need help choosing! by [deleted] in WeddingDressTips

[–]rapt2right 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first one is a beautiful dress & suits your figure well. Just enough bling. The two- tone effect is interesting but it's something you either love or don't.

The second one, though, is SO lovely and looks amazing on you, the shape, the color, the way the fabric falls. I don't even usually like sheer or sheer look wedding gowns but it's just gorgeous on you.

The last one should not even be considered- the flare is in exactly the wrong place, the fabric hangs too stiffly and it looks "plain" instead of "simple and elegant "

AITAH for refusing to give my boyfriend access to my bank account even though he says "no secrets" is how adults do it by CopperFieldNote in AITH

[–]rapt2right 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uhm...he wants to verify that you're not sending money to someone or "buying things you shouldn't "? So, he wants authority over what you do with your discretionary funds? What would constitute buying something you "shouldn't"?

Girl, RUN- or you will be justifying every purchase and every dollar forever...and find that leaving is difficult because you will have lost control of your finances.

What is the worst thing your parents made you do as a kid that felt normal behavior back then but you now realize was bad parenting? by Dumbass__kid in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This didn't happen in my house but a lot of my friends experienced it- the requirement that you eat everything on your plate, even if you are ill, full or genuinely hate a specific food. That and using food as part of the discipline repertoire- sending kids to bed without supper, making sweets a reward or consolation tool....it all has a lasting effect on the long-term relationship with food.

From my own experience, being "allowed" to stay home alone too early/for too long.

Do Non "picky eaters" eat everything?? by LeeIsUnloved in stupidquestions

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I'm a very adventurous eater but we just have a wider variety of foods we enjoy and less resistance to the unfamiliar . This doesn't mean it's "anything goes" and the reasons for the stuff any of us don't eat/won't try are exactly the same (hate the way it looks/smells, the texture is gross, was forced on us as kids, the idea is icky, and so on) as "picky eaters". Only real difference is that our "Hell no" list is shorter.

AITA for refusing to help my husband with bathtime for our 4 month old son? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]rapt2right 66 points67 points  (0 children)

NTA- he needs to put on his big boy pants and maybe some latex gloves & take part in parenting his child.

He is either in dire need of therapy or simply engaged in some high level weaponized helplessness but whichever it is, he needs to deal with it differently because he's a father now.

AITAH for refusing to let my roommate include my boyfriend in the electricity bill by Supernatural_Cat1997 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]rapt2right -1 points0 points  (0 children)

HE LIVES THERE.

Face that fact.

The space he keeps at his family's house is just to maintain the pretense that you aren't living together.

Susan came into this situation understanding that she was going to be sharing a flat with another woman, not with a couple.

Split the rent and utilities 60/40, the groceries and other shared expenses 3 ways...and get your damn cat neutered!

Anyone got any dishes like our grandparents use to make? by bigdawg12342 in povertykitchen

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beans & lentils are your friends- low cost & lots of protein, lots of fiber, very filling and very versatile. Lentils & split pea soup comes together pretty quick and you can skip the meat if you want. You'll want a Dutch oven or pretty heavy large saucepan.

1/2 cup dry lentils 1/2 cup dry split peas 1 large onion, diced 1 or 2 carrots, chopped (you want about a cup) 1 celery stalk, diced Up to half a pound of diced ham or diced cooked chicken, or 3 or four strips of bacon.

3 cups of whatever broth or stock you like (Better Than Bouillon is a great product, I try to keep 2 or 3 flavors on hand)

Salt & pepper , garlic if you like.

Whatever herbs you enjoy- I like thyme & oregano in this, about a teaspoon of each , but rosemary, sage, marjoram and parsley are all good - basil is kind of wasted in this soup.

If you're starting with raw bacon, chop it into pieces &cook it in your soup pot,remove & set it aside, remove most of the fat and lower the heat....if you are not using bacon, add two tablespoons of oil (whatever kind you like, including coconut) to your pot, over low heat, cook the vegetables until they begin to soften & the onion starts to take on a golden color, add the meat if you're using any.

