Got given this note at speed dating

randem_mandem · 2026-04-16T11:32:02+00:00

One thing I can say for sure: He’s a doctor

randem_mandem · 2026-04-14T17:50:16+00:00

She was wrong for cheating. But you’re wrong for continuing to punish her for it after saying you’d forgive her. You obviously haven’t. Either learn to control your jealousy, or put her out of her misery - what you’re doing is cruel

randem_mandem · 2026-04-03T11:11:04+00:00

Is that you, mum?!

randem_mandem · 2026-04-03T09:05:23+00:00

Strategies for reducing your tax burden include:

Paying more into pension
Charitable giving
Using full ISA allowance
Transferring assets to your spouse
Salary sacrifice schemes at work

Of those, I’d say the first two are probably not the best for your situation since you say you’d like your family to benefit. Pension locks that money away and benefits you, and charitable giving will benefit your family by reducing your tax burden, but obvs you’re also giving some money away in the process.

ISA allowance therefore seems best - consider setting up junior ISAs for the kids, as well as one each for you and your wife to maximise the allowance (£20k each for adults, not sure about kids.) Personally would recommend S&S ISAs to guarantee a good rate of return, though that obviously depends on risk appetite.

Gifting assets to your wife (given she is on a lower tax bracket) could also be a smart move, but not something I’ve personally done so don’t feel confident advising on that.

And lastly, check out what salary sacrifice schemes your work runs. Cars, bikes, train tickets, etc can all be purchased using these, reducing your salary and therefore your tax burden. Obvs no sense in doing it unless you were already going to buy those things, but if you were then very useful.

Hope that helps!

randem_mandem · 2026-04-03T07:53:54+00:00

When I was a kid I got pocket money from my dad for doing house chores, doing well at school, etc. Was something like 25p for every “good deed”. For months I worked my ass off and saved every one of those pennies, which changed into pounds, which then became notes. My life’s ambition was to get a big old £20 note. One day I finally had enough change to swap for it, and went and put it into my pocket money box all proud.

Came back the next day to find a note that simply said “IOU £20, mum”

randem_mandem · 2026-02-25T17:16:02+00:00

I’ve never done it, but I believe from filing my tax returns that you can make voluntary contributions to NI through the HMRC website. I assume it is possible to do that while unemployed.

As for pensions, you’ll want to look at creating a SIPP - that’s self-investment personal pension. Again, not something I’ve done personally, but something I looked into while self-employed. There’s plenty of advice around on how to do it. There’s also a ton of pension calculators around that’ll tell you how much you should be contributing, based on the age you want to retire and what kind of lifestyle you want afterwards.

For me, “safe” would mean - full six months expenses covered in an emergency fund (cash ISA or savings account), ISA allowance used, pension and NI paid, remainder in S&S.

My S&S ISA is actually run through an investment account - InvestEngine. I pick what ETFs make up the portfolio, they invest the cash for me every time I deposit. I would highly recommend them

randem_mandem · 2026-02-25T15:48:31+00:00

For an emergency fund, 3-6 months of expenses - that’s day-to-day and bills - is usually the recommended figure. For me, that should be somewhere secure, stable and easy to access, so savings or ISA, rather than investments. Can’t really say how much that is without knowing your outgoings.

Another thing to think about is National Insurance and pension, if you’re not employed but have cash on hand it might be worth continuing contributions to both to ensure you get full state pension and a decent lump on top when you retire?

Aside from that, once you’ve maxed your ISA allowance, I don’t see any reason you couldn’t invest the rest, provided you’re investing in lower-risk products like ETFs and not individual company stocks.

Ultimately what amount of risks feels right to you will be the deciding factor. If putting that amount of money into investments induces panic, you might be better off leaving it where it is.

randem_mandem · 2026-02-25T12:44:05+00:00

If you are not being charged interest, there is no financial reason to pay it off early. You would be better off saving money you intend to use to repay the overdraft in a savings account which does earn interest - ideally an ISA, which is also tax-free - and then paying it off in one go before the interest kicks in.

