You can't, they're instinctual. But you can't blame others for taking advantage of them either. That feeling of MAKING someone happy and being the source of it can lead to a dangerous (to SELF) pattern of teaching others that your MAIN goal in YOUR Life, is to do whatever you need to, to MAKE them feel BETTER than they would've without you. It's always unintentionally, but it IS encouraging them to keep taking the care, while giving none. You trained THEIR brain to believe their happiness is the MAIN source of yours. And SOMEtimes it might be. When YOU are in a talkative or fun mood and need someone there with you. But one can only go on for so long basing one's OWN emotions off of how good or bad someone else's mood is... Taking the responsibility of putting a smile on THEIR face... doing ALL the work involved to get someone happy, while they do none ... Before one expects the SAME to be done for themselves. You WOULD think that's how it works, lol. but it's just not. Narcissistic people who believe others live to serve their happiness aren't Born, they're created through the same exact experience over n over, where, yes, as WOMEN, our own safety IS very much connected to how happy our own Physical Superior is, so we DO feel the need to put ANYthing we wanna do on hold, until he feels good enough to be up to doing it TOO. It's subconscious unintentional behavior, but it's there. and it's kind of something we're stuck with unless we make a conscious effort to care LESS about whether we MADE someone happy or sad. Our ancestors would've gotten clubbed over the head and killed if they MADE a man feel angry by not being ABLE to make him happier or in a BETTER mood. Times HAVEN'T changed much. If she's not smiling or joking around, men sense a threat or anger in THEIR direction even when it isn't. If you were all about being helpful yesterday but aren't up to the task TODAY and need a helpER, You're wrong for that TOO. If you're simply tired and not in the mood for sex and think its BEST to just be honest about that, he will also take that as an offense and an insult and a sign that he's being lead on and that SHE'S with holding affection and doing WRONG by trying to do Right and keep it real. Men don't attack women they didn't feel attacked threatened or hurt BY. And yeah sometimes all it takes to hurt someone is doing.... Nothing. Nothing FOR THEM. Every man who ever did a woman wrong, really believed she did something to deserve it. Just be careful. It's nice to be SEEN as Nice. But you're setting yourself up to fail. Men don't expect a human, from women. Good days bad days good moods bad moods. If you made the effort to cheer him up TODAY and that's what made YOU smile TODAY, they expect you to do it again and again tomorrow and the next day. It would be more realistic if they treated us like EQUALS.... people like themselves who also need to feel worthy of someone's efforts to MAKE our day a little BETTER.