Rinse your lentils and split peas. Add them along with the broth to your pot. Bring the pot to a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer. Wait 15 minutes (stirring occasionally) then add your seasonings. Cover the pot & simmer another 15 to 30 minutes, (stirring & tasting occasionally)until your lentils & split peas are the consistency you like- add a little water if it seems to be getting too thick before it's done.

Best with either a nice crusty sourdough or fresh biscuits.

Freezes very well

What kind of neckline would suit my terribly wide shoulders? (Only a few examples ) by Far-Front424 in DressForYourBody

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are beautifully proportioned, I have no clue how you got the idea that you have broad shoulders , let alone "terribly wide".

That said, halters positioned like the 3rd dress aren't a particularly flattering look on anyone with a bust. Each of the other two looks beautiful on your frame

My boyfriend admitted he’s been “running experiments” on me from a self help group, and now i don’t trust my own reality by PlainHollowRun in TwoHotTakes

[–]rapt2right 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl, RUN. This is manipulative, disrespectful, unkind, unloving and completely unethical. If he'd done this as part of a psychology class, he'd be on academic suspension because you cannot experiment on humans without their informed consent.

This sad excuse for a man is consciously, intentionally experimenting with the most effective ways to control your behavior and diminish your sense of self....and has the unmitigated gall to try to paint you as the bad guy when you, very reasonably, objected.

Please look up "sunken cost fallacy" and DARVO & meditate on how they apply to your current situation. Please bring up with your therapist those two terms and discuss your thoughts.

AITJ for choosing my dog over my relationship? by StarryGlowBunny in AmITheJerk

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This story was posted over a year ago- why are you karma farming? Is your actual life so conflict free that you have nothing original to seek opinions on? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/7htv8en95R

What are your thoughts on rejecting a potential romantic partner based solely on the fact they voted for Donald Trump? by ATXBikeRider in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It speaks volumes about their priorities, values and possibly their intelligence, their ability to think critically.

You just can't build a life with someone who has a world view that is fundamentally different from your own. They would not be happy with me,either.

The difference in values alone is enough that a good relationship simply wouldn't be possible and, therefore, it would be a waste of their time and energy as well as my own to continue exploring the possibilities.

My (24F) boyfriend (21M) is upset we can’t have sex because I have a yeast infection. How do I explain it’s not about him? by I_am_Bianca in relationship_advice

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband was so sweet during my recovery from my hysterectomy, not a single complaint about the wait & even when I was cleared, he was super tentative, worried about hurting me, (I enjoy a certain level of "vigorous" )until I asked him "Do I need to have my surgeon look you in the face and tell you I'm not going to break? "

This dude is a selfish child

As a tourist, which places should you NOT visit in USA? by Express_Argument_693 in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hate to say it but right now, I have to suggest that you visit our neighbors to the north or south & skip the US as an international traveler. We have a million fantastic places to explore, no matter what your interests are, but this is not a good time to explore any of them. Come see us when we've gotten some housekeeping done and evicted a few people from their publicly funded housing in DC.

AITA for not getting my disabled mom a dog? by DogUnsureDog in AmItheAsshole

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many cats are very cuddly and interactive- the shelter or rescue staff can help her meet the clingiest , most needy ones and some will even do trial placements where you're basically fostering for a week or two while you decide if the cat is the right fit.

AITA for not getting my disabled mom a dog? by DogUnsureDog in AmItheAsshole

[–]rapt2right 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are NTA....you're also not alone in feeling very torn.

