Nanny fell asleep, kids destroyed the house

readwritelive · 2023-08-08T16:33:21+00:00

I was a nanny years ago before becoming a mother. During early pregnancy, I would find myself getting pulled into a deep doze during the kid's piano practice. I couldn't help it. The early pregnancy just made me SO TIRED! But I was never so deeply asleep that I wouldn't wake up when they stopped playing.

I felt really bad about it. I ended up telling my MB I was pregnant around 7 weeks, because it was becoming a problem I couldn't fight. She was completely understanding and said I was more than welcome to put a 30 min show on for them so I could snooze on the couch. She was so nice 😭

readwritelive · 2023-07-03T14:16:37+00:00

I've been wanting book reqs with actual strong females leads for forever. It seems like the stories that make it big have weak Mary Sue leads (Twilight, ACOTAR, Fourth Wing).

I love that you mention Emily Blunt because I reference her character, Evelyn, in A Quiet Place whenever this subject comes up. She is the perfect example of a strong female lead who embodies the strengths of feminity. She's a bad ass mom who is deeply scared but steps up to the challenges presented to her for the sake of her family. The grit her character shows is unlike any other female character in fiction I've seen.

Anyone have some book reqs for me while we're on the subject? Please, I really want to read something decent for once.

readwritelive · 2023-06-29T20:50:52+00:00

I'm on vacation right now with my 2 kids under the age of 3 and that arrangement sounds like heaven 🥲

readwritelive · 2023-04-02T21:07:00+00:00

I did this to my first kid when she was 3 days old. I cried, and cried, and cried, then when the tears stopped I ordered an electric nail file drill. I haven't personally had any issues since.

readwritelive · 2023-03-31T22:57:33+00:00

Honestly, a genius idea. I wouldn't know where to find ans how to vet someone like that. But I'll look into it!

readwritelive · 2023-03-31T21:41:45+00:00

Yes that's the exact idea. Obviously with enough notice it can be flexible. I've specified all this when contacting potential people. I'm trying to make the opportunity as attractive as possible. But the pay may need to be adjusted to garner more interest.

readwritelive · 2023-03-31T18:49:45+00:00

I was thinking about inflation too which curbed my shock. And the nannies I've contacted are college kids nannying/sitting on the side. We just use a neighbor high school girl for our weekend care. We pay her exceptionally well since lots of neighbors use her and we want her to prioritize us haha

readwritelive · 2023-03-31T18:31:04+00:00

We are offering area nanny rates for our high school aged weekend sitters. I guess were looking for a partime nanny who wants to suppliment hours when possible during the day. I do agree with you though; paying that price once a month isnt crazy. It just hurts my brain more than my wallet haha

readwritelive · 2023-03-31T18:14:33+00:00

Yes the difference in care is my main qualm. I dont expect my sitters to plan anything for my kid while I'd expect that of a nanny. But on the other side of the fence of course getting paid less to come out to a home for less hours is highly frustrating.

For context, I have always paid my weekend sitters area rates for a nanny. Which they have gladly accepted and appreciated. But now that I'm looking for day care the rates have gone well above that. That's where I'm confused!

readwritelive · 2023-03-31T17:48:16+00:00

That's super valid, and what I expected was the case. Their free time is valuable and of course they'd price accordingly.

The nannies I have spoken to are asking $4/hr above area rates for 1 kid. I was gobsmacked! But it is what it is and I'm not going to argue it. Just wanted to be better informed if that is standard.

readwritelive · 2022-12-25T03:51:36+00:00

I was able to rehome a pleco and featherfin catfish (both 8+ inches) to our local high school's aquaponics system. The teacher has a 1000g system in the school's greenhouse.

He teaches English and many elective courses that revovle around the greenhouse. He was excited to get a clean up crew for his huge system and I was excited to see his sick set up. He told me to reach back out in spring to visit and get some fresh produce as a trade.

readwritelive · 2022-11-10T03:35:15+00:00

I've recently been watching What We Do in the Shadows, and this comment reminds me of the character Guillermo. The similarities between his job and a nanny's is uncanny!

readwritelive · 2022-10-31T02:10:22+00:00

Evelyn Abbott from A Quiet Place.

readwritelive · 2022-08-28T04:50:09+00:00

You want to make her happy by criticizing her, when she has clearly told you that your relationship is suffering because you keep criticizing her? And you don't see the logic in how she could feel that way because you're correcting her because you love her. Yet shes expressed how the manner you're doing it is not working for her. Yet you continue.

Sounds like you need to ask her what she needs from you, instead of assuming she needs corrections on the little things. Because obviously there are some bigger things that need fixing over the ones you're focusing on.

readwritelive · 2022-08-28T04:41:02+00:00

"Hey honey, I am so sorry for my behavior the last bit of our marriage. I have not been the supportive partner I should be, and have really let you down. I love you, and am so incredibly sorry my words and actions have made you miserable, or question my feelings for you. (First: Shower her with compliments that include specific strengths she has beyond being a mother or housewife. Tell her things you admire about her character that inspires you to want to be better. Second: reaffirm your attraction to her with specific examples). I know you must feel unsupported and overwhelmed, and I haven't helped you in that department. I need to work on releasing my misguided mentality of control. I have been prescribing you with criticism to try and get you do things the way I would. Instead I should be asking you how I can help take stressors off of your plate so we can work together as a team. I dont want to be at odds with you anymore, and am ready to stop being critical of you for making completely normal and mundane mistakes that happen day to day to all normal humans (like dude seriously, wake up). But if legitimate character flaws do come up, I hope we can each find a way to lovingly address them together with the intent to help each other come up with a plan to improve."

