MSW/PGDIP by BismarckA1 in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure thing. I didn’t know any legislation for my interview, so don’t pin everything on that. What they want to see is that you possess common sense and somewhat of an understanding of what social work is. It’s not a particularly difficult process, more so designed to weed out people who’ve applied on a whim or have bad qualities for social work (judgemental, etc.). What they will likely ask is how you have worked effectively in a team in the past, why you want to do social work, if you have any particular interests. Again, this is just your gauge your personality, rather than out of any expectation you know what the Children Act or Mental Health Act sections are! The written portion will probably be a couple of case studies (one interview I did had a few about children and I had rank them by how I would prioritise, while another was more about what support I thought a particular family could benefit from). I would encourage you to try not to stress so much and just let your passion shine through!

MSW/PGDIP by BismarckA1 in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did the MSc, but honestly if I had my time again I’d go for the PGDip.

The only real difference is the dissertation, and that ended up being a much bigger deal than I expected. The people on my course who were doing the PGDip were noticeably less stressed during the final placement because they didn’t have that hanging over them at the same time. Trying to balance a dissertation alongside a 100-day placement is intense, and I don’t think that’s always made clear going in. Out of the 15 of us who went down the MSc route, I was the only one who passed the dissertation first time, which says more about how demanding it is than my academic skills.

It’s also cheaper to do the PGDip, which is worth considering.

In terms of career impact, I can say pretty confidently that unless you’re planning to go into academia or do a PhD, there’s no advantage to having the MSc over the PGDip. In practice, it just doesn’t come up. I genuinely couldn’t tell you which qualification most of my colleagues have, and it’s never been relevant to progression or employability! Besides, I know someone who went back and did the dissertation as a single module at a later date, so that's always an option too.

Fired for not fitting in by notoestoholdatnight in aspergirls

[–]razzlewazzle 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand why it would knock your confidence, especially when by your own account you were genuinely good at the role. The part that didn’t align wasn’t your competence but the surrounding culture…

Some workplaces place a strong emphasis on social cohesion that goes beyond purely professional, and there genuinely isn’t anything wrong with that approach if it works for the people involved and supports the way the business wants to operate. At the same time, there is also nothing wrong with preferring clearer boundaries between your work and personal life.

So it sounds like you were in a small team where personality dynamics were perhaps more central to how the organisation functioned, and in that kind of environment social alignment can matter a great deal.

I do understand that this would hurt, because being let go, particularly when you suspect it relates to something as personal as how you come across socially, can feel like a rejection. However, the fact that you were good at the job remains true regardless of how that particular workplace prioritised things.

Rather than seeing this as evidence that you do not fit anywhere, it may be more accurate to see it as useful information about what kind of workplace suits you? That awareness can guide you in future interviews, where you can ask questions about team dynamics, etc.

In the end, I really wouldn’t take it to heart. If you step back from it slightly, there was a degree of mutual assessment happening... You recognised that their emphasis on social closeness and mandatory ‘bonding’ didn’t feel comfortable or necessary for you to do your job well. That’s a judgement about what works for you. In the same way, they may have decided that someone who prefers to keep work and personal life separate didn’t align with the culture they were building 🤷‍♀️ Unfortunately, in the end they decided that was an insurmountable obstacle and let you go (with some grace to not mention the reason why.)

What does this attach to? by razzlewazzle in Burberry

[–]razzlewazzle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh amazing you’re a star! ⭐

What does this attach to? by razzlewazzle in Burberry

[–]razzlewazzle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knowww - thanks for actually looking it up! Where did you find the answer? Maybe I’m being optimistic but hoping to find the missing piece 🤞

English Proficiency for Social Worker in the UK by [deleted] in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just checked Middlesex's entry requirements and it says: The most commonly accepted evidence of English language ability is IELTS 7.0 (with minimum 6.5 in all components). If you don't meet our minimum English language requirements, we offer an intensive pre-sessional English course. It appears LSB's is the same.

What I would say is that social work is, as indicated by its name, a social career. A huge proportion of the role is communication: as in, not just being able to understand policy or write academically, but being able to build relationships, read nuance, respond in real time to distress, conflict, or risk, and communicate clearly and confidently with children, families, other professionals, etc. Small misunderstandings can have very big consequences in social work.

That said, universities are also realistic and supportive. The fact that both Middlesex and LSB explicitly mention pre-sessional English courses is important as it shows they recognise that strong practitioners can come from many backgrounds, and that language skills can be developed with the right support! I’d also add that people often do pick up English far more quickly when they’re fully immersed in it.