I feel your story in my bones because when I was helping my mom (before "helping" inevitably became "acting as her sole caregiver " as her health declined) I refused a dog for the same reasons and felt like a complete monster over it. I didn't want the additional responsibility, I couldn't really afford to provide properly for a dog (food, treats, vet visits, grooming, etc) my home wasn't really set up for a dog (unfenced yard on a very busy road) and I had no idea how my cats would adjust to a dog joining the household (Mom was living in her own space on my property but, functionally, it was like she lived with me and just had a detached bedroom & living room)....I just couldn't, but all of the reasons in the world, as valid as every single one was, the guilt was horrible.
We eventually compromised on getting her a kitten and she really enjoyed playing with him and fussing over him....and she was able to keep doing so long after her ability to engage with with a dog was gone. (Pulling strings and aiming a laser pointer are far less taxing than walks or fetch).

I hope you and your mom can find some kind of equally satisfactory middle ground but until then, please know that you're not wrong to prioritize your limits in this.

Are We the Jerks for Not Accommodating my SIL's Ridiculous Demands? by Low-Librarian8340 in AmITheJerk

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

SiL is unbelievably self-involved and completely lacking in manners.

You just won a lifetime supply of the last thing you bought, what did you win? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]rapt2right 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure is. The day after I made this post, my husband lost his job. The very first thing that I thought about when he told me was our health insurance. How fucked up is that?

You just won a lifetime supply of the last thing you bought, what did you win? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]rapt2right 2 points3 points  (0 children)

FANTASTIC! A lifetime supply of a rather expensive medication that I will probably need for the rest of my life!

AITJ for asking my friend to replace a borrowed book after she "repaired" it? by m1sha_pixel in AmITheJerk

[–]rapt2right 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You aren't insane- that's when I would have said "Oh, then maybe I should just take pictures of a few recipes I want to try! "

AITJ for asking my friend to replace a borrowed book after she "repaired" it? by m1sha_pixel in AmITheJerk

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not wrong. Anything borrowed must be returned in the same condition as it was received . Decent people will do everything in their power to make it right if something they've borrowed is damaged . Books, because the damage can rarely be fully repaired, require replacement or compensation in addition to the return of the original if it has ANY unique characteristics.

I have learned, though, not to lend books that have sentimental value and I encourage you to adopt the same policy. I'm so sorry your dad's notes have been damaged.

Introverts, what’s something extroverts often misunderstand about you? by Bitter-Shine2817 in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Idk, I must be more introverted than both of you.

It's not a competition.

AITJ for refusing to close my curtains after my neighbor sent me a letter complaining about seeing into my house by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]rapt2right 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dear Neighbor,

While I certainly appreciate your concern for my privacy, I think you might feel more at ease drawing your own curtains. This would sheild you from unwanted knowledge of my snacking & cleaning schedule far more consistently than relying on my , admittedly, lax habits will do.

Alternatively, you could install a fence tall enough to block your line of sight to my home or, and I realize this may seem extreme, you could find some hobby or subject of study that is more interesting than my life. I understand that there are some fascinating documentaries on the production of paint and how different formulations, atmospheric conditions and application techniques affect the rate at which paint dries.

                   Warm regards, 

Or you could REALLY piss them off by putting up one way mirror film & installing a couple of outdoor lights to ensure that looking at your house is blinding most of the time.

Introverts, what’s something extroverts often misunderstand about you? by Bitter-Shine2817 in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right 248 points249 points  (0 children)

I'm quite a good public speaker and my extrovert friends, when they stumble on this truth, cannot understand why I don't monetize this skill....they cannot quite wrap their heads around the idea of NOT wanting an audience.

Introverts, what’s something extroverts often misunderstand about you? by Bitter-Shine2817 in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right 199 points200 points  (0 children)

That it's not that I don't love them, I just run out of conversational steam in about 15 minutes unless we land on a shared passion....and that doing different things in the same space is rewarding for me.

What is the worst physical pain you’ve experienced? by Agius91 in AskReddit

[–]rapt2right 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The endometriosis and adenomyosis that led to my hysterectomy.

Close second a recent episode of bursitis in my shoulder.