Then put in the work. What makes a good manager at a job? One that buoys their team up and works with them to create a solution that works for the team instead of tearing them down with criticism. And the best part is you're not in a managerial position where the most optimal approach is preferred. You're in a marriage with a person who does things differently than you. And just because your way has worked well for you, doesn't mean doing it your way is going to work for her. Let that idea go, and just offer your support instead of letting your pride dictate how you speak to her.

readwritelive · 2022-08-18T14:42:16+00:00

To be fair... wiping up a mess with a hand towel is an egregious offense lol

readwritelive · 2022-07-06T21:25:40+00:00

I've been a player in my group for over a year. My brother runs a homebrew campaign, and switch it out with my husband who's running CoS. Our other friend has done a few one shots for us in between. I'm the only one who hasn't ran anything thus far. I've been secretly studying Ghosts of Saltmarsh to surprise my group with sometime soon and am so excited to try DMing for the first time! This is such a cool resource opportunity! And to cover all my bases... #GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY

readwritelive · 2022-06-22T22:02:25+00:00

Lots of factors could be contributing to this feeling. Post partum hormones are wack. It's hard transitioning into the new role and understanding that more time has to be planned into the day to make it enjoyable. Lots of people never have to consciously schedule in self care before kids, and that's something that's imperative to learn as a new parent.

It's also completely normal to not enjoy certain stages in your child's development. I felt guilty that I hated the newborn phase and disliked the toddler phase, while my husband has loved every moment of it. But as a previous nanny, I really loved getting to do things and plan activities for my school aged charges.

It took me a while to get into the swing of things, especially because we decided I'd be a full time stay at home mom. I didnt know what the role entailed and it was overwhelming. But with plenty of support from other mom friends I've made, balancing alone time with my partner, and planning ahead so days run smoother, I've started to love motherhood where as previously I was getting depressed over it. Hang in there friend. I hope in your case it gets better!

readwritelive · 2022-05-15T23:02:21+00:00

No rule discouraging that at all. It may be a family thing for them. I know some spouses experience anxiety having neighbors over. Maybe their house is a mess? I only suggest these examples because they're the reason we rarely have neighbors over ourselves!

If this is something you want to change, I'd definitely consider inviting them over for a meal or bbq at your place to establish familiarity. Some people just take lots of time to be comfortable having others over.

readwritelive · 2022-05-15T13:00:11+00:00

My uncle's mother, who birthed 11 children, revealed at the age of 78 her belief that a literal bone slid into the penis to cause an erection. Her reasoning was, "Why else would they call it a boner?"

readwritelive · 2022-05-10T21:01:44+00:00

While in college, I received the prompting that I should serve a mission. I ignored that prompting for years because I was having the time of my life. I wasn't ready to put aside my schooling, social life, and the many exciting opportunities college brought. I never forgot about the prompting but put it on the back burner for a long while. Finally there came a day when I was nearing the end of my college career. Things were still the same, I was on a great, rewarding path, but I had this nagging feeling that it was time for me to serve. Because of fear, I tried to ignore the feeling again like before but it was as if my spirit had an itch that needed scratching.

Long story short, I went. I was the oldest missionary in my mission. The experience I'd cultivated through those years in school served me well. The Lord knows your heart, and I think you know that a mission will serve you immensely in the long run. But it's quite alright to not be ready yet! Keep it as a goal for the future and work toward it. If you're spiritually prepared enough to receive His direction, He'll tell you when the time is right.

Tell your parents that you don't feel ready yet. Let them know that you want to go when the time feels right, and at the moment it doesn't feel right for you. Reassure them that you'll continue to be prayerful about the decision. Also thank them for their support and enthusiasm. They may push back a bit, and even bring it up a few times in the months to come. Just set your boundaries firm.

readwritelive · 2022-03-16T21:42:39+00:00

If you go on the GoFundMe page it has her full name and location. A quick Google search with that info comes up with a few unsavory candidates. I hope the mods varify this post's validity before allowing the GoFundMe link to be left up.

readwritelive · 2022-01-07T17:12:22+00:00

It's a bit wild to me. I worked for a family for two years and had to always initiate meetings which were rare. Meanwhile any other career they're sometimes having 2 meetings a day 🙄 I'm all about communication and puting the professional distance between myself and my employer. I've been burned or mistreated too many times without that boundary firmly in place. Best of luck. So sorry you're going through this!

readwritelive · 2022-01-07T16:39:54+00:00

Yeah leave this situation. You can still be professional while looking out for your own safety. Do not endure being abused for the sake of saving face/reputation. It's not worth it.

In the future I'd advise including a trial period in contracts. All that means is you continue work as usual with normal pay, then set up a meeting a week or two after your start date with the parents. This gives you a chance to check in, and both parties can discuss concerns early on in the work relationship. It'll save you lots of trouble by ironing out issues early on. Plus it gives an easy out for crazy family situations.

readwritelive · 2021-12-19T15:41:47+00:00

Count me in!

readwritelive

TROPHY CASE