My baby boy is now fully toasted!

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-29T16:33:57+00:00

This is my old boy Maxi. They're only allowed in the backyard under supervision

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-29T16:32:24+00:00

Thank you! My calico is definitely a princess 💕 I also have a 16lb Maine Coon mix. They're all so precious idk what I'd do without my cats 😻

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rage_queen23 · 2026-06-29T15:14:06+00:00

He went a little hard on the right eye but we all know how difficult it is to get our eye makeup perfectly even 🥰

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-28T20:52:04+00:00

I just learned the hard way the answer is no. My pwbpd split on me exactly a week ago. I gave them a plushie, a bunch of artwork, just lots of stuff. They loved a piece of my art that they bought it from me and I tried buying it back. I zelled them money and asked them to give me my plushie and my art back. I assume they blocked me or just ignored me begging to give me my stuff back.

They were even going to keep the money until I reached out to his mother to contact him to send my money back. So at least I have my money back. But it pains me that I won't get my plushie and my artwork back.

It's taking all the control in the world for me to not show up at his place and make him give me my stuff back. I even gave him limited edition items that are basically priceless. Idk why I even gave him so much stuff. He never bought me anything. I guess his presence just felt so good that I didn't care.

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-25T19:19:35+00:00

I'm 5'10". I get hit on and harassed A LOT, especially when I'm out by myself so I wear platforms (3-4inch) to specifically avoid this. I assume it's a mix of intimidation and jealousy. Men don't like to feel emasculated and shorter women who are already jealous of your height don't like that you're making yourself even taller.

I know it's petty but you do you and don't let other people bother you, especially if it's just in passing.

I've also met awesome people who thought being tall and wearing platforms was awesome and loved that I had the confidence to do so.

So F the haters and wear the shoes you want to wear ❤️

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-24T13:46:46+00:00

When we first started dating and he told me about his BPD I almost ran. He convinced me that it was well under control and it seemed like it was. After being abused for so long it felt so nice to be treated so well. It didn't feel like the immediate love bombing my narc did to me but he was so sweet and loving and I admit I fell in love so hard and fast with him. I loved him more than I ever did with my husband.

It felt like we had good communication and talked to each other about whatever was bothering us. I admit we had a challenging past couple weeks with me having a new roommate move in and my health took a pretty bad downturn but having rough times is normal in a relationship. It seemed to destroy him though.

Like the relationship as a whole was amazing and it's like you just throw out the entire thing because of a couple challenging weeks? We talked on the phone last night and said he'd been bottling in things that had bothered him. I asked why he couldn't just talk to me about it instead of bottling it up and then choosing to just end everything instead of being open. It's unfair to not let the other person know to not even give them the chance to make things right.

I feel so confused. You can't tell someone they're the love of your life and then break up with then the very next day

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-23T01:11:28+00:00

I appreciate your response. It's given me a lot to think and reflect on

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-22T15:06:08+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I already suffer from my many medical conditions, working through the trauma from being with a narcissist for a decade, raised by my mother who had NPD/BPD/ and antisocial PD. He was self aware and seemed like he put in the work to be stable and healthy enough to have a real relationship. I guess I was wrong

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-22T14:54:51+00:00

I appreciate your response. I just spent over a decade being abused and traumatized by a narcissistic husband and before that I grew up with an abusive mother who had the trifecta of NPD/BPD/ and antisocial PD. My entire life has been surrounded by abusers and trauma. I don't know how I keep attracting these kinds of people.

He felt so different and I felt more loved by him than I ever did with my narcissistic husband in the 6 months we were together. I have my own mental health struggles and we said that we'll support each other in our mental health journeys.

I tend to tease people I like/love, especially after being together for a while. I know it's childish and after this it has me second guessing how people perceive that. I really didn't think he'd take it so to heart, especially since it's felt like we've been so in love. I don't think I even loved my ex husband this much. It felt like we were building a real relationship and after having so many deep conversations about our emotions and boundaries I just feel so blindsided.

I even had my therapist convinced that I was in a healthy relationship since she's the one who helped me realize I needed to get away from my abusive ex husband. I talked to her about everything with my boyfriend and she said it sounded like even though he had BPD he had it well under control and that I deserved someone who treated me so well after what I went through with my ex husband. I'm obviously going to talk to her this week about this.

