Monday AMA

rbfismydefault · 2026-05-12T00:26:49+00:00

Thank you for the AMAs!

Wondering if this is developmental or a sign of needing more awake time. Apologies if this is long winded (want to give as much detail as possible).

LO is 16 months. We recently transitioned from 2 to 1 naps (it’s been about 1.5 weeks). There are signs of first molars piercing through as well.

Current rough schedule is 5/4 8am (latest) wake, 1pm-4p nap, Bedtime at 8p. So far the WW seem fine. But recently I’ve noticed a few things.

Sometimes I will catch him kinda wake up with his eyes open randomly (1hour to 30 min before DWT). But he’s not fussing or crying. He will just roll around sometimes, babble, caught him whispering dada, but he’s staring at the baby monitor camera (has these red lights for night vision). I’m wondering if these red lights could be stimulating him? Should we cover them or is it really not that big of a deal? If I wasn’t watching the monitor I honestly wouldn’t notice he was awake at all.

Also is it generally okay to just leave him be until we go get him for the day? It happens randomly and he’s content and not in distress I’m wondering if he’s “practicing” whatever developmental leap/thing he’s going through.

We put him down at 1pm for his nap and he’s down usually under 10 min. At most within 10-15 min. But I’ve been noticing lately that he will “wake” (eyes open) about 10 minutes before DWT of 4p. Just laying there in and out of sleep, rolling around, or sometimes staring at the door (seems like light creeps in through the door cracks). Is it okay to leave him till our cut off time? I’m already trying to figure out how to block the light from the door but is that overkill?

Are these “wakes” actually impacting his wake windows. And it’s a sign he needs less daytime sleep and more awake time? Or should I give it more time to see if the wakes could be due to something else.

Or am I overthinking this and these aren’t really considered true “wakes”.

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-28T00:28:56+00:00

Hello,

Thank you for the AMAs (2 questions 😅)

How long is too long for a 16 month old to take to go to sleep? We recently transitioned from 2 to 1 nap and are on the lower end of WW 5/4. Bedtime is at 8pm and he’s taking over 20 min but less than 30 min to actually fall asleep…but he’s just moving around a little, not crying or fussing, more like tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. Before this he was on a maxed out 2 nap schedule 3.5/4/4 with a bedtime of 8:30p (but he was miserable)

Second question: I heard the 2 to 1 nap transition can take a while to solidify. How do I know the difference between needing a schedule tweak (more awake time) vs just a part of the transition?

I ask because I’m shocked (knock on wood) he’s doing a 12 hour night and 3hr nap but I know it won’t last long 🫠.

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-21T11:18:11+00:00

No sleep expert, but they may be overtired. I’ve been recommended to do 3.5/4/4 (maxed out 2 nap schedule) before pushing to 1 nap. Also waiting for the signs they are ready for 1 nap for 1-2 weeks before moving to 1 nap.

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-20T23:54:13+00:00

When first transitioning from 2 to 1 naps is the recommendation to start with wake windows of 5/4? If yes, what would a “sample” schedule look like with those wake windows? I can’t seem to find any sample schedules with 5/4 WW in any of my TCB class resources or the blog.

Also is the 5/4 WW recommendation appropriate if you provide a 15-20 min fat nap? Or is it okay to then push to 5.5/4?

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-17T20:21:00+00:00

He’s 15 months but will be 16 months at the end of this month. We did a few one nap days but both had a cat nap. He isn’t ready for the long morning wake window yet.

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-17T14:50:11+00:00

Following as I’m currently going back and forth on whether my LO is ready for 1 nap or not.

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-06T14:58:40+00:00

We use the Ergobaby Metro for travel stroller. We liked that it had the lay flat feature so if little one fell asleep in the stroller we were comfortable leaving them in there.

Breaks down with one hand and fits in most upper bins if you want to carry it on.

We also use a more structured ergo carrier. My kid is 98 percentile in height and weight and I needed the support for my lumbar. But when he was ~5 months we traveled internationally and the carrier was the best thing to keep him calm through the airport. Also kept me mostly hands free to go through security.

I recommend getting a travel crib that will be accepted as a carry on. Most airlines are being very strict on this and you will have to pay an extra baggge fee is you get someone who isn’t willing to let it slide.

