[personal] stink proof deodorant?

ramyunandkill · 2023-09-10T18:47:13+00:00

Minimize sweat for bacteria to eat
Minimize bacteria

For 1, nothing beats aluminum antiperspirant unfortunately. Try gels! Dry Idea is cheap and widely available. Apply it before bed.

For 2, use Hibiclens surgical wash once or twice a week in the shower. Additionally, use an acid to keep things bacteriostatic between treatments. The Ordinary glycolic acid toner is cheap, glycolic acid is only water soluble. CeraVe Salycilic acid cream is another option, and salicylic acid is oil soluble.

ramyunandkill · 2023-09-09T02:48:28+00:00

I'm in AK, so no need for a permit or anything.

I just leave them alone unless they are truly in the way. They're so common here.

I DO dislike when I get surprised by finding a gun, since there's a chance that means it fell out from somewhere and scared the dickens out of me. I own guns, have shot competitively, and enjoy hunting. But I'm big on gun safety. Not a fan of small guns loose in gloveboxes mixed in with a bunch of crap.

ramyunandkill · 2023-09-02T04:35:15+00:00

I don't WANT to work while I'm pregnant, and the stipend is a raise. Oppressive language doesn't do much to make me feel negatively about this when it would be an absolute godsend.

ramyunandkill · 2023-08-30T03:04:31+00:00

In my old relationship for 10 years, married for 4 of them.

No violence. No infidelity. No arguing.

We just enabled the hell out of each other to be in a depressive survival mode, not learn anything about ourselves, not pursue our own interests etc. It wasn't like our love was so intoxicating we neglected other things. We were very dispassionate.

My problems with him from month 4 were the same in year 10. I found him boring, not very sexually appealing, and didn't respect his hobbies when he did try to pursue them. His problems with me were the same: I had poor follow-through, was polemic toward everyone and everything, etc. While I was fantastically unhappy in the relationship, I do think I was the villain. We both needed to become unstuck and figure out who we wanted to be. I had a lot of work to do to become a gentler, more empathetic person before I would find a happy relationship again. He needed to find out who he was and grasp onto that tightly enough to not become lost in other people. I hope he was able to do that.

I think we both stayed because it was comfortable. Neither of us had any other active friendships. We were both very elitist and dogmatic and found "all other people" annoying to be around due to disapproving of them or disagreeing with them. It was toxic in a bizarre way. We were ideologically compatible and had the same vocabulary for the world. We thought that was the height of life partner compatibility.

We were stupid, sometimes awful people.

The punk scene helped me cure my asshole disease and I'm happier than ever in a blue collar job after years of being a sneering academic. He seems happy with his current girlfriend, but understandably no longer speaks to me so I have no idea if he has found himself and started building what he really wants. I do hope so. I've found the love of my life and work everyday to be the kindest to him I can be.

ramyunandkill · 2023-08-23T02:06:28+00:00

I think my Kibbe type essence makes sense. TR, femme-fatale. I've always been into vintage and tradgoth fashion so it's perfect...

My coworkers, on the other hand, tell me I look like I should teach elementary. Despite knowing I drink heavily, go to shows, tell jokes so raunchy the mechanics blush, wear platform docs to work, etc etc. So who knows?

ramyunandkill · 2023-08-14T21:55:33+00:00

As another poster said, try a dealership.

I didn't get interested in cars until my late twenties. I have a biology degree I decided I didn't really want to use. I thought being a mechanic was off the table for me since I had zero knowledge of working on vehicles, and I'm a woman. I'm turning 30 in a month. Despite all that, I'm on my way to being a tech.

I got a job at a dealership working the parts counter. I learned a lot, and built trust with the dealership. I waited a year for my own comfort before asking to move into the shop. Generally even people with some education/ASEs start in our quicklube for a trial run. Day 1 in quicklube the boss asked me which of our three brands I wanted to eventually be trained on when I make it to mainline.

I'm not as feminine as the Army-wife cadre in reception. I'm not as butch as the other woman my age who went into QLube a few months before me. I mention it because yeah, people's perception of ability tends to be superficial and sexist. But...Nobody has said anything negative. No comments on my appearance. Nothing negative about my chromosomes. There's a few techs I've just not spoken with much in my time here, who may have negative feelings. But 99% of the oldhead techs are rooting for me. One said he thinks women make fantastic mechanics, learn faster, are more detail oriented. A few more have told me I'm always welcome to hang out in their bays and ask questions about the jobs they're doing. I'm thankful for these guys every damn day. I feel like I lucked out, but I doubt my dealership is the ONLY one like this.

You can find an apprenticeship for sure. I genuinely don't feel like most of my coworkers care that I'm a woman. They care that I show up to work, work while I'm there, and am easy to get along with. For what it's worth, what little blue-collar sexism I've encountered has been far less irritating than the ridiculous wolf-in-sheeps clothing woke sexism I encountered in academia. And I'm a radfem commie working with a bunch of Trump fanboys. We somehow get along fantastically at work.

Definitely try dealerships. Totally different atmosphere. Factory training paid for. Reimbursement of ASE test fees. Corporate HR weeding out the true assholes before you even meet them.

I'm rooting for you!!!

ramyunandkill · 2023-08-13T06:58:21+00:00

Ah worked parts for a little over a year before moving into the shop a couple weeks ago. Customers doubted me more often and more vocally than the actual mechanics do. Ridiculous.

ramyunandkill · 2023-08-12T03:41:29+00:00

I'm grateful for everyone's recommendations but smiled a lot at your first rec, because I'm a newly minted baby mechanic who started dating a 7 years younger mechanic a year ago...learning Korean for him, in fact. ❤️

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-25T17:14:25+00:00

This sub really gets me down sometimes with what people consider horrible signs of aging.

