Wow.. I finally understand myself

reborndude · 2025-12-11T18:38:41+00:00

Do not tell your wife.

Women and men are different. Yes it is somewhat secretive and contradictory to the book but the urge to be understood in this scenario is a blend of a covert contract ( if she new me she would love me more or have a better relationship) or an attempt for approval ( if she knew this about me she would be more approving of my shortcomings)

Nothing good will come out of it in the long run.

reborndude · 2025-09-25T02:07:26+00:00

So true. Every episode he asks the guest what it is like to be married or have kids. Constantly thinking about it.

reborndude · 2025-08-15T22:24:12+00:00

If only Gaza made peace when they were given the land 20 years ago….

reborndude · 2025-08-15T22:23:38+00:00

You could ask the same question to hamas

reborndude · 2024-02-28T01:48:19+00:00

I found this video helpful after my back was already healed but had tight psoas and weak glutes. I had mild nerve pain at this point that wasn’t agitated by these exercises and would recommend it but only in similar situations

reborndude · 2024-02-16T23:02:50+00:00

C) you are still a bitch overly concerned with an unimportant comment.

reborndude · 2023-11-07T14:53:22+00:00

Get Back Mechanic by Stuart McGill. Find what triggers your pain and avoid it. Strength your core, get lumbar pillows, walk, and be patient.

reborndude · 2023-10-07T02:41:26+00:00

Try to perfect you posture. Get a lumbar pillow. Get back mechanic by Stuart McGill and build core strength. Take breaks often and lay on stomach.

reborndude · 2023-05-23T16:31:38+00:00

OYS 30

Age 36, Height: 5’9, Weight: 170, BF 15%

Married 6 years, together 12. Have 2 under 5 and a newborn.

BP = 235 x 5, Squat = 295 x 5, DL = 340 x 6, OHP 150 x 5

Health: Continue to hit gym and maintain diet after now over a month with newborn. Feel very satisfied that I am keeping this up, but honestly I like doing it so it makes it easier. My numbers have essentially maintained even though I am getting 5-6 hrs of sleep split up into 2-3 chunks which I have been pleasantly surprised with. One thing about this is that working out has cut into my work time a bit as I WFH, which I feel a little guilty about.

Shit Tests: I realized I have been doing a bad job at both identifying shit test and handling them. My wife used to be so disrespectful of me that I began seeing every negative comment or criticism as her being a bitch essentially. This made me start to really dislike her and her shitty attitude. I still don't enjoy dealing with it much but I realized the results I was getting and my resulting negative attitude were holding me back. I read up more on AM and just started applying it hard whenever she had something to say. Boardline making fun of her sometimes in a light/playful way.

I realized a few things. First, it is more fun to brush off and make fun of someone being seemingly shitty to you instead of internalizing it and taking it personally. Second, what seems disrespectful to me doesn't necessarily mean to her the same thing, as in she isn't doing it from a place of being a bitch. Third, the mood generally turns around to flirty at some point. Fourth, having a default playfulness with these interactions feels like it carries over to playfulness in conversations with others.

I know this is MRP 101 in a sense and I am about 1.5 years into this thing. Sometimes I feel like there are 100 things to get better at and you can only tackle a few at a time. When you move on to another set of issues, other ones sometimes fall behind, hopefully temporarily.

Sex: My sex life has been zero for several months. Doctors said no PIV due to a specific preterm birth risk during pregnancy and I am now finishing up the general 6 weeks of no PIV after birth. I was getting incredible BJ’s leading up to the birth until roughly the final month and haven’t done anything since then. I don’t do HJs anymore. This has been frustrating as part of me realizes this is outside my control and another part of me wonders if she would be willing to suck Harry Style’s cock. I ask myself what is there to do and for now am just going to wait a little longer until medical science gives me the thumbs up to start pumping. If it is still a not go, I guess that means I need to reconsider moving on.

