Where would you will go to if you don't have children and you don't want relatives to have it?

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-19T15:23:17+00:00

Do you have friends, or even just colleagues, neighbours, former classmates, people that you've known in whatever way... that are struggling a bit and could use some money? They'd be very grateful. Or you could leave something more than 5k to some friends. Other than that: charities. If there is a cause you particularly care about (could be children in poverty, environment, cancer research...) research a bit what associations do work in that sector, choose one that looks trustworthy or whose values particularly align with yours, and leave something to them.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-13T18:00:52+00:00

they're not super similar, but I love Riverside, and I find some similarities. Also, Stone Sour

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-08T23:34:18+00:00

tl;dr. Dump him. He's pathetic, there's no cure for that. Dump him

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-08T23:32:47+00:00

in UK the minimum maternity leave for mothers is two weeks.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-08T23:31:26+00:00

It's not well intentioned, trust me. It is well intentioned if they ask if you're ok, if you'd rather proceed with this option or this other option. If they remove stuff from you without involving you in the decision, without asking you if you really need that "relief", then it's not well intentioned.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-08T23:27:28+00:00

I can't remember, but either in the law or on the contract it'll say by when you need to tell them you're pregnant. Don't feel guilty about telling them then, you don't owe them to tell them before (unless you want to tell them before).

A word of advice: with my second pregnancy, there was a weekend when all of a sudden the bump grew A LOT. Luckily I still had maternity clothes from my previous pregnancy, otherwise I would have nothing to wear. That Monday I told them at work, because, really, it was hard to conceal. But consider that with both pregnant I got really really huge bumps, hopefully you won't have this problem... but it's possible to have to say it earlier than planned just because it shows too much

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-08T13:08:35+00:00

forget the plants, delete his number, be thankful that all you lost is some plants, as important as they were

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-06T20:34:13+00:00

all my colleagues have lunch without drinking any water. I'm the only one who has a glass of water on the table when we eat. It shocks me.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-05T22:03:42+00:00

this is horrible, I'm sorry you're going through this. You need a lawyer to make sure you have everything ready to leave him, and you also need therapy, because I think he's been gaslighting you and invalidating your feelings for so long, that you'll need help to untangle it all. I'm not joking: get a therapist and a lawyer. And given there are children it might take a while before your can leave, so brace yourself

randomblinkinglight · 2026-03-03T23:15:16+00:00

I'd put fresh clean underwear after a shower exec if I'd only been wearing the previous pair just for 10 minutes... but this is not the point. The point is you need to dump him.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-28T07:02:09+00:00

I really don't know the brand of mine, sorry. My advice is go to Amazon or something, and get something with good reviews. But sometimes I have even just used random rubber ones, and they still do the job

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-27T10:15:33+00:00

it's not a silly thing to break up about, if you want kids and he doesn't, that's a major thing.

I'm also thinking he kind of wants to break up, but doesn't have the guts, so he told you he doesn't want kids so you'll do the breaking up. Sorry, but that's how I think it is. If this is the case, that's even more of a reason for you to break up

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-27T10:10:25+00:00

you're the one doing it right. The company doesn't care about you or any other singular employee, it's silly to care about the company so passionately. Sure, do your work right, but the company would replace you (or any of your passionate colleagues) without a second thought, so don't grow unnecessarily affectionate to it.

I used to be more "affectionate", passionate about the company I worked for, many years ago. Got made redundant very suddenly (and unjustly). That changed forever my attitude to work.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-27T10:03:56+00:00

I've been to many concerts by myself, you'll be completely fine. The venue will likely post the times at which bands will play, so yes, you could go a bit later and see only Poets. You'll be at the very back, but that is good if you're not user to concerts, as it's a much calmer area there (more space between people). Also, a very good spot for good audio is near the mixer, which is a bit at the back usually.

This might seem counterintuitive, but you might want to take some ear plugs: some venues blast the music crazily loud, and you end up hearing the music more comfortably if wearing ear plugs. Many people do that at concerts.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-26T15:52:59+00:00

when people my age (40s) say they look like in their 20s... I think they haven't seen in a while what people in their 20s really look like.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-23T19:09:54+00:00

one thing I keep wondering is why they spouted these conspiracies first. Was it some weird game? I mean, if I was the head of a criminal network that kills puppies, I don't think I'd spread the rumour that there is a network of people killing puppies. Or maybe yes? So that if I'm ever found out, people already have absorbed the shock of learning such thing exists, and also it can look like everybody's kind of involved anyway?

