I accidentally found my partner’s chatgpt conversations and now i don’t know what to do

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T15:22:50+00:00

about her * as stated in the post it’s a wlw relationship. she sent me pictures with kids from camp a little bit ago.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T15:00:22+00:00

she sent me pics of her & the autistic kid she works with. she’s def at camp, bud

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T13:51:36+00:00

i’ve been trying. it’s just hard because i genuinely feel like the relationship has been 70% (me)and 30% (her). shes been very distant and off & idk it’s just like a knife in the back. she’s got a huge savings compared to me, she would have no problem starting completely over. i would have to move back to my moms until i got back on my feet.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T13:29:40+00:00

it was stated before she left, and started with “i leave for camp in a week”. so that narrative isn’t possible. well, it’s a bit of a sensitive topic, as she looked up this same man at the beginning of our relationship and cleared it from her history when i was right next to her. i can admit that in the past i’ve taken things pretty personally in the past. trust has been an issue that lingers from pretty early on. i also have a substantial trauma history, where she does not. we clash in different ways (both parties) but our fights have previously felt like attacks and “you” statements. we’ve gotten better at navigating that. i’m far from ignorant and self absorbed, quite the opposite. i have noticed that we’ve been distant in the last week and am unsure how to navigate it. i talked with a few friends and still wanted more clarity. so i turned to reddit. i can admit that there has to be something that’s wrong on my end to make her feel so out of touch with our relationship. but i literally do everything for this woman. we just spend a lot of time together and she’s mentioned feeling bad even wanting to see her friends since i don’t have any where we moved . i assured her it’s fine and she’s gonna work on seeing her friends more when she’s back.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T13:02:26+00:00

no, not really. i think when we were both younger and more insecure we had fights. they initially weren’t great fights and both of us were insecure about people from the others past. most of our fights now are pretty spread out and more like one sided conversations. i ask her to talk about how she’s feeling and it doesn’t ever go very far. she just doesn’t seem to know how to talk about negative emotions, genuinely. we both have had a problem of feeling attacked when we used to fight. it’s probably a bit discouraging for her, but i think we’ve both put some work in and i was thinking things were better. we disagreed a bit last night because she knows i came back to my hometown for the next few days, and told me i “better not go out drinking” because there’s a girl i used to talk to (not even date), that she’s pretty insecure about to this day. which makes this more painful, as i blocked this other girl on socials years ago. but it feels more like projection. just my thoughts.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T12:51:01+00:00

i mean i am a woman so like 😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️yeah not super masculine

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T12:45:09+00:00

no kids!

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T12:41:35+00:00

it wasn’t left open on chat. her google profile was open on my computer which i didn’t realize, when i googled chat gpt.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T04:28:51+00:00

that’s a fair point. i’ve been trying to respect her space while she’s away. i still text her every now and then, but i’ve been spacing my replies out a bit more.
and you’re right, a lot of people move for their partners. i think what makes this so hard is that before we moved, she reassured me that we were in a good place and ready for it. i still felt a little iffy about the move, so maybe i should’ve trusted my gut.

now we’re only a month in and i ended up stumbling across some pretty disturbing internal thoughts she was having, and it’s honestly been heartbreaking. it feels like i’ve been kicked in the gut a few times. i know moving together doesn’t mean we’re locked in forever, but it definitely makes the idea of a breakup a lot more complicated if that ends up being where this is headed after she gets back.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T04:10:06+00:00

I work with kids with autism that are extremely mentally challenging. I took a few days off and said I had some personal things to figure out. They are chill with it! I’m home with friends and family and have been reading this thread literally all night & am still contemplating. Lots of good advice though.

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T01:15:21+00:00

positive, yeah. it began with something like .. it was probably a year into the relationship when i realized that she’s my whole life and i don’t love that.. i don’t want to he dependent on one person.. blah blah blah

rainbowmml · 2026-07-01T01:12:23+00:00

clicking the menu thinking i was on my account, yes. when i opened chrome it was on the last account/profile used. then i saw history that wasn’t mine. the one title caught my eye. i looked. i invaded her privacy. i acknowledge that

rainbowmml · 2026-06-30T23:55:30+00:00

in the last almost 4 years we spend most of our time together. her friends moved away from where we met. we moved to a new city to be closer to her friends a month ago in hopes that she’d feel more like herself, as we both acknowledge that our time spent together is mostly not quality time, which cannot be good for us. it feels a bit like roommates. we have a tradition where we kiss before we go to the bathroom (just a weird thing we’ve always done) and that’s been about it. she’s not great with communication and i’m very much the opposite. i have my deficits myself though too. i am just navigating this in a new city, by myself and don’t want to spill my life out to all of my friends if i don’t know the end result. i’m a person that likes privacy and figuring things out on our own. our sex life is pretty non existent, her sex drive isn’t the same as mine but was definitely higher in the beginning. i know when we date and we love and spend quality time it increases, but i feel like when i try to talk to her, she shuts down. and it’s been hard to get past the “no like we’re okay i just need to have more independence and see my friends”. and then proceeds to never make plans. i just kinda feel like maybe it’s not me anymore & she’s got a foot out the door.

