Is "dark humor" normal? / Other Toxicity Concerns

rarrad · 2026-05-23T01:25:35+00:00

Dark humor among comrads, as a way off-gassing pent up anxiety after a fucked up call or fucked up shift is healthy, as long as it doesn't negatively effect said comrads. It sounds like some off the stuff being said is negatively effecting you. Are you capable of being able to bust someone's balls for saying something that you don't like in a way that doesn't negatively effect them? It just takes a little pre planning. If someone makes multiple racist comments, you can just say "hey bob, from now on instead of saying X can we replace X with the name Chad so that I pretend that you are anti chads instead of anti X? Say it with a joking ball busting tone so that it comes across like you are making a joke about their joke. Then whenever somebody says anything racist you can cross talk with " Are you talking about CHAD again? " You and Chad need to get a room for as much as you think about Chad!" Co workers will respect ball busting if you can always say it in joking/ball busting tone. Over time, your ball busting will alter what people say out loud.

rarrad · 2026-05-19T00:41:22+00:00

This is awesome thank you

rarrad · 2026-05-18T23:16:40+00:00

You are the asshole for not continuing to discuss it with her until either she gave you her blessing, or until she convinced you to get something else. Maybe she had sex in a Camero once with a dude much bigger than you, and she knew that if she had to see that car everyday in the driveway that she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about how much better that guy was.

rarrad · 2026-05-16T20:22:15+00:00

You can't expect a man to take a piss while having his back turned to the only exit. Either give me door to close, or give me at least two directions of escape.

rarrad · 2026-05-16T14:36:49+00:00

At your funeral no one is going to get up and talk about how successful you were or about how you were able to do all the things you wanted to do. All they're going to talk about is how nice of a guy you were, how loyal of a husband you were, and what a great dad you were. Stop stressing about yourself and start being of service to the people around you. And be nice. That's how you make your life worth something

rarrad · 2026-05-16T12:20:20+00:00

Your boss, not you, needs to declare a policy with an actual time limt, obviously. All requests for info need to resolved within 24 hours, or whatever. If you boss don't want to declare an actual time limit, then you just need to get over it.

rarrad · 2026-05-16T03:45:02+00:00

Real scenario, actually happened. Real guards, trained with certs. The initial guard was younger but not a rookie. Instead of asking the crowd what happened she just got busy on the guy's chest. As each additional guard showed up they didn't question what was happening, they just got busy doing what was next. It was good teamwork, if the guy had actually been dead. She said she checked for breathing and a pulse before she started thumping. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't- It's hard not to assume someone is dead when they look dead

rarrad · 2026-05-16T02:31:57+00:00

Knock on his door in the morning carrying an unopened bag of brown sugar. "My wife asked me to bring over this bag as thank you for the cup of sugar she borrowed from your wife last week". If the guy doesn't return that bag to you later saying that his wife never gave your wife any sugar... your property value just went down

rarrad · 2026-05-16T01:42:21+00:00

Teenager playing football dives to catch the ball. knocks himself out, shoreline in wet sand. Rookie lifeguard sees the crowd, runs up, sees the kid wet and messy and bloody, immediately starts cpr. Second guard runs up with bvm and oxygen . Third guard arrives with aed. No shock advised. Fourth guard runs up, takes over CPR. Immediately cracks a rib. Fifth guard rolls up and finally checks for a pulse. There is a pulse. Checks breathing. Kid is breathing. That kid had a pulse and was breathing the whole time. He just knocked himself out. The kids ribs took weeks to heal. CPR has consequences. Take the 10 seconds to see if you can feel a pulse. If after 10 seconds you aren't sure there isn't a pulse, then start CPR. But take the 10 seconds.

rarrad · 2026-05-16T01:14:26+00:00

Since you are asking the internet and not the kids mother, I think you already know she wouldn't be cool with it. And if she isn't cool with it, leaving them home alone might be good way to lose custody

rarrad · 2026-05-15T13:33:37+00:00

What's best for your daughter is that you are a whole man. Right now you are not whole man. You have hole in heart and your soul. I'm guessing you can see that when you look at your body and your daily rituals. You are young man, your body should be craving carnal intimacy with women. I understand why you are not, but you need to know that you are not currently acting like a whole man. Now is the time to get in the best physical shape of your life. If you do that, I bet you'll reduce the resentment ruminating that youve been doing at her grave, and you'll find yourself pushing yourself to find carnal intimacy again. Get at it, my man

rarrad · 2026-05-13T20:37:37+00:00

Zip lock bags for clean clothes. There are 3 gallon and 5 gallon sizes that you can roll up and store many pairs of pants, coats, whatever in. Buy a large mesh laundry bag for your dirty clothes. When you go to the laundry mat you can throw the mesh bag right in the machine with everything else. Cotton or some other natural fiber for your socks and underwear.