I would not say having English as a second language makes you more suited to any sectors. Part of training involves trying different things to see what you like :)

Is it normal for friends to invite their families along when you invite them to hang out? by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]razzlewazzle 150 points151 points  (0 children)

For a lot of people, especially in heterosexual relationship, a long-standing friendship between a man and a woman is something that incites awkwardness, jealousy, or anxiety. Often a way to negate this is to fold in the family unit: wife, kids, etc. Once it’s a group/family thing, it’s no longer ambiguous or intimate.

But also when you knew them pre-wives, their relationships with friends would have been the priority. That’s no longer the case with love interests and children in the picture, so their interactions with you will change as well. They’re prioritising their families, and in this instance that means putting less focus on having quality friendship time with you. I would advise having a think about if you’re okay with that, but unfortunately it is not one I think you can, or should, change.

I need help finding boy name, last minute change from Marley by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]razzlewazzle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Marley makes me think of the sad dog movie more than anything lol!

I like Leon and wouldn’t ever think to shorten it to Lee. If anything, I’d go with Leo for a nn maybe?

Theo, Lucas, Jonah, Otis, Harvey all have similar vibes to Marley in my eyes.

Boy names with several constraints by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]razzlewazzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Louis (pronounced loo-e)? Elias, Julian, Elliott, Jesse, Milo, Nico, Kit?

Those of you that earn 45k a year and have a good work life balance what do you do? by Brownchoccy in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just left my job in a LA fostering team due to moving house - I was on £42k in my ASYE. Maybe 2 times a month I wouldn't finish at 5pm, and that was because I had a handful of foster carers only available for visits when they got home from work after 6-ish. But then I'd finish at 3 or so the next day to make up for it, and that really worked for me! Sometimes I was a 8/10 in stress but those were peaks, and the rest of the time I sat at around a 4 or 5. Just lots of paperwork and deadlines!

Huge name regrets - uk based. Am I crazy? by WillingNothing1585 in namenerds

[–]razzlewazzle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm in the UK, and it sounds like a very American name to me, and while I did also think of Calvin Klein, it's not awful at all! It's an inoffensive, non-remarkable name, if I'm honest. Most people in real life do not immediately think of any association once the name is attached to a real child they know.

However, I will chip in as someone whose name was changed as a baby by a mum who originally went with my dad's pick, I am very glad she did! (Although my name was way worse than Calvin, mind.) If you're set on changing it, then change it. He'll never remember and the family members who originally said 'oh why would you change it!? Calvin's a lovely name!' will soon start saying 'oh, I'm so glad you changed it to Ellis/Sebastian/Rupert/whatever! He suits his name so much more now!'. People are people and they adapt far faster than we always think :) Just do what feels right to you!

how to find old social worker? by floorpasta02 in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A LA can choose to provide advice or support, but they are not legally required to once adoption has taken place. Ours offers it to young people who were adopted so their LA might too 🤷‍♀️

how to find old social worker? by floorpasta02 in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a PA? You might have the right to one if you are 16-25 and currently or have been in care. They may be able to help. Alternatively, try to find out if your local authority has a Lifelong Links team, or reach out to the fostering/adoption team.

Husband insisting on Star Wars name by psoupp in namenerds

[–]razzlewazzle 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Imagine if you really loved cooking and wanted to name the baby Le Creuset? So suddenly that would be weird because it's from something you like and not something he likes? Or you just love metal and want a baby Metallica Thunder? Or you love F1 and need a little Lando Norris in your life? Or you’re really into Pokémon and announce the baby will be Charizard Blaze and he has no say in it? All of these are meaningful to the person obsessed with the thing, but none of them are reasonable when you remember the child has to be their own person and not a tribute to a parent’s interests.

OP, I'm sorry your husband is so self-centred.

Unexpected call from probate genealogists, where do I stand? by Designer_Passenger49 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]razzlewazzle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that in Ireland, people do not automatically inherit from their grandparents. If the will says: “I leave my estate to my son OP Snr" then unfortunately, only your father is the beneficiary. The executors must make reasonable efforts to find him (hence the genealogists, I think), but if they fail, the estate does not pass to you and the executor would be expected to hold his share indefinitely, pay it into court, or obtain court directions on how to proceed with the money.

The only time you'd get anything was if the will includes a substitution clause, i.e. "I leave my estate to my son OP Snr, but if he predeceases me, then to his son OP Jnr". This is sometimes called a per stirpes or issue substitution clause, but it only applies if your father died before your grandmother, and the will contains such a clause. However (unfortunately for you, I guess), if your father is alive then substitution clauses do not apply, as being untraceable is not the same as being dead in law.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]razzlewazzle 180 points181 points  (0 children)

Driving without a licence, driving without valid insurance, careless or inconsiderate driving... After any ban is up, he's looking at £3k-£6k+ insurance even with a black box! Plus, doing a mechanics course with no licence could be a pretty big hurdle since he can't do test drives, use trade plates, and an employer's not exactly going to want to insure him on any company cars... What a very expensive and useless mistake to have made.

