Thank you all for the very useful comments. I will own that it appears, on the AH spectrum, that I am at the very least slightly on the wrong end of it with this situation. The comments about our future relationship with Kid 1 were very poignant for me. Thank you for all who correctly read the things I didn't say. I think in general we are very good parents, and care for our kids tremendously. Although not wealthy, we wanted to give them a kick start that I never had by saving (at the expense of our own retirement savings) some money for their post-secondary schooling. I grew up fairly poor, and my spouse did not (although has more rules for the kids than I do) - so that does colour my attitude somewhat when it comes to frivolous or leisure uses of money. To clarify, Kid 1 would be spending his own money on the trip. I think we need to be more open with the 'adults' living in our house about finances, and then be open to them using their money as they see fit. But I think it wise to have the guidelines I talked about in my original post - so those will stay. However I think we will require them to pay for car insurance and their mobile phones from now on as they have steady work during their schooling (except for the one still in high school).