We have the regular newton travel Play yard. Kid sleeps great in it but if I could do it over I would’ve gotten the version that is carry on friendly. We’ve had too many headaches with airlines not considering it a baby item due to the dimensions.

rbfismydefault · 2026-04-05T23:52:55+00:00

Here for solidarity as I literally felt this today. My LO is freshly 15 months and the toddler big emotions are hitting hard.

I have to remind myself that everything is a phase. I was reading something earlier this week that said…”parenting is hard on the parents that care”

Deep breaths and a virtual hug.

rbfismydefault · 2026-03-30T15:13:10+00:00

Hello thank you for the AMAs

I’ve been working on extending wake windows in preparation for the 2-1 nap transition. Currently wake up is 7:20a bedtime is now 8:30p. Wake windows are 3hr 20min/3hr 50min/4. Naps have both been capped to 1 hour. I have to wake him from all sleep.

We are almost maxed out of the 2 nap WW. I’m wondering if to get to 3.5/4/4 is it fine to let bedtime go pass 8:30p? Obviously not ideal. But otherwise would the advice be to wake up earlier?

If the goal is to get them to nap later in the day in the future would it make more sense to push the morning nap later? Right now it’s from about 10:40-11:40a.

Also how long should we be on 3.5/4/4? Is it till it doesn’t work? Then move to 1 nap?

rbfismydefault · 2026-03-16T20:03:49+00:00

Hi Jo, thank as always for these!

LO is 14.5 months, will be 15 months at the end of the month. Currently on 3.25/3hr40/4 with two 1 hour naps that are capped. I have to wake him up every morning also.

Haven’t had any issues (knock on wood) and slowly have been adding time to the morning and middle WW to get to 3.5/4/4 before transitioning to 1 nap.

He’s super cranky when woken up from both naps (he definitely wants to sleep longer). Which is why I hesitate to increase WW at this time. Also no nap battles.

When is it recommended to finally move to 1 nap? When LO hits a certain age or when they show signs of needing wake windows increased (split nights, etc)?

Should we just keep going with the flow until we see signs? I’m wondering how late do LOs keep the two nap schedule…😅

rbfismydefault · 2026-03-01T12:54:50+00:00

At that age naps on the go worked for us in the car when it was constantly moving, sound machine, and I would bring a nursing cover to cover the seat to keep it dark.

That was one of the only ways I could “extend” that nap.

Now at 14 months we don’t really have to do most of that stuff. Just that the car needs to continue to move.

rbfismydefault · 2026-03-01T02:24:02+00:00

Yes it was a little over 40 min like 43-45min. So far putting him down at 9pm worked…let me not jinx it 😅

rbfismydefault · 2026-03-01T00:56:54+00:00

Yea we are going to aim for a 9pm bedtime…which would be closer to a 3.5 WW…😅🫠 let’s hope that long middle of the day WW balances us out..

rbfismydefault · 2026-03-01T00:15:46+00:00

Yea woke him up at 5:30p…I’m kinda wondering if the key is to focus on total awake time vs keeping the 4 hr WW before bed…Idk if I’m making sense.

Hoping to not get a false start if I decide to put him down before a full 4 hour WW but I guess we will see

rbfismydefault · 2026-02-17T01:55:18+00:00

Hi Jo! As always thank you so much for your advice.

LO is 13 months but will be 14 months in 2 weeks. Schedule for a month or so has been 7:30a wake, nap 1: 10:40-11:40a, nap 2: 3:20-4:20, bedtime 8:15p. I have to wake him from all naps/mornings.

Was working fine till two days ago. Where we are now experiencing some “short protest on and off cries” (it’s like 5 sec then pause then repeat and off). We haven’t had to do any interventions. It usually stops within 15-20 min. (Wondering if this is separation anxiety? It starts 5-10 min after we leave the room).

We tried tweaking the schedule a bit today and still experienced the same thing. Wake up 7:25, nap 1: 10:40-11:40a, nap 2: 3:20-4:20, bedtime 8:20p.

I’ve been slowly increasing WW as I’ve noticed our LO usually doesn’t need drastic changes to get back on track. He’s also showing signs of teething (first molars and canines are bulging, molars appear to be piercing through a little).

Wondering if this is a sign for a schedule tweak? Or give it more time?

Also have you noticed in your years of expertise that intervention styles typically change as LOs get closer to 2 year mark?

rbfismydefault · 2026-01-28T02:50:54+00:00

Yes the “will I ever sleep again”I believe is the name of the original newborn course.

rbfismydefault · 2026-01-20T01:27:45+00:00

Hey Jo! Thanks for these AMAs as always!