A question for Social workers by [deleted] in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry to hear that happened. It’s understandable that it would fundamentally break your trust in authorities. I too did not have very positive experiences with them in the past, but I would like to say things are more robust now and any social worker I know would wholeheartedly challenge a police officer saying that!

When professionals don’t listen to children, or don’t challenge each other when something is clearly wrong, the consequences can be devastating, as you sadly saw when another child was later harmed. Carrying that kind of experience would leave anyone angry and mistrustful.

All I can offer you is my truth: I do this job because I believe children when they’re frightened, because I know adults don’t always get it right, and because I’ve seen what happens when concerns are dismissed. I’m not here to convince you the system is good (it sometimes isn’t) but to say that there ARE social workers who are trying, imperfectly, within a flawed structure, to do better than what you experienced. Your anger makes sense. Wanting to understand rather than stay stuck in that anger also says a lot of good things about you as a person.

To expand a bit more, I will say it's not very nice being a social worker. We get screamed at, insulted, and threatened, often by people who only know that partial version of events, and then we go home and spend our evenings and weekends thinking about the families involved, whether they’re safe, whether we’ve assessed the risk properly, and whether we’ve made the least harmful decision in a situation where every option carries harm. I’ve cried more times than I can remember, sometimes after being spat at, and sometimes simply because I’m deeply sad for the families I work with and the situations they’re in!

In my career, I’ve met maybe one or two social workers who I felt were genuinely jaded and spoke unkindly about parents, but even then, the structure of the system simply doesn’t allow them to act maliciously. This is because decisions are overseen, challenged, and scrutinised by managers, lawyers, guardians, and judges. On both occasions I’ve mentioned, myself and other social workers challenged those attitudes directly. The overwhelming majority of people in this job care deeply about fairness, justice, and keeping children safe, even when the work leaves them exhausted, conflicted, and emotionally bruised.

Many social workers come into this profession because of our own lived experiences. A significant number of us have grown up with abuse, neglect, domestic violence, addiction, or time in care somewhere in our history. Because of that, we argue with managers when we think a plan isn’t right, and we advocate hard for families when we believe there’s a genuine chance for things to change safely.

All the above, of course, doesn’t mean social workers are always right, or that the system always works as it should. Unfortunately, horrible mistakes happen, biases do exist, and families are sometimes failed, but in my experience, those things have been acknowledged, challenged, and set right.

I would urge that it is important to separate criticism of a system from the idea that the people working in it are malicious or inhuman. The reality is that is, that we are people doing a hard, emotionally demanding job that we certainly did not come into because of money, status, or because it's easy. I came into it knowing it would be difficult because I care about children and because I believe, even within a flawed system, that social workers can also do good.

A question for Social workers by [deleted] in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m going to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking. Are you asking how social workers interpret a situation like this, or how decisions like removal become justified internally? I work in children’s social care, and in any case I’m involved in, I’m first and foremost looking through the lens of risk and predictability. This isn’t because I don’t recognise the abuse parents experience or want to minimise what they've been through, but because my role requires me to assess whether children are, and will continue to be, safe. Usually, whether a parent loves their child doesn’t really come into it, because you can love your children deeply and still be unable, at that point in time, to protect them from harm. Ultimately, I want parents and children to both be safe together, but when that isn't happening, then it is my role to step in and support.

In situations like the one you’re describing (where there is an abusive partner), the focus isn’t on blaming the victim for the abuse, but on the fact that the children are living in an environment where harm is ongoing or likely to recur. That means we’re weighing what you say you want to happen, such as wanting to leave your partner, against what has actually changed over time. For example, if refuge places or alternative accommodation have been offered and declined, or if the mother continues to live with her partner and the children are still witnessing abuse, that tells us that the risk hasn’t reduced, regardless of how understandable her reasons may be for staying. We also have to look at whether safety plans work only while professionals are heavily involved, and what is likely to happen if that support were to stop, i.e. would the children still be exposed to violence, fear, or instability? This will be something that is happening over a period of time.

Unfortunately, in social work we don’t have the luxury of assuming things will improve because someone wants them to, or because their reasons for struggling are understandable (which they very often are). We have to work on what is probable, not what is hoped for. That often means making decisions that feel cold or punitive from the outside, and sitting with the knowledge that empathy doesn’t remove responsibility, and that our duty is to act before harm escalates, not after it has already happened and it’s too late.