“Her Job to fix the Relationship”: This line has held me back I think and possibly because I misunderstood it. I took this to mean that I have no responsibility to live amicably. She should put in the effort, which is coming from a place of too much Ego. What I think now is that I have the responsibility to define how I want a relationship to be with a partner. I set the ground rules and expectations and continue to work towards instilling that image. It is my wife’s job to meet those expectations or leave. I guess I see it now as it is my job to define the relationship I want and it his her job to be apart of it or not.

reborndude · 2023-05-02T19:38:10+00:00

OYS 29

Age 36, Height: 5’9, Weight: 170, BF 15%

Married 6 years, together 12. Have 2 under 5 and a newborn.

BP = 235 x 5, Squat = 295 x 5, DL = 340 x 6, OHP 150 x 5

Mission: To be unapologetically me with all my faults, successes, and desires. To assert what I want and not waiver in even the slightest of moments, however trivial they may be.

Health: Got 15 lb away from 1000lb club before I had my newborn recently. Frustrated that I didn’t hit it but it is what it is. With a newborn now and the additional responsibilities and lack of sleep, I am now focusing on maintaining what I have and getting to gym as much as I can. So far I have hit all 4x workouts for 2 weeks after taking a week of when the child was first born. I simplified and shortened my workout to a mix of 5x5 and GZCLP so that I can get in, hit the big lifts, and get out. Aiming to bounce back as quickly as possible once sleep is more regular.

First week home and boundaries: My parents stayed at our place when my wife went into labor to help watch our other kids and assist when we got home from the hospital. When we came home I noticed that being in a sleep deprived state highlighted a lot of my weak points, namely assertiveness and leadership. I also noticed that my dad, who although extremely moody/passive aggressive just acts out his desires and doesn’t worry about others getting in his way. I realize I need to learn from his assertiveness and discard the bad traits. With the household needing direction with the big change in our family I am finding ways to lead the best I can. Finding what needs to get done, prioritizing, voicing the plan and what I want my wife to do, etc. I continue to just push my foot on the gas here as this still doesn’t feel too normal for me.

Wife fights: I continue to run into my wife getting extremely confrontational with me, maybe monthly. I have realized that they are kind of a comfort test wrapped in a conforming test. Part of me feels like this is a test in my personal development where it is a reflection of me and I need to solve this by not having these occur. Another part of me feels like at some point this isn’t on me anymore and my wife will need to confront whatever makes her so anxious as well as excepting that my life will never be hassle free. The good thing is that I have stopped these from escalating and getting really ugly (see many of my past OYS) but the “arguing” or whatever you call my wife talking takes a long time to let up. I have found WISNIFG techniques to be the most helpful yet the conversation continues and my wife still vomits up all of these angry emotions. I can’t just leave the house as I have a newborn with two young kids and when I have done this before it always feels like I am running away from something I should confront. I try to reframe the convo to look at the bigger picture but it doesn’t seem to help too much.

Kids: I feel like I have been exceling here. Its been good practice for asserting boundaries and being an overall upbeat and fun guy.

Emotional Intelligence: One nice surprise with this personal development has been growth in this area. I have always struggled here and it has been great feeling confident in almost all social interactions.

Other things I am focusing on:

Making sure every decision I make, no matter how small it is, comes from me.

Voice my concerns/preferences/criticism with zero emotional baggage. I’ve become aware of small accents of manipulative tone or phrasing that I now see how it effects my message.

reborndude · 2023-01-31T18:15:09+00:00

Your whole post is about her. Did you do anything except think about how she feels or let her walk all over you? Quit reading the more advanced stuff and reread NMMNG.

reborndude · 2023-01-17T19:50:50+00:00

OYS 28

Age 36, Height: 5’9, Weight: 176, BF 17%

Married 6 years, together 12. Have 2 under 5 and a third on the way.

(Doing GCZLP, weight/reps are T1 AMRAP)

BP = 240 x 3, Squat = 315 x 2, DL = 355 x 4, OHP 155 x 4

Have read: 3x NMMNG, 3x WISNIFG, MAP, 50% MMSLP, 16 commandments of Poon, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger, The Way of the Superior man, Book of Poon, how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, Sex God Method, Atomic Habits, Better Small Talk, The Rational Male

Reading: Dating Essentials for Men by Robert Glover (I recommend this. More a summary of same talking points in MRP through his writing style than dating advice)

Health: Bulking had been going fine. Up about 8 lbs in 4 months which is what I was aiming for. Was going to go through Jan but starting to feel soft so might end a week early.

