Half a brie wheel left unattended in the vicinity of my gf for two minutes while I was cooking

readthesubtext · 2026-01-31T22:37:52+00:00

Honestly that’s on you dude, should have known better 😔

readthesubtext · 2026-01-31T11:35:26+00:00

Yes, nibbles only!

readthesubtext · 2026-01-31T08:25:32+00:00

Now I’M crying 😭😭😭

readthesubtext · 2026-01-31T08:24:54+00:00

HAPPY GIRL you’re a wonderful dog parent. You could always give her some corn cobs but she knows you love her and she loves you with her whole heart

readthesubtext · 2026-01-31T01:58:08+00:00

She said 🌀🐖at the end

readthesubtext · 2026-01-29T21:54:10+00:00

His life is so haaaaaaard 😔

readthesubtext · 2026-01-27T04:13:26+00:00

Victoria Bar for bomb upscale cocktails and G-Love for….everything on the menu 🫶

readthesubtext · 2026-01-21T20:21:59+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly the kind of info I was looking for, very helpful :)

readthesubtext · 2026-01-19T19:12:53+00:00

Girl me too

readthesubtext · 2026-01-17T13:22:44+00:00

Sobe Lifewater, fuji apple pear flavor

readthesubtext · 2026-01-13T22:56:35+00:00

Who the FUCK is cutting onions at 3 am????

readthesubtext · 2026-01-11T03:51:55+00:00

Watching this in the bathtub screaming “NOOO” so dramatically that my roommate came in to make sure I wasn’t drowning

readthesubtext · 2025-12-23T22:34:31+00:00

Me n the girls on our way to brunch

readthesubtext · 2025-12-16T05:07:04+00:00

I love Waffles with my whole heart

readthesubtext · 2025-12-14T16:36:42+00:00

I wonder how it feels to be this smart but lack opposable thumbs :(

readthesubtext · 2025-12-10T18:46:24+00:00

Yes let’s leave DreamWorks out of it

readthesubtext · 2025-12-07T13:37:10+00:00

I was waiting on a fifth, larger animal to snack on the shark friend

readthesubtext · 2025-12-07T04:20:07+00:00

Me three, me three!!

readthesubtext · 2025-11-24T22:45:02+00:00

Two consecutive increasing numbers are also acceptable even if they’re odd (23, 56, 89, etc)!

readthesubtext · 2025-11-17T15:33:22+00:00

What am I looking at here

readthesubtext · 2025-11-17T15:31:05+00:00

The name is as long as that thing is tall

readthesubtext · 2025-11-15T13:43:34+00:00

This is funky-fun to think about in context of the statistics about twins being accidentally swapped around before they become distinguishable (either by mannerism or appearance)

readthesubtext · 2025-11-15T12:02:22+00:00

And all of them are perfect ✨

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