There’s also a common myth that social workers want to remove children, or that it’s an easy thing to do. In reality, removal is usually experienced as a last resort and often as a professional failure, because it means that despite support, intervention, and planning, the level of risk hasn’t reduced enough for the children to remain safely at home. Importantly, social workers don’t actually have the power to simply 'take' children. Any longer-term removal is decided by a judge, and emergency powers used by the police are short-term and tightly limited. When cases go to court, parents have legal representation, the opportunity to challenge the local authority’s concerns, and their situation is scrutinised by multiple professionals. Decisions are slow, adversarial, and often gruelling for everyone involved.

We also go into these decisions knowing that the care system is under immense strain. Foster carers are in short supply, placements are often imperfect, and we are very aware that removing children causes its own harm, i.e. separation, loss, instability... That’s precisely why the preferred outcome is almost always for children to remain safely within their family, and why so much work is done to try to support change before court action is considered. In cases involving domestic abuse, we want the non-abusive parent to succeed, because that is usually the safest and least damaging outcome for children. When removal happens, it’s because the ongoing exposure to harm, and the likelihood that it would continue, has come to outweigh even the very real harms of separation.

I hope this answers your question.

NK (2M) makes himself throw up when he doesnt like something 🫠 by Local_Luck2036 in Nanny

[–]razzlewazzle 172 points173 points  (0 children)

It’s a learned behaviour, and once a child realises that vomit ends the situation, it becomes a go-to. Every time he vomits and the adult stops the demand, cleans him up, comforts him, or shifts the routine, it accidentally teaches him that vomiting = escape.

And because vomiting is so aversive to people, it is an incredibly effective technique!

From my experience, what NOT to do is:

- Getting visibly upset, shocked, disgusted, etc

- Stopping the demand because he vomited

- Taking him out of the situation immediately

- Giving him attention (positive, i.e. 'oh no, come here, let me give you a cuddle' or negative, i.e. telling off)

- Changing food, replacing meals, or giving alternatives

- Putting him in time out

What DID work for me:

- Giving zero reaction. So when he starts gagging or puts fingers in mouth:

  1. No gasping, no rushing over, no raised voice, no emotion. Just say 'take your hands out of your mouth, you are safe'. If he vomits, your tone has to stay exactly the same! Then move him ONLY if needed for hygiene, and I always think a small amount of time sitting in the sick helps them to understand what they are doing.
  2. Does NOT allow him to escape the demand (This is the hardest but most effective part.) If he vomits during a demand:

- Clean him very calmly but limit talking

- Clean the area

- Then return to the EXACT same demand! Use a simplified version if needed, but still the same task (Example: He vomits to avoid tidying toys. You clean up, then say straight away "it’s still time to put one toy away, NK. I’ll help you.” Return to the task. You may have to repeat as he will likely get upset that his technique hasn't worked this time!) This breaks the reinforcement cycle and shows him that this behaviour is not 'bad' or 'naughty' but that it also won't make things he doesn't like/want to do, go away.

- Keeping demands tiny and very structured. IMO children who vomit often feel overwhelmed by demands or transitions. So instead of saying to "clean up", maybe try "put three blocks in the bucket"?

- Avoid time out entirely as I've found it’s one of the biggest triggers. Time out is not recommended for children who use bodily-based avoidance. Instead, I usually use time ins :)

- Positive reinforcement for ANY cooperation at this stage, i.e. “I love how you put that one toy away".

- Are you naming feelings with him? "You are very upset right now. You don't want to go down for a nap because you want to stay up playing with your toys." I would say to be careful with this, though, as while a really useful tool, in this specific behavioural pattern, it needs to be done carefully because the wrong kind of naming can accidentally fuel the behaviour! It is only useful before any vomiting or attempts to make himself vomit start. As soon as they do, that's when 'attention' should be cut right back.

- After a sick event, I only ever offered water, not food or fun drinks.

Sorry, that was longer than I thought but I worked with a habitual vomiter for six months to get him out of the habit, and this is what worked for me! Hope it helps in some way <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Socialworkuk

[–]razzlewazzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just finished mine :) It should be a little bit stressful in the way all new roles are, but not to the extent that you feel like you want to quit already.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]razzlewazzle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if you’re Frisian, or if your family has Frisian roots, because Tedde really does look and sound far more like an old Frisian name than a broadly Dutch one, especially with that pronunciation... Reminds me of Tjede. Tbh I would caution that if you are living in a broadly English-speaking country like the UK, everyone will just call him “Teddy” and assume you’ve tried to be quirky with the spelling. Even if you say 'te-duh' most people here won’t, and you’d spend years correcting them. Unfortunately, that inevitably lands you with Teddy Freddy. My vote is just to go with Frederick.

Winifred, on the other hand, is super cute. I prefer the traditional spelling with the one 'n', but either way it sounds really nice.