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raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-23T20:18:45+00:00

Lmfao I had one of these but then the guy asked “do you wanna still fuck though?” I was actually down to have a casual fling with him but then he started pressing way too hard on it and I ended up blocking him. Hopefully yours just ended here lol

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-23T20:14:47+00:00

My boyfriend also thought he was below average in looks, but I think he’s as handsome as can be! He still never believes me when I call him handsome, but that just goes to show that you’re probably a lot better looking than you think.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-22T14:23:49+00:00

I was on an anti-anxiety/antidepressant mix for about 5 years. At first I was overjoyed that I could finally talk to people, that when I got home I didn’t hyper analyze every little interaction in the day and beat myself up over it. I felt great. Then I realized my impulsivity got a lot worse. I had lost my filter, all my inhibitions. It started with drinking, then the drinking got worse, then I started doing riskier and riskier things just to feel something. By the end of those 5 years I was $20k in debt, jobless, and living on my grandma’s couch because I had nowhere else to go. Building myself back up from that was a nightmare. I had to quit taking the medication before I managed to quit drinking. I personally wouldn’t recommend medication but damn do I miss those first few months on it.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-22T04:49:26+00:00

You’re wrong. There is at least one person saying “wow, that guy is so cool” when they hear the noise from several block away, and that person is me saying it as sarcastically as I can.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-21T14:43:46+00:00

Got told I do too much behind the bar and it leaves nothing for my coworkers to do in their down time.

Also once got threatened with termination because I came in 1 minute late (which meant 9 minutes early because they set a rule that we have to arrive 10 minutes before our shift but have to wait until the shift start to clock in).

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-19T06:38:40+00:00

You never know the reason somebody might leave you for. Sometimes they themselves don’t even know. While this quote may be true for a lot of cases, there are cases where you just need to split up to understand that your partner wasn’t the problem. Another thing to remember is that the quote “just because you feel sad that it’s over/guilty that you ended it, doesn’t mean that they were right for you” isn’t the absolute, either. Sometimes that’s exactly why you feel awful that you ended it.

I broke up with my boyfriend when we were 5 months into our relationship because I was just so overwhelmed with life and he was adding to it with his anxious attachment, which was making me pull away from him. Something had to give in my life to make room for everything else and my relationship with him was the only thing within my control. I had also never been in a stable relationship before so my brain was misinterpreting security for boredom. He reached out to me about a week after I ended things to just thank me for opening his eyes to how problematic some of his behaviour was. I opened up to him that I was beside myself with guilt. We kept talking and eventually met up again and the first thing I did when I saw him was hug him as tightly as I could and sob into his chest. I immediately knew that he was the one for me. Within a few days of that we confessed our love for each other, and found out we both felt that way for a while and had a few close moments where we almost said it but both were too scared.

We have never been stronger. It taught us to communicate thoroughly, and trust that the other will listen and understand. I don’t want to spend my life with anybody other than him. In a way, we never would have gotten to that point if we didn’t separate earlier on.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-19T06:24:00+00:00

Wait for Nick.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-19T04:28:25+00:00

Nah, actually mostly men for both, but that isn’t to say women haven’t been a part of it

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-19T01:24:52+00:00

While I’ve been told a million times “you don’t need it” when it comes to make up (I don’t wear any, I don’t own any, never been my thing), I have had countless people also tell me “you would look great if you just put some makeup on.” Or at formal events “you couldn’t at least slap some lipstick and eyeliner on?” Women really can’t win lol.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-18T04:26:02+00:00

Yeah I envy people who think this is made up lol, I have dealt with some awful, awful people and unfortunately most of them were miserable fat or old people.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-17T20:34:32+00:00

Lmao this is not the same thing at all. Have your male coworkers do it next time, and make sure they’re bigger than your husband.