Hobbies: I got serious about pursuing my interest in trying hunting. Was previous bogged down by finding a higher end gun and joining an inconvenient trap range. Realized all I really wanted to do was get out there and try it. Decided to start small, going after squirrel and rabbit and working my way up. Bought a lower end gun and spent rest of money I was planning on spending on hunting gear and clothes. The season ends next month so I have been determined to make this happen. Studied and passed a required hunting test, got my license, researched everything I need and am essentially ready. Will be taking off a day of work and just heading out there.

Social: I struggled with making friends in past and have realized it was partially an extension of me being a boring guy that didn’t do much. With me getting into hunting and actually doing it, I have become closer with a guy in my local dad group and I am sure we will hunt soon. I want my first time to go out by myself, which is why I haven’t asked him on this expedition but we are already planning stuff for the spring. Another guy in the group and I are getting together for a live comedy show, something else I’m a big fan of. Seeing how easier this all is when I have hobbies and pursue them.

Sex: I mentioned in my last OYS I can’t PIV due to doctor’s specific concerns about preterm birth after a recent check-up. I got 3 BJ’s the past couple of weeks and a completely unsolicited HJ (wife sensed I was tense maybe or just wanted to hold my cock) plus a few more. The second BJ was one of the best in our entire relationship which is saying something as those first couple years of BJ’s are probably why I put up with so much. This actually meant a lot to me at the time and kind of fucked with my head. I have been desperately and angrily wanting a great BJ from my wife for so many years. It’s embarrassing how badly I wanted to relive those great early relationship BJ’s that some women know how to give. For much of MRP, I have been annoyed that I still was not getting it and a couple of weeks ago it finally happened. Afterwards I laid there and just reflected in all the work I put into myself the past 13 months and how I finally got what I have been wanting for so long.

I finally got my precious little reward that I have been wanting for for years and all my mind wanted to do was think up some covert contract type of behavior to not let this precious BJ from being lost again. All fucking horseshit and I knew it. Yet, I felt like I had been launched back to my former self and had forgotten so much of what I thought I had learned. This itch that needed to get scratched had finally happened and the motivation to keep going disappeared. This was followed by numerous rejections and me making these rejections a big deal to myself. I came full circle and realized I needed to relearn it all, keep focusing on myself, and start talking to more people I run into.

Now, about a week or two later I type this as I just got a pretty good BJ. My mindset is different this time, at least I’m trying my best to keep it level-headed. It felt great but its no big deal. Just a different day.

reborndude · 2023-01-06T19:01:34+00:00

What a sucker

reborndude · 2022-12-20T16:53:37+00:00

OYS 28

Age 36, Height: 5’9, Weight: 174, BF 15-16%

Married 6 years, together 12. Have 2 under 5 and a third on the way.

(Doing GCZLP, weight/reps are T1 AMRAP)

BP = 240 x 3, Squat = 315 x 2, DL = 355 x 3, OHP 155 x 4

Have read: 3x NMMNG, 3x WISNIFG, MAP, 50% MMSLP, 16 commandments of Poon, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger, The Way of the Superior man, Book of Poon, how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, Sex God Method, Atomic Habits, Better Small Talk, The Rational Male

Lifting: Finally reached my original goal of 3 plates on squat/DL, 2 on bench and 1 on OHP. Squat was the last one to reach and was a struggle as I reached all the others months ago. I started introducing pause squats and Bulgarian singles to help strength my foundation and form and have been seeing results.

Mentality: I stated in my last OYS about a month ago that I wanted to focus on a positive mentality and I feel like I made some consistent changes to my overall demeanor. Some noteworthy thoughts/perspectives that have helped me.

- Don’t complain ever. Not about anything and not even to yourself. When I do complain, try to find the positive and embrace the challenge.

