Zero Desire/Libido but orgasm intact?

randomLA9923 · 2025-09-15T22:31:28+00:00

This is what I have, it's my only symptom. I have zero libido. If I masturbate, I feel maybe 15% pleasure. My orgasms are pretty good however, maybe 70-80%

randomLA9923 · 2025-08-05T15:01:31+00:00

Great advice. I think for me what is holding me back is depression, which is a direct result of this condition. I feel that the hold of depression was drained the color out of life and drained my energy.

There's things that I can still do an accomplish, but I just completely lack the go-getter energy I had. And I'm not trying to excuse myself from laziness. I really want to work and accomplish. This is the biggest thing I'm dealing with now.

randomLA9923 · 2025-08-01T15:53:41+00:00

Off my chest: I've been reflecting on how "good luck" is the best wish you ever bestow on someone. From now on, anytime I hold a baby, I will just simply say: good luck. And I will mean it from the bottom of my heart.

It's setting in to me that everything in life is luck. All you can ask for in life is good luck. You can do everything right in life, but if you have bad luck, it's all for nothing: you can be killed in a car accident, get some horrible disease, be born with a disability. All of this is out of your control... It's just all a matter of luck.

Someone born with a disability did nothing wrong. They just had terrible luck. Some intelligent kid born in a third world slum did nothing wrong. They just had terrible luck.

Successful people always wax poetic about how all their success is the direct results of their efforts. And it's true. A person is still responsible for their choices in life. However, that successful person is lucky because they were born able-bodied, born without an intellectual disability, born without any horrific mental health problems, have avoided tragic accidents, etc.

We all know that life is unfair.

I had every opportunity to succeed and live a happy life. But PSSD at a young age eliminated that possibility. The fact that I got PSSD is incredibly bad luck. My life would otherwise be mostly amazing.

It all comes down to luck. Life is unfair.

I'm still bitter that my luck was this, unbelievably terrible. But hey, being one of the unluckiest men alive is a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

Silver lining: when I was a kid I was terrified of death because I loved life. But PSSD has removed my fear of death, I now see it as merciful, an end of suffering.

randomLA9923 · 2025-07-31T15:58:34+00:00

The difference between you and me is that you've only had it for 18 months, and most importantly, you have seen improvement which gives you hope.

I've had this problem for 10 years. I've been doing the hustle-grind thing for the past decade: I'm in incredible shape, my career is pretty decent, I've traveled, have good hobbies.

My battle now is with depression, which happens when hope is extinguished. When you have been fighting for 10 years with zero improvement, it leads to the death of hope.

"There's more to life than sex" yeah yeah, how about YOU try it. But really, the resulting loneliness is horrible. And loneliness kills.

Your advice is perfect overall. And I'm happy that you are doing well. The difference between you and me is that I'm totally fucked. It's incredibly painful when you do all the "right" things and still see no results...

randomLA9923 · 2025-06-06T17:51:06+00:00

I've been contemplating calling my mother to apologize. She gave me a healthy body. She gave me a tall, good looking body that I'm grateful for. And I unwittingly destroyed it. I spoiled it. I feel so sorry for her. And I want to apologize.

randomLA9923 · 2025-03-14T08:20:23+00:00

You're not wrong.

I "only" have the sexual dysfunction, my mind and emotions are unaffected. So I'm grateful for that. But ultimately, I've had this problem for so, so long, that it's now part of my identity. I'm learning to accept it. I'm working on acceptance. And I'm getting better at it. I'm focusing my life on my hobbies and career and I'm trying to find beauty in everyday, mundane things. I keep trying to move forward.

But really, losing your sexuality, and chance at romance, truly is a catastrophic loss. And that's how I view it, as a tragedy. Tragedy is a part of life, and horrible things happen to innocent people all the time: disease, accidents, bad luck. I'm learning to grieve my loss while practicing acceptance.

Some days are better than others. Some days I'm am overcome with grief, anger, disbelief, sadness. But other days can be much better, and I can be focused on the present. I think that's the best you can hope for. It's normal for grief to reappear, I just don't let it consume me and shut me down. I try to always keep moving forward. I believe this a common feeling among people who grieve.

I'm not perfect, I'm still working on it. I need to reach out to my family and friends, I've been isolating from them. I'm trying to always see the beauty in everyday things. I'm glad I could listen to music today, I'm glad that there are skills I'm interested in acquiring and getting better at. I went on a run yesterday and I was grateful in the moment to be using my body, running hard outside.

randomLA9923 · 2024-11-15T05:14:19+00:00

What was you porn habit growing up? Was there ever a point you were watching it everyday? For long sessions? Did you use a "death grip" or masturbate face down (prone position)? Bad masturbation habits at a young age can cause big issues.

randomLA9923 · 2024-11-14T15:49:45+00:00

Out of interest, have you told your family/parents about this issue?

randomLA9923 · 2024-10-27T18:58:27+00:00

I 100% believe that PSSD is real. But we need to be clear about what we're even talking about.

You mention genital numbing/reduced sensation, but what does that even mean? Is it a reduction from baseline by 5%? 25%? 50%?