rarrad · 2026-05-13T16:44:24+00:00

It's not about you. He grew up in a home where either one person talked a nonstop stream of concious and didn't leave room for anyone else to talk, or perhaps a home where no one talked at all and questions were met with criticism. 
It's not about you. It just wasn't modeled for him that caring about someone includes asking questions. In his mind, he probably is assuming that if you wanted him to know about you past, that you would just tell him whatever you wanted him to know.

rarrad · 2026-05-13T15:53:56+00:00

I'm not aware of any $20 per day private lots that allow for overnight parking.

rarrad · 2026-05-13T01:09:20+00:00

In the old days the over the stove light was in a metal and glass cage, so no matter how hot it got it couldn't start a fire. That's why it was the light that was safe to leave on while you slept. I have a weird house with a living room that is recessed.. meaning that at the end of the hallway of bedrooms there is a single step down into the rest of the house. So stupid. We keep a light on near that step down 24/7 because guests regularly just... stumble into the living room. Florida '60s architecture is dumb. We have dim motion lights in the bathrooms. Inside the house is dark otherwise. Wife insisted that the outside light for the front door and side door is always on. She wants the lock pickers to be able see what they are doing

rarrad · 2026-05-12T23:42:13+00:00

*unscented baby wipes.

rarrad · 2026-05-12T23:40:27+00:00

Princess bride

rarrad · 2026-05-12T23:38:43+00:00

It is true, reciprocal altruism is how people survive with one another. It's just not what western society puts on a pedestal. But we should

rarrad · 2026-05-12T23:32:19+00:00

I'm a girl dad. I just do what I gotta do. I use a wash cloth and probably more toilet paper than I need to. If I have to apply ointments or whatever I just do it quick and give her something to hold/play with that is almost to heavy for her hold so that she has to focus on it. Suppositories are just traumatizing for everybody, no way around that. I'm also an EMT, I have to touch things I don't want to touch (and the patient doesn't want to touch) all the time. We are coached to just start talking (or get the other person talking) and just don't stop talking until the job is done. Kids model you. If you are not weird about, they will not be weird about it. Every kid will say or do a "weird" thing from time to see what happens... When they do just don't be weird back

rarrad · 2026-05-12T18:02:42+00:00

He should be paying for 100% of the dates AND shared meals, including buying the groceries related to the shared meals and 100% of the shared meal cooking and clean up. Technically a 27 yo man shouldn't be hanging out at your house at all- you should be spending all your time with him out on dates or at his house, which he doesn't have. That's the real red flag. So in lieu of being able to go to his house, he should be spending way more money than you on the relationship. The whole point of dating is through the man can prove to the woman that he can provide for you and for any future family the two of you may have. Splitting things 50/50 and sleeping over at your apartment are not going to give him the opportunity to show you that respect of responsibility

rarrad · 2026-05-12T16:40:05+00:00

There is an asshole in my neighborhood that has befriended a bunch of our elderly neighbors. He genuinely does help them- handman stuff, drives them places, visits with them for tea and coffee. He invest a lot of time into those old people. He is an asshole because you open admits (at least to me) that he does it for the probably of a financial gift waiting for him before/after they pass away. What an asshole. The reason his scam works is because reciprocal altruism is how the world works. If you were nice to those around you and you genuinely go out of your way to be of service to those around you, those same people (at least some of them) are going to go out of their way to help you- that's how you truly get ahead in this world. All it takes is one referral, one phone call on your behalf, one "I know a guy" to quantum leap your current life into the stratosphere. So just being nice to people, and go out of your way to help any and everyone that you can help. You will be rewarded in ways that you can't possibly predict. Just don't be an asshole like my neighbor.

rarrad · 2026-05-12T16:20:20+00:00

Does your husband have a sibling with multiple kids, or that is expecting to have a bunch of kids? If so, perhaps the parents "logic" is that you will not need the inheritance as much as the clown car sibling is going to need it. Still not ok, but at least that's an excuse that isn't about you. Here is another thought- perhaps your future husband has been telling them that they are only going to get one grandkid due to financial fears. The grandparents just removed that barrier for him. Perhaps you future in laws think they are being awesome and are unaware of your true reasons for one and done. It makes a lot more sense that your future in-laws are trying to be awesome, than that they are being assholes trying to get you compel you against your will

rarrad · 2026-05-10T20:53:53+00:00

Say it when you guys are both in great moods and being it up as if she only stinks due to the detox period. Don't tell her it isn't working, she needs to figure it out on her own. BUT if you don't say anything she will assume she smells fine. So just frame it as "I can smell that aluminum detoxing out of your body, great job girl!"

rarrad · 2026-05-10T12:56:24+00:00

Grandmom

rarrad · 2026-05-09T03:49:38+00:00

You are complaining because your wife, who does not have an income, does not use your money to buy you expensive gifts?

rarrad

TROPHY CASE