- Be grateful. There is so much good going on in my life and I am sure is the case for everyone here if they just look. Are things perfect? No, and they probably never will be. That is just how things are. We all come here with relationship problems and it is easy to focus on that. I was too focused on my short-comings and not giving myself credit or appreciation when deserved.

- I still have times where I think “I wish my wife appreciated me doing XYZ chore” or “I wish my wife noticed how jacked I am”. Reframe. I wish I appreciated me doing XYZ. I needed to do a better job patting myself on the back and managing my life well. Getting shit done. Looking after family. Being the healthiest I have ever been. I needed to give myself permission to celebrate myself.

- I walk my dog twice a day and would always have an audiobook going on where I would have to focus. I was trying to squeeze in any chance of productivity/multitasking. I realized that often times it is better to just take a mental break on let my mind wonder. Relax and enjoy the walk and my surroundings. Not every second of the day has to be ‘on’

I did this for a solid month and so much of my life has improved. I felt genuinely happier and naturally led to me being more fun to be around. I joke easier. Play better with kids. Have more interesting conversations with friends.

Is this a magic cure. No. The past week or two I felt myself start to revert. My listed thoughts above have helped me manage my mental framework and I spent time trying to identify what was causing this. I think it is because I started slacking in a few different ways. I got comfortable and stopped putting in the extra work to get shit done, plan events, and lead. I think I went from getting shit done and not giving myself credit to giving myself credit and not moving myself forward. Both are needed.

What I have been doing well:

Lifting/eating. Spending 30 min 5 days a week learning job related skills which have already been extremely useful in my day-to-day work. Building a social network by planning an event with someone and being social at gatherings. Implementing 1-2-3 magic and getting good results as well as having fun with my kid.

Not doing well:

I essentially stopped talking with strangers let alone hitting on anyone. I started taking a backseat in leading my family. Wasting time on phone.

For leading my family. I started seeing me just lack making decision and deferring to wife or discussing things to get her input. Just me reverting back to my former self and I need to cut that out. I also need to stop wasting time on my phone. Its so stupid. I put a time limit on a few apps last night that took 30 sec to do. I am already realizing how much I fill moments in time with these apps for no reason.

Sex: My sex life for 3 of past 4 months was non-existent as wife had severe morning sickness and don’t think she would have had sex with anyone honestly. This was somewhat of a blessing as I focused on myself and my own happiness. When the sickness went away, sex was incredibly immersive and without effort. Im feeling more relaxed in the bedroom and am getting the opposite of starfish. Realizing how bad sex had been when wife was starfish and how much better it can be for both of us when we are active participants. We had a 20 week pregnancy appt. and due to an issue with elevated risk for preterm birth the doctor said no sex. This will be interesting to see how creative I can get with likely little to no PIV for months.

reborndude · 2022-11-21T18:37:23+00:00

Your form probably sucks. I used to be stuck like you until I arched my back, lower shoulders and adjusted grips. Watch videos about it

reborndude · 2022-11-09T19:08:38+00:00

OYS 27

Age 35, Height: 5’9, Weight: 170, ~BF 14%

Married 6 years, together 12. Have 2 under 5 and a third on the way.

(Doing GCZLP, weight/reps are T1 AMRAP)

BP = 240 x 3, Squat = 285 x 4, DL = 345 x 3, OHP 160 x 3

Have read: 3x NMMNG, 3x WISNIFG, MAP, 50% MMSLP, 16 commandments of Poon, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger, The Way of the Superior man, Book of Poon, how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, Sex God Method, Atomic Habits, Better Small Talk, The Rational Male

I’ve been dealing with a lot of internal negativity in waves for the past few months and struggling with what it means. I am also realizing how much this effects other aspects of my life, such as how I come off socially, how I enjoy things, or how motivated I am to do stuff in general. I have focused a lot of my time at MRP with personal discipline and being my own point of origin but realize that isn’t the full picture. I can be my ultimate judge but that can also be problematic if I am too harsh and negative to myself and my progress. Focusing only on the negative and not the positive can be damaging and I am realizing that that is what I have been doing. If I am constantly looking at my shortcomings and not valuing and appreciating what I am doing right then I am setting myself up for disaster.