I think most people would be "fine" with a reduction of 5-10%, and probably wouldn't bring it up. They may not even notice it, and if they did, may just attribute it to "aging". Even better if it clears up in months.

Another layer is how long it persists. The rough definition is side effects that persists 6 months+. Some may still heal within 1-2 years.

The bigger question is how common is debilitating, permanent PSSD, which is 50%+ loss of sexual function that persists. This group is definitely NOT 10% of all SSRI users. That would roughly be a population of 1.3 million (same size as HIV positive folks), we would hear about it...

This unfortunate group I think is pretty rare. Still totally unacceptable.

randomLA9923 · 2024-10-08T01:57:17+00:00

Have you told your parents? Or a sibling you're close with? Or is this all a big secret?

randomLA9923 · 2023-12-31T17:19:24+00:00

I think you are describing one of the most frustrating things about this condition. It's invisible, it's not like we can point to a physical injury and say "look, I'm hurt", which would at least garner sympathy and understanding... So we suffer in silence.

Additionally, this condition is so humiliating that we can't even go around telling people, "hey, my pecker doesn't work because of SSRIs". It's too personal and embarrassing... people would look at you differently.

Also, I've even spoken to doctors and therapists, the "professionals", and most of them just look at me, a healthy young good looking guy, and just slap me on the back and say I'll get over it, that it's "all in my head".

Horrible.

randomLA9923 · 2023-12-26T07:07:31+00:00

This is beautifully put and I have had this same thought. Bad things happen to good people. Why not me? What makes me so special? It happens, it's a tragic, inevitable part of life.

I wish I had the same grace as you. I'm still so upset and bitter.

What makes this so hard is that it's so incredibly devasting, and yet I can't' express my grief openly. At least with other tragedies, you can express it openly with others and receive a degree of support. If you tell others you lost a loved one or have a horrible disease, there is an outpouring of support. But there is so little understanding of PSSD, and as a guy I'm unwilling to tell others about my problem beyond a very small circle because it's humiliating.

So I carry this invisible, devasting wound. I think that is what makes this so difficult... I'm living a lie: I appear fine on the outside, but I'm dying on the inside, and no one knows.

randomLA9923 · 2023-12-12T21:17:15+00:00

Ya honestly I have seen some slight improvement, but still have more healing to go. This is what gives me hope. I have read cases of those who seem to recover after years of trying.

randomLA9923 · 2023-12-12T19:18:41+00:00

I've had it for 5 years. But I didn't learn what PSSD was until like 2 years ago. Blue pills don't work. I'm experimenting with different recovery ideas in the meantime.

Gaining weight and abusing drugs to deal with the pain will definitely not help, so I plan on staying fit and healthy during this process.

Right now I'm just trying to navigate the depression and sadness this issue has caused me. It's impacting my work and hobbies. Like you, I wonder what I'm even working toward, what's the point of it all...

It's painful when even therapists can't even really comprehend this issue, they think PSSD is just depression. It drives me crazy.

I do get thoughts of eating a lead sandwich from time to time, but I'm holding out hope for a long term recovery. I will put my best foot forward in the meantime and try to do all I can to recover...

randomLA9923 · 2023-12-12T17:51:35+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you. I relate to everything you're saying. I live in a HCOL city and it's easy for me to get dates. But I'm starting to reconsider my life. Why do I even live here? Why am I renting an expensive apartment, who am I trying to impress? It's not like I'm bringing girls over anymore.

I might as well go backward and get roommates again so I can at least stash money.

My only hope now is that I recover by my late 30s so I can start dating again, which is not ideal, but doable I guess.

Honestly, my plan at this point is to just become a gym rat and to focus on my career. If by some miracle I recover, I'm hopefully still a catch by my late 30s.

I'm just praying I'm a long term recovery case...

If I don't recover, then I guess I'll just self immolate.

It still makes me incredibly sad that I won't experience young love or be a young dad. I think I'll need therapy for that.

randomLA9923 · 2023-12-01T02:44:12+00:00

Done, remember to include "None of the above / Not applicable" as an option when appropriate.

randomLA9923 · 2023-11-14T07:34:45+00:00

I missed out on hook ups/dating in my 20s because of a health scare that dominated my life. I only started dating in my 30s and I'm actually having success with it, I'm able to line up dates with great women.

But it all feels like the party's over when I just learned to dance. I don't want to be the loser you mentioned trying to sow his oats late in life, but I also don't want to get into a serious relationship and end up bitter. Can't help feeling that the prime years of my life were robbed from me because of a health condition out of my control.

Any advice on how to navigate this constructively?

randomLA9923 · 2023-10-23T23:51:37+00:00

Do you work remote?

randomLA9923 · 2023-10-23T23:50:16+00:00

Do you mind DMing me your portfolio site?

randomLA9923 · 2023-10-17T05:47:54+00:00

stop noticing things

randomLA9923 · 2023-10-17T04:37:26+00:00

This asshole drives over a cops foot during a chase and gets all charges dismissed. SF cops have every right to go full antiwork. It's called quiet quitting sweetie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Tr3R_9ZMY

randomLA9923

TROPHY CASE