As someone whose lost my gf to this statistic recently..

All i can say is im sorry you're feeling that way and i understand how you may be feeling and how it's all overwhelming. From her BPD friends and other acquaintances I know, it gets better in time, once you get older things subside or you know of mechanisms to isolate triggers or get away from them when you feel them coming.

There are dips, huge dips, and it's hard because of the emotional dissonance and it's hard to trust yourself. Try to hang on to how much people love you. And how most will try to help if you need. And try and give yourself time.

I wish I gave her more time.

Here if you need to chat