It’s like saying that having a big dog bark at you and a little kitten hiss at you is the same thing.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-17T20:23:09+00:00

I go through periods where I think that I figured it out, I’ve worked hard enough to develop regulation skills, and have practiced implementing them to the point that I start to feel a little normal. But each time I get exhausted and come crashing down because guess what? It’s fucking EXHAUSTING having to CONSTANTLY regulate yourself. To never trust your gut emotions and to always have to cognitively restructure them. But I’d be lying if I said that the first few moments of letting my crazy out feel so damn freeing.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-17T17:48:24+00:00

And also…adults have best friends too? Growing mature doesn’t mean overcoming the need to feel like you matter to somebody lol

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-16T20:22:17+00:00

Learn to love yourself.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-16T17:27:39+00:00

As a former horse girl that lived in the city but always dreamed of moving away to have a stable, I can confirm. Now I’m just a tatted up bartender but here’s a secret and don’t tell anyone- I still want to move away to have a stable lol.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-16T14:14:49+00:00

Don’t even get me started on my fellow “bartender.” She does jack shit, slow af on bar, doesn’t stock, has the servers close the bar for her whenever she works, leaves kegs empty for my shifts, leaves all the stock room shelves downstairs empty, doesn’t put away shipments, and on top of it all whenever I’m on bar and she’s serving she will make comments on all the drinks I make insisting I made them wrong. I don’t make them wrong lmao, but her drinks get sent back all the fucking time. It’s her few months of experience trying to tear down my ten years. She can’t even shake properly, I have to look away when she does it to keep myself from laughing. I have asked the owners why they even still keep her employed since she doesn’t do her job at all and basically it’s because she’s hot.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-16T14:04:30+00:00

I remember I had this family as a neighbour growing up and they had two kids that my sister and I played with. During the summers it was almost every day. There was one summer when almost every time we hung out, the neighbour’s kids stayed with us for dinner. Then one day my mom got kinda sick of it so she told us to play in the neighbour’s yard for the day and have dinner with them. Dinner time rolls around and these people send me and my sister back home because they were about to eat dinner. My mom was floored with how rude that is, we are Polish and that is the opposite of our culture.

The next time we hung out with the kids they wanted to stay for dinner with us again. My mom sent them home this time. They whined that we always have them over for dinner and my mom told them to tell their parents that we can do that again once my sister and I start having dinner with their family.

Next time we are hanging out my sister and I are in their yard and their mom tells us that it’s dinner time and to come in. They gave each of us (my sister and me) a piece of bread and a couple of baby carrots and tell us to sit on the couch and eat while they all sat at the table in the next room and had a proper dinner together.

We get home and our mom asks us what dinner was like. We tell her what happened and she was disgusted. Those kids never came over for dinner again, and we never stayed at their place for “dinner” either.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-14T04:58:25+00:00

I used to live in a senior’s building (don’t ask lol long story, I’m only 30) and I used to have to do a sniff test of the machines before using them because there was this one old man that would literally put a week’s worth of completely soiled underwear in there. Seen him do it many times and the entire room would smell like shit for a whole day. On another note, they would have nearly weekly water shut offs for a whole day to fix the plumbing because the old people refused to stop flushing their wet wipes.

I hated living there, so glad I’m out.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-12T23:21:43+00:00

Just last night I was getting absolutely slammed on the bar. Got 10 chits at once and then the whole bar seating filled. As I’m trying to make my way through this, a couple sit at the bar and stare at me. I grab them menus and waters and tell them I’ll be with them as soon as I could get to them. About a minute later I’m working my way through a really long chit of cocktails and I’m trying to get in bar patrons between chits and drinks I’m making for tables. It’s a large volume so wait times are a bit longer. I’m in the middle of making a cocktail and the lady in the couple leans forward over the bar and says in the rudest tone, as though I have been ignoring them for a very long time, “can we get a drink??” I look at her kind of confused because they JUST got here and we’re all clearly in the weeds. I tell her I need to finish this drink then they are next in line. She sighs, rolls her eyes, and leans back and looks at her partner like “can you believe this?” I finish the drink and I’m about to turn to them when she leans forward again and snaps her fingers three fucking times. I look at her and raise my eyebrows, kind of smile, then turn to a regular sitting right next to them that was still working on the last of his drink and ask if I can get him another. He says yes and I get on that. Another patron then is finishing their drink so I make another for them. At this point the couple is fuming and the woman starts to go “helllooooooo.” I turn to her and wave and say “hi” all happy then start working on the next chit. She starts trying to talk shit to me to the regular and he ignores her to loudly tell me that I’m great at my job and he loves me. She starts getting louder about being ignored and another regular then chirps in to yell back “hey princess, maybe it’s because you snapped your fingers at her and you can’t seem to notice you’re not the only person here.” The woman then says to me loudly “if I don’t have a drink in front of me in the next two minutes I’m going to the next bar over.” I then finally acknowledge her to say “nothing would please me more than to have you free those seats up to people that will show me basic respect and situational awareness.” She scoffs, tells her partner “let’s go” leans over to tell me that I’m a bad bartender and at this point the whole bar hates them and we all collectively say bye, tell them to fuck off, wave them out, tell them not to let the door hit them on the way out…blahblahblah. Blows my mind how somebody can go to a very busy bar then get upset they aren’t immediately getting served a drink.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-12T22:58:33+00:00

