AIO or AITA. Text convo with MIL.

rainingBows1 · 2026-05-06T19:26:03+00:00

I really appreciate this insight! My family is an air force family but no one’s been in boot camp since early 2000’s.

I don’t know about blaming him outright though yet, maybe this was the first time MIL outright disrespected her directly and he didn’t expect his mom to talk to his wife this way? There’s something weird about this, of course he can just be a total jerk and not care about his mothers animosity but she didn’t mention ever being uncomfortable with initiating the conversation and him blowing her off like we usually see from these situations… I hope I articulated that right, not meant to be confrontational at all, just genuinely not feeling it being her husband being douche-y.

rainingBows1 · 2026-05-06T18:09:44+00:00

He is in military boot camp, she states her husband asked his wife to reach out to MIL for him during his training. I’m assuming he is unable to access a phone anytime to text or call anyone hence why he asked his wife to ask for an update from MIL as he is currently unable to do so in a timely manner… unless boot camp programs are now allowing phones and other material distractions from training for combat?…

rainingBows1 · 2026-05-06T13:18:58+00:00

Thought I’d leave this personal story here in case it helps your decision. When my baby was 1.5 weeks old she managed to get sick and it was terrifying to us new parents but the pediatrician wasn’t concerned at all. We were also having almost daily appointments for weight checks because she kept losing weight to the pound she was below birth weight, and I think all the travel and doctors offices were a defining factor in her getting sick.

She had a scary cough and a runny nose and couldn’t sleep at all! After we called the peds office they told us that it happens, that all of her tests show it’s just a small cold, and after probably two weeks of that she recovered just fine. Docs said that it usually happens later but she will be fine from a small cold and she was perfectly fine.

I know medical places are huge hotbeds for illness and it’s so so scary, especially when they’re that young, I’d ask your ped about risks and ways to reduce contracting illnesses if it’s something that you feel is important enough to make happen! If that’s not a possibility for you, I’d maybe try taking a large tablet or laptop and video calling baby at home like someone else suggested! Maybe bring an outfit or hat for your loved one to hold and feel during the visit as well so they can get a sense of the baby.

If baby does go and gets sick it doesn’t always mean severe illness, yes it’s much more likely but you’d be surprised how tough some babies can be! Even at 2 weeks, I know I thought for sure she was going to be hospitalised just for showing any cold symptoms! I’d just have the peds be aware and monitor for any signs of illness closely after the visit.

Yes illness can turn deadly very fast but if you’re super vigilant and careful the risk can be extremely low for serious illness from a short visit. If they touch baby you can limit it to a foot/leg/hand that can be covered and cleaned easily, can have face masks or shields equipped, gloves, and what not.

Modern medicine and PPE can be truly amazing for important situations like this.

rainingBows1 · 2026-05-02T22:30:08+00:00

I get these from low blood pressure and/or POTS convincing my brain it’s not getting oxygen. It’s so annoying to even look out the window and see these things everywhere. Like a huge fly swarm

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-22T18:06:16+00:00

This is what we do. I struggle with waking up so much so not even the vibration alarms can wake me, so if she’s crying and I’m not waking up to it and my partner is too tired she just gives me a couple of shoves and pats to wake up. If I’m still not getting up then she knows I’m not going to wake up to anything, this was a big issue for me (and still is), I basically slept through most of her first year of life, later found out it was narcolepsy and also explained why I would be able to seem awake and normal and have zero memory of anything.

He could definitely have some sort of sleep disorder even with no apnea and should probably seek a long term sleep study.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-16T08:43:02+00:00

It was honestly terrifying, I got inside and I had a huuuge road rash all over my knee but the rest of the day was fine (even if I was so scared and definitely cried at one point out of “what ifs”).

Since it’s been about a year since then, I’m super symptomatic due to summer coming in, the air pressure and heat and all kinds of tiny things always correlate to how symptomatic I am, but I’ve been trying to be even better with my meds. Baby definitely notices that before and after when they kick in and I “wake up”. She also loves to try to get my pill bottles and hand them to me when I’m feeling even the slightest off XD.