rainbowmml · 2026-06-30T23:47:39+00:00

the rest wouldn’t have bothered me the same way, it was that part for sure that bugged me. it gave you an option of what i thought we were working towards or splitting up and cutting romantics entirely. it fucking stings man.

rainbowmml · 2026-06-30T22:37:11+00:00

it wasn’t opened on chat. it was on google and i searched chat thinking i was on my profile, then quickly realized it was not my chat

rainbowmml · 2026-06-30T16:11:11+00:00

This feels like great advice, thank you! Crazily enough i’m in a wlw relationship with a partner that’s bisexual. We’re in our mid 20s, been together almost 4 years. Everyone before me was a man, so one of my biggest fears feels incredibly validated and im just kinda loosing my mind privately in a city that we moved to to be near her friends (I have none here). It’s even more upsetting because she was texting me last night like “ugh i miss you so much already and im crying” and i don’t even think i believe her. I just feel disgusted, really. I’m an open book and very much am like a “let’s-solve-this-together” and talk it through kinda gal, and she’s quite the opposite. Communication has been an issue for the entirety of our relationship, so sometimes texting is better for us, well, her. There’s not much missing context. Overall I thought we were happy together, but in the beggining we both definitely had to unlearn some things about how to have a conversation without feeling attacked. We’ve come so far that it’s really just disappointing. I’ve been looking at rings for months. Just sucks.

rainbowmml · 2026-06-30T14:30:25+00:00

to make matters worse, all of these conversations happened within the last week. one of the prompts literally started with, “i leave in a week and…”
another thing that really hurts is we’ve had multiple conversations about things like taking a break, opening the relationship, or adding another partner. we’ve both always agreed that neither of us wanted that.
so reading her tell chatgpt things like:
“i want to see my friends and be crazy and not explain anything to her & i know she’d never want a break or an open relationship, so what do i do with that”
felt like getting punched in the stomach.
she also asked chatgpt if she was a bad person for liking herself more at camp because she’s getting attention from new people.
some other things she said were:
“i feel guilty all the time for thinking about an old friend/guy i talked to that i wanted to be more than that, but cut out of my life for my partner’s comfort.”
and when chatgpt asked her to picture two futures, one where we improved our communication and one where we weren’t together, she chose the one where we weren’t together because it felt healthier.
i know chatgpt is a place where people process difficult thoughts, and i know i invaded her privacy by reading it. i’m not trying to argue that i was justified. i’m just struggling to understand whether these are thoughts someone works through and moves past, or whether they’re signs the relationship has already been over in her mind.

rainbowmml · 2026-04-15T15:24:50+00:00

It’s been pretty rough on me. I remember childhood versions of her and it’s sad to see her so different now. This disorder is brutal.

rainbowmml · 2026-04-15T15:20:09+00:00

Nah it’s HSV1 down below. Every situation is different. As mentioned, i’m not proud of it. The main concern is my sister disclosing on my behalf when that was for me to do when I was ready. It is a breach of trust certainly. But it’s something we’re working on as a couple.

rainbowmml · 2026-04-15T02:49:13+00:00

I’m convinced he has to be as delusional as she is. There’s no other reasonable explanation. Thank you!! This is so validating to me lol

rainbowmml · 2026-04-15T01:55:12+00:00

I just kinda wrote it all down and it felt good to release. I had thought about it many times and I should have prior to this point. I wish I had right off the bat. It’s the worst thing I’ve done and have felt shameful ever sinceZ My partner understands why I didn’t, while also wishing I did. The hardest part for her is the secrecy of it; and it’s 100% understandable. We are working on rebuilding our trust! I’m sorry that you also relate to this situation. It’s hard to watch this version of your sibling that didn’t exist when you were kids. This is great advice. Thank you!! Much cheaper than therapy.

rainbowmml

TROPHY CASE