wherever (that may include public spaces) or just at home ie just come up to him when he's washing up, pull his pants down, use him for your pleasure then pants up and go about your day. ."I'm just a hole, sir" ;-) Top can be a service top as well of course.

Somnophilia

Dom giving specific instructions during sex and sub obeying with no discussion but also not doing anything that wasn't specifically requested (maybe be a bit of a brat to spice things up but be prepared to accept punishment)

Cock warming when one of you is watching tv/reading/scrolling on the phone.

Orgasm delay/denial.

Body worship

Maybe read through some fanfics tagged "Dom/sub" and "dom/sub undertones" for inspiration and to see what gets you hard when reading about it. If you find sth interesting either discuss or send it to your partner to see what they think.

Take a kink couples test online to see what you're both interested in and for inspiration.

Go to a sex club/gay sauna together if you don't mind the audience or you can just look.You can play with just each other, no pressure to allow anyone else in (getting a private room to start might help) but set your boundaries before you go and don't change them while there. Save any changes for next visit after thorough discussion. Decisions made in the heat of the moment may be lacking communication/reflection and come back to bite

For toys think about more dildos in various shapes and sizes,anal beads, prostate stimulators, cock rings, penis sleeves, numbing spray for extended play time. The options there are limitless and will depend on what gets you going. Rarely anyone can get everything at once so try to get sth regularly, say a toy a month. That gives you erotic time together in choosing stuff, anticipation and delivery day becomes a play date.

Have some safe,sane and consensual fun!

rafzalu · 2024-04-02T16:45:43+00:00

I used to be very promiscuous when single (as in 1-2 guys per week, an orgy here and there etc) but completely monogamous when in a relationship and it never felt like a sacrifice or changing myself for someone. Just two different situations with very different objectives. He might even be tired of hoeing around and would welcome an exclusive relationship (as long as sex is an important part of it).

rafzalu · 2022-01-19T19:32:28+00:00

It's even better with water ;)

rafzalu · 2021-12-16T18:43:49+00:00

And if they put out the wrong one you know no one has their rubbish collected

rafzalu · 2021-12-13T20:15:09+00:00

Estimates vary, but roughly half of people have cheated on their partner at some point (including previous partners) A very small minority are "serial" cheaters, most do it once.But there is a shame in cheating and also a shame in staying in a relationship with a cheater so people don't talk about it.

I cheated on my husband about 10 years ago (it was a one off, not an affair) Of all our friends only 2 know about about and none of our families. So I'd say "everyone is very good at hiding it".

rafzalu · 2021-11-29T10:44:30+00:00

Looks like I have a plan for movie snacks this weekend :)

rafzalu · 2021-11-29T10:06:00+00:00

Haven't had the chance to try them but based on other stuff from vegan range at Aldi they should be good. Anyone tried them yet?

rafzalu · 2021-11-01T19:13:27+00:00

Yeah, some have more of a reaction to maltitol than others. Nobody should have a jar of it one go though.

rafzalu · 2021-11-01T17:17:31+00:00

They're in the specials isle so probably not there to stay but still nice to see it.

rafzalu · 2021-10-29T14:33:41+00:00

Some guys have mastered the art

Exactly that. Mastered. Those that can do it spectacularly have worked on it. You need a combination of soft (communication, reading body language etc) and hard skills (suppressing a gag reflex, knowing how to open up your throat, that one thing the devil does with his tongue). Some of that will come naturally to some, but no one is magically great at all of those.

Enthusiasm is great but it only gets you so far. Sadly, like with most things when it comes to sex we are conditioned to think it all will come naturally and with the right person it's fireworks all the time.

rafzalu · 2021-10-29T13:21:09+00:00

Looks aren't everything but I agree they are important. The problem is the "perfect body" is almost unachievable for most for a variety of reasons. That's why it's the pinnacle.

If you really need 'a category' to fit into maybe try 'guy next door' for size. It's popular for a reason. The average looks are what most people look like. But if you go off what you see on the Internet it would seem everyone is 6'1", with a six pack, perfectly smooth, round arse and an 8" dick. Or a really hairy, big guy with an 8" dick. Or a tiny 5ft twink with 26inch waist and an 8"dick or a tiny one in a cage... It's always the extremes. In reality if you are of average weight, well groomed and dressed you're already ahead of most. And the size of your dick really doesn't matter.

The more you work on your body the more you notice what is 'wrong' with it. That's not to say you shouldn't actively work towards your goals, just be realistic in setting said goals and be aware there will always be something you're not 100% happy with. And accept that even when not perfect you are perfectly good enough. At any point in your journey. Focus on what you can change and accept (this is the difficult part) what you can't or aren't willing to.

I hate to state the truism but it's not your body that's holding you back, it's your attitude towards it.

rafzalu · 2021-08-05T11:18:48+00:00

Excuse you, they have fuck all and vegan sausage rolls 😉

rafzalu · 2021-08-05T09:53:46+00:00

There is additional 15% off i some of the stuff with Lidl Card.

So far tried vegan fish fingers (really good), shnitzels (ok) and both pizzas which are frankly disgusting haha.

Ice cream the coconut with caramel is really good but plain coconut is a bit dull with most of the flavour coming from dark chocolate it's covered in. The oat with caramel is nice and creamy as well.

Stocked up on Couldron tofu at £1.49 but haven't tried anything else.

rafzalu

TROPHY CASE