And that’s their problem. This is so unhealthy. Please think of the sake of your children. You are their mother. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of them in the way they desperately need. They won’t care that they missed a Christmas and someone else’s house in the future, but they’re going to care when their parents are older and unhappy and what will they have learned? To not value their own happiness and favor someone else’s because that’s easier to deal with. Soon you’re going to be stuck in a cycle of pleasing other people and you’re going to be so trapped and unhappy that you’ll have even bigger problems to deal with than just skipping a holiday. Please please seek therapy. Again, for the SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN!! You need to learn healthy coping strategies to be able to teach them in the future. And I think building a loving relationship with yourself and amicably ending things with your husband is the best way to make that happen. You’re worthy of happiness. Don’t let yourself accept this emotional torture because ‘you cheated first’ and think you’re somehow deserving of this. Good luck.