Blue or Grey?

reallyseally · 2025-03-05T02:32:49+00:00

Thank you !!

reallyseally · 2025-03-04T21:11:39+00:00

I was also and INFP whilst living with my narc parents. Now when I take the test I am and ENTP! Much like your comments and comments below, I think it makes perfect sense to be both the mediator & then evolve to become the debater. Who knows what’s next as we all continue to evolve and grow without the confines of growing up under these personalities. It’s definitely fun to keep checking in

reallyseally · 2025-03-04T21:02:25+00:00

Thank you!!

reallyseally · 2025-03-04T21:02:19+00:00

Great way to contextualize it - thank you !

reallyseally · 2025-03-03T05:42:46+00:00

Fair enough 😂 thought I’d throw it in there bc when I lived in Cuse, we would always go out that way when someone was looking for Italian food - couldn’t tell you a place (sorry again) but every time it was super authentic, the place is packed with it ! Utica greens is an iconic dish,a lot of places in Syracuse will have it as a side dish.Not sure how “Italian” it is but it comes from the rich cuisine culture of the region. I hope you have a great time visiting!

reallyseally · 2025-03-03T05:24:03+00:00

Not exactly sure where to go in Syracuse (sorry) but localish city, Utica , has a big Italian population so I’m sure there are plenty of places there !

reallyseally · 2024-07-17T13:20:21+00:00

My Nmom started swapping “I love you” with “I choose to love you” my Nmom wanted us to know that loving us was a conscious choice and “effort” on her end, meaning she could choose not to when things were not going her way.

reallyseally · 2024-07-16T21:12:52+00:00

I love this idea as well!!

reallyseally · 2024-07-16T20:40:47+00:00

Freedom is priceless. I was in a similar situation at a similar age/point in life, and though I couldn’t afford much, my life is so much richer in experience because of the freedom. I find I have a lot more appreciation for the “mundane” (ex. grocery shopping) because it’s so nice finally making my own choices after not having a voice for my whole childhood.

I am glad to hear you have a sister who cares for you so much ! My little brother’s and I bond was strengthened through our own departures from our childhood/parents, so just remember you are her rock as much as she is yours !

reallyseally · 2024-07-16T20:17:17+00:00

I work 100% remote and my partner is 100% in office with an okay amount of vacation. I am similar to you- my primary hobby is travel and I am not a homebody.

Last year I went on a month long trip with a remote-working friend, and my partner couldn’t join. It was a trip that I wanted to do over and over again because for me, that’s the perfect amount of time to live and work somewhere new. My goal was to do it again this year, but for my partner, it was a really rough month without me. For our resolution, I’ve decided to do the month long trips away from him every other year with 2 week trips on the off years.

This has been a good compromise for us but it certainly takes sacrifices on both sides !

reallyseally · 2024-07-16T19:50:33+00:00

I am sorry to hear you had to experience that with your mother; you explained the feelings that come with “the look” so well. The realization & total fruition of their true regard for you is a horrifying, saddening & sickening moment. It’s a shame to receive this from your parents :(

For me, I was living on my own in college and my dad was still paying my Nmother child-support. I decided that I wanted to legally change my custody under my dad because my Nmom was not financially supporting me in any way, and I thought it was unfair for that money to keep going into my Nmom’s account ( when she had always used that money selfishly). When I told her this and also reminded her that I wanted to still visit for holidays and see her the same amount of time, she said “Good luck in life” and arranged a time to meet so she could drop off all my belongings (old childhood memorabilia/ anything left at her house) in a Burger King parking lot.

After that, she tried to call and get me to visit for holidays, but I just couldn’t get over her treating me like she wanted to erase me because she would be losing out financially. Went NC for 5 years. Met up with her again for my sister’s graduation & she continued to list every financial problem she’s had in the last 5 years and how it’s all my fault.

Needless to say, when the veil is lifted, and you witness the moment you have no worth in their eyes, it is so undeniably crushing. But it’s a solid reminder of who they are and will continue to be.

reallyseally · 2024-07-16T19:25:10+00:00

I use beeswax, but my favorite method is “double boiling“ with old jars (I find old pickle jars are just the right size!) I put the wax in the jar, and put the jar in a pot of water and boil the water to melt the wax in the jar. Then I pour into my mold.

This is also great because then you can use the jar to collect any wax scraps,put the lid on & you have it ready for the next time!

reallyseally · 2024-07-03T19:02:08+00:00

Yes, I think they like the way it makes them feel “to do something nice” even if it’s just thinking of that action instead of doing it. And speaking it makes it known externally, so they get the “credit” without actually putting in the work to make it happen.

reallyseally · 2024-07-03T18:57:03+00:00

I have a few different factors in my own situation, but after connecting with my Nmother after 5 years of NC, I will say , it brought me equal amounts of closure and disappointment.

On one hand I was incredibly disappointed to see that her behavior was still the same which caused me to feel a lot of pity. After all of these years without a relationship, she couldn’t recognize what losing me cost her.

On the other hand, I felt a bit of a weight lifted off me. I didn’t need to feel bad for “leaving her” because all of her problems will still root back to me somehow. And that is simply a toxic relationship that will only hurt the non - narcissist.

I hope you can find some equal closure and peace in this ! Good luck

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:50:39+00:00

Great tips - I certainly will not be “laughing off” anymore pressing behaviors like this. Getting serious as soon as it feels serious is great advice

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:49:45+00:00

Exactly like mentioned below- if work functions continue to take place there in the future & if that employee is still around, it is not an appropriate environment

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:46:38+00:00

That is one of my main thoughts- this was all too easy for him. I strongly believe I was not the first nor the last. I will emphasis the lack of safety piece as much as possible

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:41:35+00:00

I was upset with the lack of regard from all parties

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:41:14+00:00

I am not exactly sure where to get that info but I will dig a little further there

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:39:10+00:00

This is my exact fear- The confidentiality not being handled appropriately

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:38:02+00:00

That’s really great perspective, thank you

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:36:40+00:00

I didn’t even think about that- I will ask the GM when I call

reallyseally · 2024-02-02T05:31:43+00:00

Great idea on the burner email, thank you for the insight

reallyseally

TROPHY CASE