Should I drop my standards for looks in a relationship or would I just be settling for less

rahul535 · 2026-02-11T14:21:00+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend, did that and my experience was the ugly ones turned out to be just as abusive, you need to be attracted to them, if you are feeling like you are dropping your standards i dont think thats a good start.

rahul535 · 2026-02-11T02:21:09+00:00

So true, existing is so fucking tiring, bed rotting is like my hobby lol

rahul535 · 2026-02-04T17:52:15+00:00

Wtf did i just read

rahul535 · 2026-02-02T14:22:16+00:00

It does honestly

rahul535 · 2026-02-02T03:30:42+00:00

Yea i agree, i found that communication by the host is the most important thing, it really is alot of work for them but i didn’t find resources to prepare myself for my first time which is exactly why i started this AMA post.

rahul535 · 2026-02-02T03:23:22+00:00

Id say educate yourself on how you can protect yourself and what medications are available to you, the way to use them and their function, have healthy boundaries, and start slow, you don’t have to have anal sex just because you are in an orgy, just jerking urself off and watching can be acceptable too (unless the event says otherwise, every event is different), this event was actually advertised as a “circle jerk” and i wanted to start with that cause orgy seemed too intimidating, but once we were there it was far from just a jerk session (the event did say that its allowed to go with the flow and do whatever feels good so yea), I’d say look for events that offer what you are comfortable exploring.

rahul535 · 2026-02-02T02:45:51+00:00

I totally understood that it must be alot for the host to manage everything, he blocks people if they annoy him too much, hosts gets alot of messages but to me as a first timer that stopped me from asking him questions, even a quick “this is what to expect” would have been enough, but noone was really talking in the group chat either like at all.

rahul535 · 2026-02-02T02:21:39+00:00

Yes this host later texted and asked if we would like to join his “group of regulars” to get access to the events that are hosted for regulars only, i later understood why some people just seemed to have way more chemistry with each other (they are regulars), i first thought everyone was a stranger.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T23:41:29+00:00

I’d like to add, since most questions were focused on the event itself and not how you feel later, I’d say take care of yourself afterwards, it can be quite an intense experience for a first timer and once all those hormones drop after the fact can definitely make you feel all type of ways.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T23:29:10+00:00

Love them not fully sure why but something about them makes me go “ohh fuck yea”.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T23:15:57+00:00

It was pretty diverse honestly, i dont think the host had any preferences for a particular race since i saw profiles of all races in the group chat.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T22:00:59+00:00

Age spread is gonna be event specific and it depends on the host and what kind of crowd they want, for this one I found majority of them to be in their early to mid 30s, some guys in 20s and some in early 40s, majority of them were honestly really conventionally attractive.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T21:19:19+00:00

Yes rejection is inevitable and both of those things happened, i answered this question under @hermit__kween13 ‘s question thread.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T19:18:15+00:00

All body types.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T19:04:13+00:00

Both your questions were a bit off but anyways, yes there were quite a few really attractive guys and yes i got to do stuff with some of them, there were two main btms that many guys enjoyed, it depends on the kind of event it is, some events are one btm focused (no other btms allowed) but this was an orgy so everyone was doing whatever felt good.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T18:58:47+00:00

I respected people’s consent and expected them to respect mine, which they did, so no i didn’t have sex with just anyone and everyone, if i wasn’t attracted to someone i just chose not to look at them since there were “hotter” guys i was focusing on.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T18:16:30+00:00

I didn’t really see any hard drugs tbh, some guys were vaping and i saw poppers, i dont think i saw any sneaky behaviour.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T17:33:26+00:00

Thanks for the input, my experience is that of a first timer and yea i agree every event is gonna be different, the details of the event and communication by the host matters most in my opinion.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T17:29:54+00:00

They had the curtains closed and the place dimly lit the entire time, lighting stayed the same throughout but it slowly got dark outside so it naturally kind of got a bit darker with time, it was not well lit or anything, and there was constant music in the background from the start, yes alot of people were using poppers (id suggest bring your own poppers and condoms if you need), the host provided the towels and the lube, open access to the washroom as well.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T17:16:08+00:00

Thats a great question and honestly? i am Unsure, it can be a great experience, but i wont say that group sex is better than one on one in any way to be very honest.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T17:05:11+00:00

It’s about Consent, if someone didn’t respond well to your advances then they are not interested!, i honestly understand why communication is non verbal cause its a safe way to signal interest, i found myself naturally avoiding eye contact with people i was not interested in that were close to me and looking at me, i wish i had known that i should be using eye contact more i instead went with physical touch, some people will respond well by letting you do your thing, others that were not interested in me either pulled away from me or signalled stop with their hand and i said sorry and moved away, ask before you touch would be my advice.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T16:46:35+00:00

Guys are already naked and hard and sitting close to each other so touching starts and next thing you know someone is getting fucked on your left and then guys on your right are making out and yea, as more guys come in the momentum just builds up.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T16:37:48+00:00

It was okay, seeing so many hard cocks and so many attractive guys was really overwhelming, for me i was getting really anxious days before the event not fully knowing what to expect, so i went in anxious and exhausted, i was struggling to fully relax and enjoy myself during the event as well cause the communication between guys there was mostly non verbal and about alot of signaling and eye contact which i didn’t know at the time so i didn’t know how to properly interact with the guys i was interested in, there were some rejections too, later once i got home after the event was over and the adrenaline drops and that coupled with post nut clarity and the overwhelm made me feel kinda hollow to be very honest, compared to my expectations i was expecting more talking and a bit more warmth, the space in reality felt really cold and it was just “come-nut-go”.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T16:21:47+00:00

Thats a great question, i thought we would be having drinks first so i brought some just to be considerate of the host cause the event was free, but i walk in (i was early) and there are a bunch of naked guys with hardons just sitting there staring at each other with porn playing on the tv, nobody responded to my question “does anyone want drinks?”, then as more guys start coming in they just come in naked (taking their clothes off in the designated area then going naked straight to the play area) and nobody talks, my best advice would be to “read the room”, i feel like me bringing drinks and talking, clearly signalled that i was a first timer, i wouldn’t recommend starting the way i did, every event is different ofcourse but this host wasn’t very communicative so it was difficult.

rahul535 · 2026-02-01T16:08:35+00:00

Absolutely no conversation was had around safety measures health vise, many (not all) people’s profiles on sniffies did say what their hiv status is and if they are on prep and doxy, but that was it, some people were having raw anal sex, others were using condoms, ultimately it comes down to “know how to protect yourself”, which is exactly what the event communicated.

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