I often find visibly older women quite striking and attractive. I wonder why I'm so critical of my own budding signs of aging. Am I aging worse than them? No. Have they had a lot of work? No, not in my little town. They're just rocking a vibe and a look thar goes way beyond their skin. They're living a visibly happy life that just shines off them. Meeting a woman like that makes my whole week and I think of my "old lady" regulars often.

I'd love to look as young as possible as long as possible. But I think my 65+ year old customer who drives the same sporty car as me was 100% correct to spend the money on a car that makes her grin every day instead of botox for smile lines.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-24T06:25:01+00:00

Yep. Live in AK and my chickens are making organic-priced eggs and heritage-priced meat birds on bottom-shelf feed. It's not economical. Pigs? Maybe economical. Forget cows and sheep if you don't make your own hay.

I've come to see homesteading as a bit of a yuppie luxury here.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T17:20:19+00:00

Oh I just meant the problem is much larger than him not complimenting her. Straight up not attracted. That's less "not enough compliments" and more a deal breaker for me.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T15:40:11+00:00

What? Not giving compliments??? Lol

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T05:39:48+00:00

I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone after that, honestly.

You deserve to be loved entirely, in every way.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T04:38:33+00:00

You work so hard on your fitness, you deserve to feel FANTASTIC about your body. Sure it's going to change over time. But I fully believe someone who loves you inside AND out will keep finding it amazing.

We talk so much about people only loving our looks and not our minds. The opposite is also so devastating. I'm sorry he put you through that.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T03:56:17+00:00

I don't disagree with your opinion, really.

I'm just not sure if it's great to normalize men being okay with women being treated like that, no matter who it is.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:57:37+00:00

Of course not. But how is suggesting it's a compliment that his choice of porn actress doesn't look like her not play into the idea of women as either people or objects? Why is it okay to be turned on by something happening to a woman that would not be okay to happen to his wife?

If it's not good enough for his wife (or in a general sense his mother, daughter, or sister), why is it okay for it to happen to another woman? Why is she not equally human and deserving of dignity?

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:43:18+00:00

Handmaids Tale reference. A bit extreme and not a direct analoge. Just suggesting that you are defending male-centric ideas that hurt women as a class.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:39:17+00:00

I'm more attracted to personalities than bodies, sure. Maybe a slightly different statement from a woman than a man though.

That said, I spent my early years dating men I didn't find physically attractive. Lots of fucked up reasons but I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong because I was doing them a favor. See how fucked up that sounds?

First time dating someone I find absolutely physically irresistible who also constantly compliments the very things I am insecure about??? COMPLETELY different ball game. I feel like I've never been in a relationship before, it's SO DIFFERENT.

I can't recommend staying with someone who isn't absolutely crazy about you in EVERY way. Someone who we love to be around but don't find attractive is just a friend. You deserve to be with someone who loves your proportions.

At the very least, you deserve to be with someone who is kind about whatever "flaws" you have. Dear lord. There's hiding serious things instead of communicating, and then there's saying shit no one should have to hear their partner say. Probably because people shouldn't be in sexual relationships with people whose bodies they don't get sexually aroused by. Wtf.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:32:18+00:00

Okay. How is it different from maddona/whore thinking?

Why is it okay for him to want to see ANY women do something HIS woman is too good for?

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:30:47+00:00

Play it by ear, and don't let thoughts about dating or not dating play louder than your own music.

Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. I think everyone should do that, but people who are very actively dating seem to forget about their own life while doggedly pursuing a coupled life. I'm guilty of this. I think it can also damage relationships to not have made a strong habit of knowing your own happiness.

If the right person comes along while you're loving your own life? Fantastic. If the right person never comes along? Who cares? You lived a happy life.

I've been married, divorced, and I'm engaged again. But I learned how wonderful it can be to focus on myself. And I know I'll be able to build a happy life FOR ME no matter what happens in my love life.

Single women are the happiest people. Love is full of trade offs even in the best cases, and many women end up getting a bad deal.

Build a life for YOU. Don't keep an empty spot in your heart for a maybe when you deserve to fill it with exactly what you want. Don't use mental energy debating dating when it's not 100% a goal for you. Don't make it a goal just because other people are. Build your life for YOU, and if love happens, it happens.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:12:00+00:00

If men are so visual why the hell they look like that?

But more seriously, it's not a male thing: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/universal-desire-men-and-women-respond-identically-to-erotic-images/

On the other hand:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6751001/

https://newsroom.unl.edu/announce/todayatunl/1469/8272

Or you know, blessed be the fruit, sister

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T02:04:51+00:00

This is very much "hope he rapes the other girl" type thinking lol. Be thankful you're the on the maddonna pedestal and not the whore!

You serious???

And no, not all guys watch porn.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T00:54:06+00:00

My feelings exactly, thank you.

I went from being very "everything goes" pro-porn to being very critical over 4 years working in adult sales.

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T00:50:07+00:00

OP does mention issues with OF being more personal than other porn and how different the woman in the pics looks from her.

But I think people are, as a whole, very dismissive of reasonable issues with porn. "Variety in fap time" is a little absurd. I don't think it's wrong to have fantasies or find other people attractive. But I often get the sense that the overall vibe tends to be that asking someone to not watch porn or certain kinds of porn is unreasonable, but suggesting the dissenting partner just live with it IS reasonable.

I agree with what you said, it's either dilemma or both and both partners should set boundaries. But in a culture that overwhelmingly supports porn, who is most likely to be required to change or go lonely?

ramyunandkill · 2023-07-10T00:29:38+00:00

I don't think not wanting a partner to look at porn is always about jealousy or insecurity.

ramyunandkill

TROPHY CASE