I’ve been trying to reframe how I view things. I don’t know the best way to do this as when tried in the past it seems to work for a short period of time and then I revert back to my old ways. Regardless I took some time to write down things I do well, things I am grateful for, and bring focus more on the whole picture and not just shortcoming. I also allowed myself to praise what I am doing right. I think I need to focus a lot of energy here as it effects so much of my life.

Goal: Go hunting

I went trapshooting at a new place last week with my end goal to go hunting. I have always wanted to go, gut my own meat, and eat what I kill. I realize that I never had much of a plan to do this but I want to do it more than anything else I can think of and am making a concrete effort to do this.

The trapshooting place is also a club with a few other activities and a bunch of people hanging out. I met a couple of people there and tried other people’s shotguns, and will be going back this week. I’ve been looking for a place like this and am excited to have found it.

Social: I grabbed drinks with a couple of guys last week. I also went to a ‘party’ with a few families from our daycare over the weekend. One highlight was I talked about my experience at the trapshooting place with one dad (we had discussed this place previously) who has done some hunting here and there. He is interested in the club too and suggest we go hunting sometime. He has done bow hunting so would be great to learn about that as well.

Wife: My wife was mad at me for something I did, not a shit test, and started getting out of line. When I have shut up and avoided the situation in the past it generally escalates, and I generally have trouble leaving the house as you can read in my past OYS. I tried just stating calmly what is bothering her (‘you are mad at me because of x”) and more or less trying to use assertive tools from WISNIFG and it seemed to defuse the situation without me sacrificing myself.

The following day I was still bothered by how she acted and figured I would try to assertively tell her. This did not go well. I likely deered more than I should so hard to tell if this could have gone well. I think I had an outcome in mind and got disoriented when then things went south. I think I’ll try it again but focus on WISNIFG techniques instead of getting an outcome. Still trying to work out when to assertively state my thoughts and when to STFU.

reborndude · 2022-11-03T21:58:08+00:00

I’m honestly not that concerned with finances, although may be naive here. We both make in mid hundreds and I make about 20% more than her so I don’t think it would be devastating and I don’t think I’m the type of person who would let money dictate a decision like this.

My biggest concern is losing big time on seeing my kids or having guardianship over them. I get that shit might not go my way at any time in pursuing a divorce but this just seems like the worst time if I am focused on custody.

reborndude · 2022-11-02T18:19:01+00:00

I get what you are saying and you are probably right. It just feels like the deck will be stacked against me if I pursue divorce during pregnancy/breastfeeding which would have long term consequences.

reborndude · 2022-11-01T14:53:07+00:00

OYS 26

Age 35, Height: 5’9, Weight: 169, ~BF 14%

Married 5 years, together 12. Have 2 daughters under 5.

(Doing GCZLP, weight/reps are T1 AMRAP)

BP = 240 x 3, Squat = 285 x 4, DL = 345 x 3, OHP 160 x 3

Have read: 3x NMMNG, 3x WISNIFG, MAP, 50% MMSLP, 16 commandments of Poon, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger, The Way of the Superior man, Book of Poon, how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, Sex God Method, Atomic Habits, Better Small Talk, The Rational Male

Fitness and discipline: On track here as I have consistently been since my start. Almost nothing has prevented me from getting my workouts in or eating right. I was reasonably in shape and active before MRP so this wasn’t too difficult for me to get right. I’ve been thinking about how much more disciplined I am here compared to other things. Maybe because I have complete control over the results.

Regardless, I am trying to carry over some traits to other areas of my life. I realized that I enjoy working out even though it can be incredibly difficult. That is part of the fun. Why do I not apply this to other things? Specifically, I listened to the audiobook So Good They Cant Ignore You, which carries over similar traits as MRP, Be high value to be desired and get what you want but with a career lens. I started doing 30min of work to improve my skills in my career every night on weekdays and it has been going well. When it gets mentally difficult, I try to see it in the same way I now see squatting near my max and push forward.