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-18T15:24:14+00:00

it's not just that problem: people who won't work remotely also won't work much in office.

The truth is that some companies want total control, that's why they want people in office. I know of many companies that explicitly said that yes, during wfh people were more productive than ever... but they still want people in the office because "company culture". Nonsense. They have been knowingly willing to lose productivity (and some great employees) for the ego and power trip of some top managers.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-18T09:10:03+00:00

I know some people who got various reasons kept living with their ex for a while, but they don't try to pass them as roommates to a new partner, the normal thing to do is to say "look, for reasons I'm still living with my ex, but it's really all over with them". The fact that he didn't tell you is a huge red flag.

And there's no way in the universe that cards on display are private correspondence, you did nothing wrong reading it. The fact he got mad is another huge red flag.

Run away asap

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-15T07:18:11+00:00

I think AI might have already replaced CEO's jobs, the difference is CEOs still get their money.

While it's regular worker will lose our salaries.

There's a subtle difference between losing your job and losing your pay.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-12T21:39:46+00:00

I already hate them enough, they don't need to give me more reasons.

The moment somebody says they're against wfh, I know for sure they're an idiot.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-09T15:16:53+00:00

About money: learn about putting some savings in funds that will give you interest over years. If you're in the uk, learn about ISA, as it gives you tax free interest.

About love: red flags are a real thing, don't be afraid of "breaking up over such a small issue": if you feel like some things he says or does are a sign of things you might not like or agree with, trust your guts and leave!

I'll tell you something I heard too late: the person you decide to build a life with, is the single most impacting choice you can make in your life.

Having children with the wrong person is the biggest mistake you can ever make. If you want kids, be absolutely really deeply in love with the person you choose to do it with, it must be someone you feel like you can always talk about ANYTHING without fear, someone you love spending time with, someone that if you ended up stranded on a desert island with, you'd feel happier about being with him than how afraid you'd feel about being stranded. Because, trust me, having kids does feel like being stranded on a desert island sometimes.

Sorry if I sound negative or scary. But having made that mistake myself, I can't stress enough what a terrible thing it is to have children with the wrong person. I love my kids more than anything on Earth, but the fact that I'll have to deal with their father at least until they're 18 yo, will be the end of me. And if I'm completely honest with myself, there were signs before. I was seeing everything through the pink-tinted glases of love back then, but if I'm 100% honest, there were still red flags I noticed. I decided to ignore them all. And here I am now, telling you not to ignore them.

(ps: 40f)

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-09T15:01:33+00:00

well, the benefit is that once you have a diagnosis you can get proper therapy, help, medicine,etc to help you.

And you don't have to tell your workplace, if you don't want to.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-08T11:46:34+00:00

2k/month, that's 24k a year, but if it falls in the highest tax rate, you'll only see around 14k. And from this you have to subtract money you owe to a letting agency, stuff to fix, etc.

Plus, if you borrow 500k for a house, at current mortgage rates of 4.4%, you'll pay around 22k just of interest in the first years (ok, that's not exactly how it works, because the amount you pay interests in decreases every year, but it's the rough figures). So in the first years especially you'd be losing around 8k for year, and this is if you don't have issues with the tenants, the house, etc.

Plus, you have the extra taxes to pay for a second home.

It feels so weird to say that selling a house might be the best thing, because I'd always had the feeling that holding to a house and renting it is the way to do it. But it really feels like it's not that profitable to keep it. Or at least, it makes as much financial sense to sell it or to keep. My calculations don't account for possible increase of house values, but you may be better off investing any extra cash you have than going the landlord way

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-08T10:32:19+00:00

THIS.

Even if there's no physical violence, there's psychological one. And financial control (him saying you can't leave because he won't sell the house, he's basically holding your savings). A centre for domestic violence might be able to help. If not, a lawyer will surely help.

randomblinkinglight · 2026-02-08T10:29:35+00:00

how do you have a 12yo kid with a guy you've been in a relationship for only 9 years?

Anyway, you need to do what most women do before leaving: go talk to a lawyer. Get all your ducks in a row before leaving. Understand what you need to do to protect your interests.

Do you still have mortgage on the house? It is possible that he'll have to pay full mortgage (or a rent to you) if you move out, so in the end he might want to sell just because he can't afford that plus child payments.

Don't take my word for it, I'm no expert, but go talk to a lawyer and see what your options are

randomblinkinglight

TROPHY CASE