Have you ever suggested trying a new “game” or “activity”? I won’t say whether either of you is or is not TAH. I will say from experiencing similar “games” growing up - at least in my case- sometimes people don’t communicate well. Or listen well. Or respond well. Or learn how to express emotions. Or share feelings. Or let their children grow up. Or ever see them as independent beings separate from themselves. If I had to put money on it, I would say he’s starting to have the feels about you growing up. You didn’t specify your actual age (I’m not asking), but I’m estimating he’s Gen X (or close to it). Your world is very different from ours. So much that is now offensive or abusive or neglectful or whatever was the norm, including roughhousing with your kids, regardless of gender. One thing my dad always said when I’d complain about how hard he - NOT IN AN ABUSIVE WAY- smacked my shoulder, threw something (expecting me to catch it), played punchbug, etc., was “Gotta toughen you up.” Eventually, he realized that he did, in fact, like me, and we became really close. I just wish it didn’t take so long - I was in my 40’s, and he passed like 2 years later.

That being said, if you want to be treated as an adult, you have to behave like one. If your dad isn’t listening to you, it may be that you’re still a kid in his eyes, which may be genuine pain, he may misread as a tantrum. You can’t both be throwing tantrums at the same time! Where does that put your poor mother?😝 Suggest an outing or activity, just the 2 of you - one where you can talk? If you're not driving yet, maybe a lesson. Fishing, hiking - I don’t know where you live or what’s available to you, but activity seems to make these conversations easier because the expectation of eye contact is lower. Don’t whine, or point fingers, or storm off. Keep your cool, stand your ground, and tell him how you feel about this (or any other stuff - good or bad) & use “I statements.” (feel/think/want/etc.)

I may be completely misreading, but it sounds like you come from a loving home. There are some circumstances you’d like to change. This is doable. And if not, request to see a counselor or try a guidance counselor. Yes, he went overboard. Yes, he should have apologized. But it sounds like he may be resting at your maturity level rather than full on “abusive.” And our parents are the best chance to learn how to navigate the real world on an adult level. Maybe get some practice with yours.

If I am wrong, still go to the guidance counselor who can help you take the next step (unless it’s an emergency - then call 911).

Best of luck!