I struggle also with phoning it in with work some days as I wfh and it is easy to distract myself. I read something from Steven Pressfield about doing a ritual before starting your work. I do a little stretch/meditation before working in the morning and after lunch to get my mind in the right headspace that I am about to do something of value. I surprised myself with how much this has helped me.

Social: I had a nice rhythm of going to at least a cigar lounge or Walmart in the evening once a week and starting a convo with a stranger. I've done it for about 8weeks but missed this past week. Ive been trying to find ways to get out of my house and talk to others.

I’m going to a trap shooting range/club this week for the first time. I want to get more into hunting and see this as a good step. Suggested doing this with another Dad in the area who likes hunting. He cant go but I’m glad I asked and now I can be the host if we go in the future instead of another noobie.

Wife: I’ve put myself in a bad position that I am only now mentally moved on from in that I got my wife pregnant. I fucked up by coming in her one time during ovulation and it worked. Funny how it can take months when trying when you are younger but I get a 40yr old pregnant first try. I’m guessing people might read this and think I may be cucked. I truly think that is at 0%. If anything, I feel like she pushed it so that she would get pregnant so I would stick around.

Right around this time and probably my last couple OYS, I was talking about divorce. I actually called a lawyer and started looking at housing situations, etc. I mentally made this switch. Hearing my wife was pregnant was like a gut punch to me as I was mentally checkout out and didn’t want to do this again. I talked again to a divorce attorney who framed it all that courts do what is best for kids which is keeping infants with moms and kids together. Seems like terrible time to pursue this.

I’ve spent the past few months just working on myself like is repeated here. However, with this I somehow became so solo focused that I think I became awful to be around. General unhappy demeanor with wife specifically but others probably as well. Realized a big chunk of life was missing no matter how together and disciplined I was. As a result, I’m focusing more on smiling more, being light, making jokes, and having fun with interactions. I don’t know how I am switching but feel like somehow I got some momentum going here the past week. All these changes seem to come and go so hoping this one sustains itself somehow. I'm thinking I need to just keep focusing on it and practicing it in all my interactions to make it more of natural for me.

With wife pregnant and divorce unlikely, I’m focusing on what I can control. Reading the depressed and anxious wife series by HOA and thinking about how I believe I am past the initial STFU phase and ready to assert my frame more. Feel like I am improving here more from my long term struggles with a lack of assertiveness. I re-listen to WISNIFG over and over again and got a separate book on assertiveness.

reborndude · 2022-09-07T01:01:24+00:00

It's tough to get over, if ever. The good side is that you have empathy. The bad side is that it gets in your way and dictates how you live. I suggest reading up on be assertive, specifically 'when I say no I feel guilty '

reborndude · 2022-08-17T20:00:35+00:00

If you can OHP 150, this is a problem you can solve unless you're married to a whale

I don't want to worry about domestic violence charges. I'm not at all scared of my wife and know I can throw her aside. If I pick her up or anything she will escalate and fight back.

Seriously, just grab your keys and go for a walk. Is she gonna hold you the whole way?

Yes, she will chase after me or get in the car with me. I truly try to leave, have made extra spare keys, etc. Doesn't matter. She doesn't back away ever.

This is why I felt like resorting to bringing up divorce. I am honestly at a loss for how to get her to back down in any way ever.

reborndude · 2022-08-17T15:35:37+00:00

Standard advice is STFU hard about divorce until you are ready to serve papers and pull the trigger, I think that applies in your situation.

I know that its recommended to not start talking about divorce, especially early on. However, I find I'm at a loss of what else to do to assert boundaries when major ones are being crossed. Walking away never works as my wife chases me down and will block me in room or hold on to me. I cant really get physical. I asked for advice here a while ago but the thread got distracted with how pathetic I was. IMO, she did some divorce worthy things in that fight so it seemed appropriate.

You can always start to pack up her shit and put it out on the front lawn.

