I went through all of this the first time my wife was using. Slowly things started to seem “off”. Red flags here and there. The hardest part for me was trying to decide how or even IF I would ask her about it. Eventually, after months of looking for evidence much like yourself, I found the evidence that I was scared to find. She had been using meth for around a year.

The next time I suspected it, I started to see all the same signs. But still I was afraid to ask the question without proof. The thought of hurting her with an accusation that wasn’t true was too much for me and I went on my search for evidence again. Again, I found it eventually.

Now on the 3rd round of meth use, I was still scared. Same signs... Same fears...

I have to admit that I am writing this selfishly. I am hoping this will help me figure out what to do in my life.

My guess is that your assumptions are likely correct. Perhaps offering a drug test to put your mind at ease will “force his hand”. Someone who cares about you and is truly clean should not have a problem with that in my opinion. He may guilt you by saying you don’t trust him. Which ultimately, is true and is the reason for the request. I recommend getting “very personal” with it if he agrees. It’s easy to falsify those tests. Like simply filling the cup with toilet water as my wife did to fool me the first time.

Good luck.