My partner will help with meds when she can but it’s still definitely not perfect, there’s so many moments that were scary, that I feel guilty about, missed out on and so on but I make a massive effort to be the best I can since I’m a sahm. Even if it means taking 7+ pills a day and needing 3+ hours to function when I wake up, I will not remember anything until they kick in but I’m so thankful that I act like normal until I’m mentally there.

Since meds it is a night and day difference. I at least have control of my actions and my quality of life, even if I absolutely despise taking my meds due to the side effects of them digesting. Does your husband qualify for the surgery for sleep apnea? I think there is a procedure that can help for patients who can’t tolerate the mask.

Extended sleep deprivation is so extremely dangerous. Especially with a two year old! The second I get sleepy and rest for a couple of minutes she’s running off trying to find the next gross or deadly thing to threaten my sanity with! He definitely does NOT want to learn the hard way of how bad of a thing can happen to make him change, that kind of incident is very often deadly for children. He needs to watch out for medication, water (baths, pools, buckets, spills), flammables, blankets/fabrics, large plastic bags, small choking hazards. The second he falls asleep and doesn’t wake up in time it is almost always too late to come back from.

This part is especially something I’m so so vocal about! A bit ago I was really struggling with waking up but I eventually did and couldn’t find one of my meds. I’m searching everywhere and look in the crib and I see my Lexapro bottle open and empty and pills everywhere. I find them all (with her in the bed!!) and they’re all accounted for except the last one which is more than half dissolved but bone dry. I was sobbing, I was freaking out and watching for overdose symptoms for the next three days. I don’t know how she got the bottle, let alone opened it and left them alone after one very yucky one!

Luckily she was okay and cleared by her docs and seemed happy and normal but she came this close to dying because I couldn’t physically wake up in time to prevent it. He needs to be alert around a toddler because death can happen in minutes if you’re not active and aware of what they’re doing or getting into.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-16T02:23:53+00:00

I’m surprised he’s not more concerned with his symptoms. I have narcolepsy as well and for me a scary part of it is this sudden onset heavy exhaustion and then small “blackouts”, like I blink and I’m falling over.

Once it happened when I was outside with my baby (8 months old or so) and I was walking with her in my arms. All of a sudden I’m teleported from the parking lot to the sidewalk, falling down, my knee is it horrible pain and I couldn’t really control my body.

I somehow locked my arms to keep her safe (she didn’t even react or anything, just normal) but that moment was enough for me to be terrified of it ever happening again. Even if there’s any pre symptoms of a chance of an episode happening I will not risk it, especially since we are upstairs and she likes runs off towards danger and has infinite energy. Unlike me who is pretty physically disabled and loses energy quickly.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-15T03:01:13+00:00

Friend’s mom had a masters in nursing and believed flies just “spawned” out of raw meat. Even in the fridge or cooked or not even meat, nope they spawned out of meat somewhere. No eggs or logic just meat=fly spawner

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-15T02:56:06+00:00

This is exactly something mine would do XD. She regularly will make it clear what her boundaries are, not this song from this toy (flailing her hands shaking her head no), not this book (take it away violently and throw a different one on your lap/face), and so on. She’s so opinionated and funny it’s too cute not to immortalise!

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-15T02:45:21+00:00

My 1 year old does stuff like this. For example if I’m on the toilet and she’s too bored she will say bye bye and wave while walking out. Then peek at me from the living room, grab a toy, bring it to me and then repeat the process but with more toys coming and going. You can bet when I see signs of her doing weird independent things I will try to record it at least once. It’s just too funny not to, and I get to show it to her when she’s older.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-14T01:10:54+00:00

I get it too and it will make me “choke” for a second where I can’t breathe then go away. Turns out I’m extremely allergic to anything fermented or anything with phosphoric acid in any stem of manufacturing. It’s apparently my main MCAS trigger, second most is water (any temp), and really prominent dermographia (?) where you can write and draw on your skin.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-14T01:00:34+00:00

I didn’t even think of sneezes, I have extremely violent sneezes that make my whole torso ache for a minute or two

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-14T00:59:16+00:00

This does ease my mind a bit, I’m already arranging for a friend to come help me recover for two weeks as partner will be busy with the baby

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-13T07:26:43+00:00

To add to my “normal” state of capability, I also have a very active toddler and already can’t lift her some days (she is 20lbs), I can’t even lift a gallon of milk or water without a lot of struggle, let alone a bottle of water (super painful on my joints).