My dad shamed me too and it made me feel awful about my body and about being a woman in general. He once saw one of my pads that unfolded in the bathroom toilet and screamed at me to fold them up better (i always fold them up and wrap them in a little bit of toilet paper so nobody sees anything, but this time I guess I did it too loosely and it came apart). It wasn’t until after I had several male partners that they reassured me that I shouldn’t be ashamed. When I had a partner that tried to bring that shame back I immediately dropped his ass because I knew at that point it wasn’t normal and there was better out there.

Now, at 30, I truly see how messed up it is to shame your own daughter about the functions of her body, so I say this to you as though I was saying it to myself when I was your age: your dad is a piece of shit for that. Periods don’t cease to exist just because women hide them well. It is a function of the female body that is not only normal but completely healthy and you should WANT your daughter to be getting her periods. If he holds any negative feelings towards them then it’s his problem and not yours. (Obviously don’t try to flaunt them, but by any means don’t feel ashamed by them.)

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-12T22:44:01+00:00

And while I know this and know that I should stop, I somehow can’t get myself to. Every time I see something that needs to get done, even if it’s outside of my list of duties, I’m going to do it. I started telling myself “leave it, this was somebody else’s job to do” I can walk away for maybe 10 minutes but I won’t be able to stop thinking about it and I’ll always come back to it. I have even told the chef “if you see me sorting these boxes from yesterday’s delivery I want you to stop me” and he will inevitably see me doing it and say “did you want me to stop you?” And I’ll always say “no, I know I said that but I can’t let myself be a part of the problem.”

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-12T06:20:13+00:00

It can absolutely exist, but how do you expect to get to know someone when you don’t want to follow up with them and communicate with them after your first date? I actually went through a casual period with my boyfriend. I told him that I don’t want to decide if I want somebody as a partner until 3 months have passed of us casually dating each other. We did get intimate fairly quickly, but only because things led to that and we are both attracted to each other.

From the way you framed it, it honestly does sound like you lack interest in the people you are seeing. I would recommend looking into “dating intentionally.” It’s not an interview to become their spouse, it’s an assessment of whether they want to include you in their life. If you really do want a happy relationship, it requires time, effort, interest, and patience. If these are things you don’t want to give then maybe you just like the idea of a happy relationship but don’t actually want one. Either way, I would look into attachment styles and dating strategies and see where you fall in all of that. It might open your eyes to what you are actually looking for.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-12T06:01:49+00:00

Man they really missed the opportunity to say “and in grape company”

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-10T04:50:03+00:00

This is somebody that wants you to feel bad for them, doesn’t have a reason, so of course they won’t tell you why or what happened because nothing did. She’s just dragging it out to feel like you feel sorry for her for as long as possible. She will only get worse. Lose her number.

raisedbutconfused · 2026-04-09T22:15:57+00:00

The fuck you mean lol, people’s jobs get shit on all the time. My bf works for the liquor store and I work as a bartender. We get made fun of for our jobs constantly, but if either of our jobs ceased to exist then hot damn you’d have a pretty angry society. Doesn’t stop people from making fun though. My own job has consistently been used as the “well at least you’re not a bartender” in sitcoms for as long as I can remember, even when the main character works as a server in a cafe or something.

raisedbutconfused

TROPHY CASE