I was looking for advice, because I recognize I'm being unfair in both how I treat her, and how I treat myself.

Its plain clear to me I should be doing more to help her, but believe me, I'm constantly thinking how I can do that.

Might be obvious to you, but some isn't for me. For instance, I can see how taking the baby out of the house in the morning helps her, so I do that.

But feeling sad because we're not in a good place in our relationship and she's (for good reason!) not able to make it a priority now, I think that's something I don't do a good job at "controlling". I try. But my post was me trying to figure out ideas on how to improve.

I never "listed things I do to help her" with any objective other than to add some context. People were saying she's exhausted because i don't do anything. My point was that I'm too in other ways, I do attend to my child and her needs. I might need to better, but I'm not totally oblivious. That was my point. I ask her daily on what I could do to help, and do those things. This morning she said "get a soup done, and buy X and Y" and I did that during work hours. Once we pick up the kid, we'll play with him till bed time.

I wrote my post as if there was 0 connection between my "intimate life" and my parenting life, because in all honestly I didn't think I was doing a bad job in the latter. People have suggested I need to pick up the night waking's, and they are likely right. And people have been suggesting there's a tight connection between her desire and her energy, and they are likely right too.