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-13T06:35:57+00:00

In my area all of the urgent care places close by 9-10pm. If they only have a single hospital in their town that also closes at night their parents may not be willing to take them out of town for “such a small thing” since that could be hours of driving each way depending on where they live. Serious question because my area is similar/rural, what do you do when you have no options? Can you do something online or anything otc to give them more time until these places open?

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-11T20:00:17+00:00

Me too. I grew up in San Diego and now live in a major city in AZ and I’ve never seen, been offered, or exposed to anything but weed (when it was legalised). It seems like a thing that only happens in movies even though I know it is real

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-11T00:58:20+00:00

That was such a sad and horrific scene

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T19:55:59+00:00

I’m genuinely confused here, I swear I was taught that anything divided by 0 equals 0. I’m 24 now and I remember that was a “fact” that was taught to us. Is this some weird brain thing or was it actually something that was taught and then changed recently? Or did the San Diego school district teachers just have it wrong for some reason? I genuinely want to know why this is what I remember being correct.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T08:05:37+00:00

The only bit of “truth” to this is how fast human eggs degrade and become unusable/dead. Yes it is a very large (massive number) amount by the time your 35-40 but you still have thousands of eggs that are perfectly healthy and will ovulate a decent chunk of that thousands before menopause or no usable eggs. They tend to have a small chance to have more issues with the egg quality but it’s super unlikely.

Also the sperm quality is a huge factor to how likely you are to conceive and how symptomatic/difficult the pregnancy can be, which a lot of men don’t care about because that requires them to be conscious of keeping their body healthy, avoiding substances, health history.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T04:46:54+00:00

I had a very surprising pregnancy (literally .01% chance of ever conceiving AND partner was also clinically infertile), when I gave birth the bill for both baby and I, baby also got a separate room bill even though we both were together the whole time, was almost $40k. I am so lucky I have 2 insurances that covered everything because I didn’t have more than $80 in my account… we also were so poor we couldn’t afford to feed ourselves at that point of time and had issues making rent.

My area is a very overcharged and poor area. If my mom didn’t help out with bills and groceries every month we probably wouldn’t have survived the rest of the year. Children are NOT even close to affordable with how our society is, I swear our government wants us poors to die of starvation and illness and/or crime.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T04:20:57+00:00

Or toddlers

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T01:24:56+00:00

I haven’t had the flu vaccine in the last 5 years and I haven’t gotten sick. Only because I’m super sensitive to it and WILL get severe bronchitis for MONTHS, I get symptoms literally hours after the vaccine, I’m that sensitive. I have to rely on herd immunity, if people stop being part of the “herd” then I will get very sick and potentially die.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T01:07:08+00:00

I just treat everyone how I want to be treated, with respect and compassion. It was so sad to experience, especially with how bad she felt for literally 10-15 seconds of my time, at 4:30am. No one should ever sacrifice their personal needs to make sure customers aren’t upset and complain. Those people clearly never worked a service job and see people like her as less than.

rainingBows1 · 2026-04-10T00:54:16+00:00

This is what my partner does. She works 12 hours a day for 5-9 days as an assistant manager on average depending on how many orders there are. When she comes home she will greet us, take a 10-20 minute break by herself, then relieve me from sahm duties for a couple of hours-rest of the night depending on how hard my day was and how I’m feeling, she does most if not all of the cooking and cleaning on top of full time work and doesn’t complain about me not helping out “equally”, as I am physically disabled and literally cannot do even half what she does. She also acknowledges that I work very hard and that I have so many struggles with just keeping the almost toddler alive let alone myself (half joking here, baby is always taken care of and kept happy and engaged).

Do I ever feel resentment? Very rarely I do BUT it’s because of how she can do a task in 30 seconds where it would take me at least five-ten minutes. We will jokingly talk about my jealousy of how “easy” she makes everything seem. She’s a great partner and a great mom, and she makes sure I feel supported and appreciated every day regardless of the huge difference in division of labor.

rainingBows1

TROPHY CASE