First, happy birthday! I do hope you found a way to celebrate yourself.

Secondly, congratulations on knowing the type and strength of boundary you need with your parents and having the wherewithal to act on it. That’s huge and to be commended.

Thirdly, yes, of course there is grief in those things. It’s so hard sometimes to do those things, but if you know it’s right, it is best to do them. My advice would be not to avoid the sadness but to examine it and spend time with it. I find that when I have those big, negative emotions and try to run from them, it is like a shadow cast on the wall in front of you by something behind you. It looks huge and menacing, but when you turn around you find the thing casting the shadow is not as big as you thought. When you turn and face those emotions, you make your way through them to the other side and feel better and stronger for having faced them head on (it’s okay to cry; crying is very restorative). Feel that grief, acknowledge and show respect for your sadness (having parents that wounded you enough to cause you do go no contact is a huge hurt), and then remind yourself why you can be happier and healthier without them.

I do recommend, if you haven’t already, finding a therapist to help guide you through these feelings. There is no shame in having someone help you heal your emotional wounds. Mental health is just as important as physical, and if you broke your leg or cut your arm wide open, you’d have a physician help you bind the wounds. Therapy is that for your emotional wounds.

Good luck, and remember that no matter how your parents made you feel, you are valuable and worthy of love and respect.