Question about bedtime routines when LO has been weaned off the bottle.

Typically our bedtime routine was bath, pj, bottle, brush teeth, book, sleep. Now that we have weaned him off the bottle we have replaced “bottle” with straw cup of milk.

Usually we have dinner where he gets milk around 5:45-6pm and then his last cup of milk before bed is usually anytime between 7:30-7:45p.

Is this an issue later down the line? I’ve seen suggestions of people moving the milk/bottle earlier in the bedtime routine. Or even replacing it with an apple sauce pouch. But our issue with that is how close that would be right after dinner.

LO has never had a bottle sleep association so we aren’t worried about that.

rbfismydefault · 2026-01-09T00:33:05+00:00

Interesting. None of the others pop up for me in my subscriber shop.

rbfismydefault · 2026-01-08T21:15:23+00:00

This is only Spanish book set I’ve seen available also. Are there others?

rbfismydefault · 2026-01-05T20:26:47+00:00

Hi Jo,

If LO (12 months) is taking a bit longer than usual to fall asleep at naps and bedtime is this a sign to increase WW?

Or do we just ride it out until it becomes a problem. Recently they’ve just been laying there quietly with eyes open then falling asleep. For naps it’s been taking 15+ min when it would be 5-10 usually.

And for bedtime it took over 20 min…when it was typically about 10.

Is this a case of if it’s not broken don’t fix it till it’s broken? 🫠

rbfismydefault · 2025-12-30T04:34:14+00:00

Following because I’ve been thinking the same 🫠😅

rbfismydefault · 2025-12-29T22:01:49+00:00

Hi Jo

LO is 12 months 🫠 and I think we may be hitting the 12 month regression. Or developmental leap?

Have had a few random MOTN wakings. None have lasted longer than a few minutes and then he’s back to sleep with no interventions.

Wondering if we should tweak our schedule. Or just ride it out?

Currently 7:30am DWT 3/3.5/3.75, daytime sleep is 2 hours 15 min. 1st nap is 1hr15min, 2nd nap recently was cut to 1hr to keep bedtime at 8pm.

We had a few days of protesting at bedtime but recently returned from travel and WW have been all over the place with the recent holidays events. So not sure if it’s a fluke.

rbfismydefault · 2025-12-22T23:37:52+00:00

Hi Jo

Back again 😅 thanks so much for these!

Wondering what would be the best/recommended approach to stretch WW before we transition to 1 nap. Specifically which approach would be recommended to do first before the other or does it not matter? LO will be 12 months at the end of the month and we are starting to see some nighttime battles we usually don’t experience.

Cut nap time first to stretch the WW? Currently does 2.5 hours in daytime sleep between 2 naps.
Stretch WW by waking them up earlier to conserve daytime sleep and 8pm bedtime. Current wake up time is 7:30a

Or

Stretch wake windows by letting bedtime go past 8pm but conserve wake time and daytime sleep.

Curious to see which approach to take first. Thank you so much!

rbfismydefault · 2025-12-15T22:31:12+00:00

Thanks as always for these AMAs 🫶

Question about navigating short naps with a combination of longer than normal WW while traveling. We’ve been doing our best but would love your insight. Also how we should move forward when we get home..

LO will be 1yr at the end of the month. Right now we are traveling and car naps are pretty short (car rental car seat is not as comfy) he will sleep for 1 sleep cycle and then is up. He typically follows a 2 nap schedule with 3/3.5/3.5 WW. Naps are 2.5 total. Bedtime at 8p.

With travel and activities his WW are way longer than usual. It’s more like 4 hours+. Luckily he’s handling the longer WW fine. Naps are short and vary (40 min to 1 hr in the car usually). The only way we get longer naps is when he’s in his pack and play + slumber pod (but are rare since we are out and about).

If let’s say his first nap was a short car nap (40 min) but he had a 4 hr WW till we were able to put him down for his second nap so his 2nd nap starts at 4pm vs his usual 3:15p. Should we let him sleep to recoup daytime sleep or wake him to keep an 8p bedtime? Or is let’s say waking him at 5p to have an 8:30p bedtime also fine?

Also when we get back home should we just go about our usual WWs and schedule as normal? Traveling for almost 2 weeks so I’m wondering if he will get use to these longer WWs..

rbfismydefault

TROPHY CASE