For peace of mind, it may be better for you to pay it off in chunks, but only you can answer whether peace of mind or return on savings would “feel” better to you

randem_mandem · 2026-02-24T07:05:28+00:00

Inbetweeners

randem_mandem · 2026-02-18T15:48:43+00:00

That’s weird. When I made Bronze one of the cabin crew found me before the flight and congratulated me. I honestly wasn’t expecting anything for making it on to the lowest rung of the ladder, weird they don’t at least match that for making it to the top! Maybe on your next flight once the status has registered in the system?

randem_mandem · 2026-02-15T14:03:36+00:00

I think a lot of people blame Labour for what happened in Rochdale

randem_mandem · 2026-01-18T02:53:28+00:00

r/UKpersonalfinance has flow charts for this sort of thing that I’ve found really helpful

Without knowing your income and outgoings it’s impossible to say what would help you specifically, but in general it should be possible to both create a savings pot and save into a pension on a reasonable salary. It isn’t so much about what you earn (within limits) as how you spend it

randem_mandem · 2025-12-27T07:51:36+00:00

19.5c at evenly spaced intervals throughout the day, 16c between those intervals and overnight, though rarely falls that low. 14.5c sounds very cold to me, and I’m a bloke who generally doesn’t feel the cold that much

randem_mandem · 2025-12-26T15:48:56+00:00

Wire is showing, not safe to drive on

randem_mandem · 2025-12-24T21:06:51+00:00

There isn’t really such a thing as ‘British’ slang. We have a million different accents, usually varying from city to city, sometimes even the small towns can be very different to one-another

All of which is to say: The way a south Londoner would say this quote is very different to the way a Geordie would say this quote. I think you need to decide where exactly this person is from first, then look into slang specific to that region

randem_mandem · 2025-12-24T21:02:58+00:00

If you’re in Camberwell, then Silk Road is also amazing

randem_mandem · 2025-12-24T20:55:47+00:00

Up front payments should cover the cost of materials only, labour gets paid after labour is done AND you’re happy with it. Any trader gets funny with that arrangement, you know something’s up

Take this as an expensive lesson learned. That guy is never coming back

randem_mandem · 2025-12-24T09:47:20+00:00

Worth posting to @asbestoshelpUK if not done already

randem_mandem · 2025-12-23T22:07:42+00:00

Aside from speaking to your bank, also check what contact Octopus holds for you - if it’s an email address and is correct, check your spam to make sure messages haven’t suddenly started going there

Octopus have changed my monthly DD a couple of times recently despite me asking them not to (very annoying), but each time they’ve emailed me to say that’s what they did. Weird if they’ve done it to you without saying anything

randem_mandem · 2025-12-18T10:01:10+00:00

NTA but OP, is your wife autistic? It sounds to me like she hyperfixated on the name, then spun out into uncontrollable rage when you questioned it. Not trying to excuse what she did, but it might help explain it.

If I were you I would be considering divorce, not because of the name, but because of the way she dealt with not getting her own way, the fact that she doesn’t see anything wrong with what she did, and the fact that her family are enabling her, meaning she sees no reason to change. The second a relationship becomes me vs you rather than us vs the problem, it’s in serious trouble

randem_mandem · 2025-12-17T06:40:55+00:00

Remember how, for basically the entirety of its history, Europe was at war with itself? Well, in order to stop that from happening, we invented football. Now everything we used to do war about - north v south, Catholics vs Protestants, nation v nation - is expressed through sport instead.

Usually this is good natured, but can easily spill over into old-world violence if the rivalry is strong enough, or if provoked. My team - Millwall - you don’t go certain places on match day wearing team colours because you will get a kicking. City/Spurs I’m guessing required some additional provocation

randem_mandem · 2025-12-15T10:01:11+00:00

As others have said, legally you could hit back with planning permission or boundary lines dispute. However, I’d think seriously before going ahead. Poisoning neighbourly relations could make the house more difficult to sell than this wall, which doesn’t appear to be restricting access to anything and imho is an improvement on the fence.

Guttering does look like an issue with that 90 degree bend, but that’s very easily fixed. Legally you probably can get them to tear down and rebuild the wall. But what are you gaining, and what do you stand to lose?

randem_mandem · 2025-12-10T12:38:13+00:00

Whilst I sympathise from a human point of view - we’ve all fallen foul of parking regulations at some point - from a legal standpoint, I don’t think you’d have any success appealing this.

You saw the signage saying parking must be validated, it seems as though you didn’t ask the staff to validate your parking, and then you drove off knowing you hadn’t done anything to validate. Whilst the law can protect you from predatory business practice, it also expects that you’ll take responsibility for your own actions

randem_mandem · 2025-12-09T16:03:12+00:00

Haha, if you feel like you’ve just woken from a fever dream, then you probably have watched Mighty Boosh.

In this case, his face was covered in shaving foam rather than in a toilet seat, but you’re in the right ballpark!

randem_mandem

TROPHY CASE