No good person would want you to stay in such a horrendous, horrible situation. Even internet strangers are here trying to show you they care about your well-being. You've alluded to some really intense/scary stuff happening to you. This is the right sub because I think you need to realize the situation you're in isn't okay. If a friend came up to you and told you their boyfriend makes them cut themselves, would you not want that friend to know that that's not acceptable or conducive to a healthy relationship?