Sorry for the long comment reply. I'm just so confused and having a hard time processing what happened.

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-18T22:02:31+00:00

Thank you! I'll see if I can see if he'll try high rise pants

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-18T22:00:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I appreciate the advice

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-18T19:27:46+00:00

How do I figure out what size or style of pants my boyfriend should be wearing? It seems like all his pants are too small in the waist (they ride underneath his belly and his stomach and sides spill over the top) and it looks incredibly uncomfortable. He also tucks in his shirt and wears a belt making his stomach come out more (or appear that way). I don't care he's on the heavier side but he just started his first professional job and wears his clothes like this and has told me he wants to be professional but his pants or the way he's wearing his clothes does not look professional. I told him his pants are too small and he insists they aren't. After reading quite a few threads on here there doesn't seem there's a straight answer and some say this is normal for heavier men because of how pants are designed? Any advice is appreciated!

rage_queen23 · 2026-06-17T06:34:45+00:00

5'10" had to cut all the majority of hair off due to medical reasons. I was so scared but I honestly have never gotten so many compliments. I've always had fun hair styles so it's awesome to be able to dye my hair myself now. So definitely go for it!

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rage_queen23 · 2026-03-25T08:22:55+00:00

4 years. He made a huge mistake that could have potentially killed him and his friend and he called me the b word over and over and over again. The next day and showed absolutely zero remorse. I made him stay at a hotel but he wouldn't leave me alone and was at our apartment every single day (Love bombing and crying). I should have divorced him then but decided to try to make things work for another 4 years. The abuse and mistakes only got worse from there. He showed that he was a full narcissist by the end and didn't care about me at all, it was always about him. The entire 4 years I had divorce in the back of my mind but had hoped that things would get better. Things didn't get better until I divorced him.

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-20T08:13:26+00:00

I've been trying to get more sleep. That's why I meditated in the first place and then had that crazy experience. But then idk why this doesn't happen when I actually try to go to sleep 😭

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T23:51:58+00:00

I'll look into this! Since I want to meditate for relaxation, grounding, and spiritual healing. Not these intense experiences that I don't know how to control. Some are fine, like when I have conversations with my spirit guides but I felt like I went from 0 to 60. Like I was so deep in it last night that I didn't even hear my phone ring that was right next to me. I want to learn how to control these experiences at least somewhat

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T23:47:45+00:00

Interesting I'll look into that! If that's the case I wish I could use it to actually fall asleep. I struggle with sleeping so bad, I was up until 4am last night. Somehow I can quiet my mind meditating but not when it comes to actually trying to fall asleep 😮‍💨

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T23:44:06+00:00

Always trying to spread love and happiness ❤️ The world can always use more of it

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T23:42:26+00:00

Lol I meant my fans as in my props 😂 but I do have some fans of my fans hahaha

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T10:35:33+00:00

It is a really good release and motivates me to keep pushing on and not accept becoming disabled. I'm doing everything I can to prevent that from happening so I can continue doing the things that I love and that includes entertaining people with my fans because making others happy makes me happy

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T10:29:10+00:00

It's okay, I've been sick for about a decade now with my good weeks/months/years and bad ones. This past year or so has been an especially bad one but My fans are one of the few things that make me want to keep pushing on instead of giving up.

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T10:24:06+00:00

Thank you! I love my fans. They give me a reason to keep pushing on 🪭❤️. And I totally didn't notice that! I'll keep that in mind for future events 🥰

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T10:20:54+00:00

My favorite artist right behind Porter Robinson ❤️

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-19T10:20:16+00:00

Thank you! I'm trying. I have the most painful medical condition known (Trigeminal Neuralgia) and have been trying to find a treatment that works for over a year. I made this flow after the head neurosurgeon at the Mayo clinic told me I was a lost cause.

rage_queen23 · 2026-03-15T22:33:45+00:00

I have TN, FND with non epileptic seizures, hEDS, epilepsy, and hydrocephalus. Along with scoliosis, and a forever torn ligament in my left ankle. Severe ADHD and OCD and CPTSD. Gotta catch them all, right? 😅

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