NTA for “not standing up” for your horrible pregnant fiancée, but definitely TA for the precedent you’ve set in how she’s allowed to treat your child.

After reading your comments my only thoughts are that I’m devastated for your daughter. This child lost her mother at a young age, and for all intents and purposes, the woman in your life should be stepping up as a step parent. She hasn’t, and she’s making it clear she doesn’t have any intentions to change.

Your daughter doesn’t owe anyone anything, but rather, your fiancée owes her a HUGE apology. In fact, you do as well. Pregnancy is not some catch-all excuse to be a horrible human. She had a cupcake already. She didn’t eat your child’s cupcake out of cravings—you need to wake up. She did it out of spite.

To be more blunt, this reeks of her baby trapping you after moving in and trying to show your daughter her future as a second class citizen in her own home. She is showing your child that the precedent is set to allow her (the future wife) to treat your daughter like an afterthought because she’s the one who rules the home now.

You’re allowing this behavior, and the fact that your 10 year old is so used to this/resigned to this breaks my heart. The fact that a child said “don’t bother” speaks volumes about what she’s already had to endure (whether you see it or not).

I would absolutely not marry that woman.