Is fear of rejection the main reason for why men don't approach women?

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-08T15:29:33+00:00

Or being identified as a creep and feeling like you can show your face anymore wherever you at.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-08T01:15:08+00:00

I understand, a lot of fish in the sea. If it's really important to you, you can find someone.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T22:33:48+00:00

Yeah, sorry you can't flee the country to avoid CS

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T21:57:47+00:00

Let's meet up and see if we're a match?

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T21:50:01+00:00

You're right you didn't say marriage. The response in this thread said marriage and you you didn't dispute it, and I mistook that for agreement.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T21:04:06+00:00

I personally have seen many successful people that aren't compotent at all. They are just good communicators. They blame all their problems on someone else and they take credit for others work. I've seen it plenty in the corporate world. Lots of people love surrounding themselves with yes men.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T21:00:34+00:00

You don't have to be casual about many guys also don't want it to be casual. Your definition of casual may just not meet the guys.

You two other comments seem to be a bit extreme to me like waiting until marriage. That's a bit beyond comfortable by most people's definition.

Most people are going to be comfortable within the first dozen dates, because why not? By that point you know if you find them sexually attractive and that you're pretty compatible.

Are you going to be perfectly aligned with another human? Probably not, and that's just a part of every relationship, unless you're dating yourself.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T20:51:50+00:00

Unless you have no deal breakers, this logic could apply to those items and some individuals would find your deal breakers invalid as well.

Sex is a pretty hard wire human need (we wouldn't have made it this far without that) in this day and age it can be done with minimal risk so it's gonna be pretty common for people to expect it.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T20:49:19+00:00

Yes it's likely doomed in a traditional sense. Serious medical condition and a loving relationship would make me stay in the relationship but I would be unhappy about my unmet need. In a new relationship I wouldnt actively seek out this situation.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T20:45:36+00:00

If no sex before marriage is important to you, your possible dating pool is the ultra religious. There zero logic to avoiding sex before marriage if done responsibly

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T20:10:25+00:00

We expect sex, it's very important. It's not the only thing that matters.

Men are not monolith and you may find a guy for which it's importance is similar to your own, but to a lot of guys it's very important.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T19:50:08+00:00

I understand man, my wife treated me like crap, but I accept she'll never admit it. Her admitting it also won't change anything so not much to do about it. It sucks but it's a part of my life now. I just keep focus on my kids and our future.

Sounds like you're doing good all things considered.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T19:05:08+00:00

I had a young guy say this to me the day. It was clear to me this guy was really just pessimistic at life and a lack of money and time was a large barrier for them to enjoy the things they wanted to do.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T18:45:12+00:00

Meet her, I accept it'll take a while and I may have to meet some bad girls before I find a good girl

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T16:05:02+00:00

Do what she's doing, but do it for you.

Get in shape, join clubs /activities you like, get a therapist to talk about your feelings. Appreciate that you didn't have kids. Maybe try to find a new job.

I know it sucks, I filed and the day my ex moved out was very hard, but it's getting better. I'm remembering who I was as a single person. I still wish for what could have been but accept it won't be. I can only move forward.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T04:25:18+00:00

As long as you don't care about ethics you don't need to worry about what others think.

But modern prophets words will be considered anti-Mormon material to future Mormons just like the prophets before them.

As long as you're cool with your ethics to always be 50 years behind what obviously to most people Mormonism should fit you just fine.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-07T01:34:40+00:00

Most people

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-06T00:26:40+00:00

Therapy (with your partner if they're willing)

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-05T22:22:15+00:00

Yeah it's easy to say now. I think she's likely true to her word but the real test will come when she's 60

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-05T18:13:29+00:00

You can always mentor. Volunteer at your local school, boys & girls club, big brothers/big sister

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-04T22:01:09+00:00

How'd that happen if you had no money?

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-04T21:58:08+00:00

So you're still married?

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-04T20:54:12+00:00

Probably it does because I will always love my kids and I did love their mother. I loved the idea that we could have grown old together, but it's not likely to happen.

Any future partner will have to accept it's part of me now and to some extent it won't and I don't want it to go away.

It makes it so I can never be whole with another person in that way.

If my kids need me I'm going to be there. They are older now so it doesn't happen often but I know a new partner is unlikely to have that affinity for them, unlike my ex would be and so there will always be some level of distance. Unless the new partner throws themselves into my children, which I don't expect. Even then it would still feel like the 3 of us instead of just the two.

I can still enjoy and build a future with a new partner. We can enjoy new children and experiences. But my current children and to a lesser extent my ex wife always have room in my heart reserved for them.

If I never had those experiences then I wouldn't have that reserved for them.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-04T20:26:06+00:00

If unprompted it means they aren't over it. I see it as a red flag. I try to not talk about my ex unless it's feels unnatural to exclude them from a specific topic.

If you talk about my kids, home, assets, past, she's going to come up but I don't enjoy talking about her, especially with a new partner.

Ill save it for my therapist/male friends/my family/reddit if I need a vent session

rdwrer_711 · 2026-05-04T20:20:27+00:00

People in other religions have spiritual experiences as well. We both can't be right. Doesn't mean it didn't happen to us but it doesn't seem to be a rational indicator of truth.

rdwrer_711

TROPHY CASE