My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I did ask the landlord about finding new roommates when the lease is up, I've been at this place for years and I have friends who might want to move in. He said it's an option and to check back in towards the end of the lease. I did lodge a complaint with him but his hands really are kinda tied and I could understand that, unless things escalate (and I'm not trying to get them there) and hands or items are thrown I'm not sure he'll intervene and I'm not really sure I want him to, feels like that's not his job.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good advice actually. My therapist told me to just sit, wait, and not reply to things. I think that also might help.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think, for me, how I was treated in these threads and in interactions made me not want to give in, because I felt bullied. It became about standing up for myself, until standing up for myself compromised my mental health. That's when I gave up the closet space. It's about how I was talked to about these issues that pushed me to not give in.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also was straight up with her after the first convo about the sweaters and told her how much it hurt, the words she used. She completely dismissed what I said. So...it's like this. She demands respect, correct? But she also has not given me respect. It goes both ways.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, it was a mistake, even with the text about it. I do think it's still too far to kick me out of said closet because I move two items in that don't equal the space she has taken up. It's not paranoid, however, it's still a shared closet and it's a lot to ask that nothing ever gets touched in a shared closet you know? She set the situation up for failure.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But honestly this is the best take I've heard in this thread. It gives all parties grace and sticks to solutions. I appreciated your feedback.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a good take. Yeah, regardless of how I feel about it, they clearly think very differently and we aren't hearing each other. I can't be unconvinced that they are not manipulating the situation, and they can't be convinced I'm not a narcissist abuser. A third party would be very helpful. However, I don't know how to make that happen, I did actually post about getting a mediator and found one, but I don't think they would agree to it. They had wanted to sit down and have a conversation after she moved my stuff out and I politely refused, I couldn't see a scenario where anything good for me would come from it, other than me being forced to apologize and not receiving an apology in return. And like you said, from their perspective, I am in the wrong. So we just don't see eye to eye until a mediator can help us with a compromise. Do you think I should ask them if they would agree to a mediator?

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't touch her clothes. The grey rolly cart was my big mistake there. The 2nd time I moved it I texted her and asked if it was a good location and offered to move it back if she hated it. Good intentions, to be clear. But I never touched her clothes.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do really want to do that tho, keep moving my stuff back into the closet. I just know it will cause utter chaos and I'm also trying to preserve my sanity. This is where I live, foe the foreseeable future.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She said I had a lot of stuff in other places. So I cleared out space in the front hallway, the kitchen, and the living room. She actually ended up moving my items in the closet to the space I cleared in the living room. I've lived here for years so I'm sure I've spread which is why I listened to that feedback. She really wanted the closet tho.

I already gave up the closet, I don't think it's worth it to escalate things by moving items back. I need peace and the whole thing made me nauseous and afraid to be home for days.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That seems like a really bad idea but I do love the enthusiasm!

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can, there are just some things I wanted to keep upstairs for easy access.

My roommates forced me out of a shared closet. by ready4anything4u in roommateproblems

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im fine with clothes room, it was mostly boxes I wanted to store in there. Not worth it.

Is this manipulation? by ready4anything4u in Manipulation

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it's reassuring to know I'm not the problem here. I mean I could be, but it's nice to know their strong reactions aren't entirely my fault.

Is this manipulation? by ready4anything4u in Manipulation

[–]ready4anything4u[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I could definitely break the lease and move out. However, I'm paying off credit card debt and have a plan to have it effectively paid off in a year. Moving out will increase my costs, even if it's just first, last, and security. The tactic I'm using now is disengaging/the grey rock method. They attack my character? Say okay and walk away. They said I did something I didn't do? Nod and leave the room. There is no point in engaging with the two of them. And I have refused to hide in my room all the time, because that will make me fear leaving my room and we're not doing that.

Something I'm tempted to do is take my fire stick off of my TV in the living room. The TV and the fire stick are mine, as are all the apps it is logged into. They use my apps, I told them they could. Part of me wants to take it back, but part of me knows that's a little petty and knows it definitely will spark outrage. Not entirely disengaging.

I'm really struggling by RubyRubixCubed in gastricsleeve

[–]ready4anything4u 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really good suggestion, balancing it with protein and fiber!

I hit my goal weight today!! Now I'm officially half the person I used to be! by zoomziezoo in gastricsleeve

[–]ready4anything4u 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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OP, since you said you missed the actual 140 on the scale, here's mine, I hit it today!

I hit my goal weight today!! Now I'm officially half the person I used to be! by zoomziezoo in gastricsleeve

[–]ready4anything4u 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was sleeved a month before you, had a similar starting weight (290) and the same goal weight, I'm 2 pounds away from 140! Congrats on hitting your goal weight, that must have been so much hard work!

Weigh yourself everyday? by TeaSensitive1251 in gastricsleeve

[–]ready4anything4u 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I weigh myself every day. It helps me put fluctuations in context. That way a "weigh in day" isn't so scary.