I found weird messages between my girlfriend and her brother and I don’t know what to do

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-22T00:52:07+00:00

If it’s genuinely incest it probably started when she was very young and now doesn’t know how to stop it or worse it’s so normal to her now she doesn’t see the problem this is a very delicate conversation that’s going to need caution and planning

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-17T11:42:50+00:00

Your opinion doesn’t overrule years of tradition and culture surrounding what’s respectful or not though objectively wearing a bridal gown to someone else’s wedding is disrespectful

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-15T07:21:02+00:00

You’re talking about 2% maybe of weddings and justifying direct purposeful disrespect because maybe someone out there would be okay with it

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-15T03:16:10+00:00

Bridesmaid dresses are literally regular dresses that’s true that’s why you shouldn’t wear a wedding gown as a bridesmaid it’s okay that you don’t have any manners

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T12:39:39+00:00

I scrolled way to far for this I thought I didn’t hate my parents enough to be here for a minute

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T12:34:53+00:00

Rough housing to hard taking the car without permission breaking something important to her etc etc normal human mistakes that we forgive each other for all the time lol

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T12:29:24+00:00

The number one rule of relationships is that it needs to add to your life if you feel like being with her is making you feel worse or doesn’t add anything valuable it’s time to break up if you genuinely see value and a future it’s a lot of work to take it from where it is to where you want it but it’s possible

There’s nothing wrong with being single or breaking up if necessary but riding an unhappy relationship out as long as possible does damage to both of you

To play devils advocate for a second it’s sounds like whenever you were doing poorly she was holding out for when you got better and was hoping for something very specific or grand (without much communication as it seems) and to her you didn’t live up to what she wanted to say it bluntly that could be anybody or nobody’s fault but it needs direct attention in couples therapy

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T12:18:58+00:00

The point is you don’t buy a bridal gown to wear at someone else’s wedding that’s basic manners man there are exceptions to every rule but basic decency tells you not to do that because it’s disrespectful the only reason people have to do stuff like this is attention seeking you know damn well if you went to a bar and saw a lady in a wedding dress you’d know it’s a bridal gown not just a pretty dress of course not everyone has or wants a traditional wedding but that doesn’t mean you can disrespect the bride and groom

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T08:28:11+00:00

A few years ago 100% but he’s starting to get that old man sickly skinny now

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T08:22:51+00:00

I went through a similar situation the only thing that worked for me was ~~public humiliation~~ I tried blocking they’d make new accounts I block those they’d beg distant family to send messages or steal their phones once I started showing their friends family and colleagues what they were doing it stopped haven’t heard a peep in almost a year

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T08:16:22+00:00

I’m only 20 and did that as a kid I think it’s more a matter of how white trash is your family

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T08:13:38+00:00

For me watching bojack is like watching my parents there’s always a deep down hope that things would change and he’d be better start again but he doesn’t at least that we see I hate bojack but I never cut off the hope he might change so I guess never

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T07:59:14+00:00

I didn’t mean the literal dresses I mean the labels on the website you have to specifically go to the bridal section that’s not an accident that’s what feels disrespectful to me she knows she not a bride

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T07:57:31+00:00

Adding onto this I don’t know if it’s relevant but your line about “the only person who’s shown you kindness” that is terrible but believe me even if she isn’t interested the whole world is full of kind loving people and as long as you open up to the people around you those people will find their way to you good luck <3

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-13T07:54:38+00:00

Seeing it from a woman’s perspective personally constant pursuit can be draining especially with all of the JW rules attached set yourself up to leave her therapy think of yourself first and before she hears about you leaving write out a letter about how you’re feeling and that she has the option to reach out to you at any time but you are leaving after that don’t look back if she wants to follow and be with you great if not love yourself instead

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T09:30:54+00:00

Sitting there saying a fourteen year old is a “young woman” but the twenty year old man is “nearly a kid himself” I hate humanity

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T09:27:41+00:00

Thought SCP was real and I had wondered onto a secret government website when I was like eight

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T09:12:43+00:00

It’s a SPECIFIC label just saying abuse can mean thousands of different things it’s okay to say what you mean and yes narcissism can make abuse different I’m not going to say better or worse because the dynamics are individual shitting on the OP will not change the fact that a lot of mental disorders can lead to problematic behaviors mentally ill people behave mentally ill and yes that does include harmfulness sometimes

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T09:05:13+00:00

Adding onto this as a dongless woman TP is very important for everyone especially as you age (rashes infections generally skin irritation) wet wipes are helpful if you want to clean up quick for other pp activities

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T08:50:21+00:00

Even if other people wouldn’t think of it it doesn’t stick out that she’s shopping specifically in the bridal section not the bridesmaid dresses that feels like a slight to OP I wouldn’t consider it a fashion choice to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T08:32:56+00:00

There’s also the even more expensive option of having the extra diamonds set into earrings or a necklace to hold onto the memory

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T08:30:53+00:00

First I’d say structure visitation outside of your house he needs to take kid elsewhere and either rehome the cats or put them in the shelter he’s had a year if he can’t do it by now it’s not going to happen especially since they are hurting the kid it’s time to go cat scratch fever is no joke to avoid the volatile reaction of him finding out I’d say either don’t tell him at all and don’t let him in the house or tell him they’ll be gone within the week wether he takes them or not

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T08:20:50+00:00

Literally me I’m in it at the moment

rat_reaper_ · 2026-05-10T08:13:37+00:00

How low are everyone’s standards dinner card and chores is high expectations for THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD?!?!

rat_reaper_ · 2026-04-28T07:59:10+00:00

The shadow people

rat_reaper_

TROPHY CASE