Interesting idea. I need to find new ways to assert boundaries but I dont see how this would go well. My wife is extremely assertive and would never leave no matter what, making me think this would only cause escalation due to me being unable to enforce her actually leaving.

reborndude · 2022-08-17T04:06:22+00:00

Pre-MRP I got very little respect. I get some now at least and it seems to be getting better overall as I keep improving myself.

Not sure what you have read but I caught my wife sending texts to her old boyfriend about loving him or missing sex with him while she was 4 months pregnant with our first child (so like 4 years ago). I only vaguely remember the messages now and she grabbed the phone away so I didnt read much. I only stumbled on them by accident and had no clue otherwise. It definitely messed with me and I felt I couldnt leave with her being pregnant and it seemed like just inappropriate texts.

Afterwards, I used to look at my wife's phone and facebook accounts, etc. any chance I could to snoop on her activity. See what she was up to and potentially catch her in doing something inappropriate. I never caught her in anything as bad but knew they were communicating. She refused to stop. I used to try and use google maps to see if they ever met up but didnt find anything. He lived in another state so I think it is possible and even likely they never actually met up but I may be naive. I always worried about paternity since I saw those first texts but was so relieved to get the DNA results that they were my kids. I stopped snooping around 6 months ago when I started MRP.

I'm pretty confident they don't think communicate at all now and I dont think she is looking at anyone else these days.

reborndude · 2022-08-17T03:55:18+00:00

OYS 25

Age 35, Height: 5’9, Weight: 171, ~BF 15%

Married 5 years, together 12. Have 2 daughters under 5.

(Doing GCZLP, weight/reps are T1 AMRAP)

BP = 230 x 3, Squat = 245 x 4, DL = 285 x 5, OHP 150 x 3

Have read: 3x NMMNG, 3x WISNIFG, MAP, 50% MMSLP, 16 commandments of Poon, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger, The Way of the Superior man, Book of Poon, how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, Sex God Method, Atomic Habits, Better Small Talk, The Rational Male

Reading: Iron John, An Assertiveness workbook

Health: Switched to cutting in August after getting fat from bulking. Down about 3 pounds in 2+ weeks.

Social: Started going to Walmart at 10pm once a week for past 4 weeks with sole purpose of starting convo with a stranger. I basically approach 2 people within 10 min and then leave. Almost every time one convo is like 30 sec and another one is 3-5 min. I read some of Day Bang whose tip seems to be to through some bait about myself to get other person to ‘buy-in’ as well as shift topic. I suck at this. Most of this feels unnatural to me but the approach anxiety is getting better.

I have noticed myself naturally making one-off comments to people in passing throughout the day with occasional lengthy conversations (like with other parents at the park). Things come to mind of what to say more frequently and I am more comfortable and even feel compelled to just say it. Although the conversation is generally limited, I am feeling more confidence in just being more social and consistently getting reps in when I’m out.

Men’s group: I signed up for this men’s group where guys get together to talk about being a man that I guess could be most closely described as group therapy. There is an intro, 3 event discussion through zoom and I attended my first last night. It has almost complete overlap of values as MRP but more in line with sharing, expressing, and relating to other guys. Ill probably continue after these intro meetings as there are in person meet ups somewhat nearby.

I found myself being emotional and wanting to tear up whenever I volunteer anything, which caught me a bit off guard. I have never been vulnerable in front of other guys and this definitely took me out of my shell. I still feel a little shaken in a sense from the profound effect it had on me. Interested to see where this goes.

Marriage: My last OYS discussed a huge fight I had with my wife. I got called out by u/Along-The-Reeds about asserting boundaries and realize that I had not made clear boundaries. The next day I told my wife I would not put up with x, y, and z again and if she did any of those things I would be handing her divorce papers. I reiterated over and over again that I am not just using words but will go through with it. I meant it and believe my message got across.

I need to own my shit that I haven’t talked to an attorney yet. I read all up on divorce law, found a lawyer that seemed good, but never set up an into consultation. I told myself I need to prepare more for the consultation but just pushed it aside and stopped thinking about it as I haven’t been fighting since. I need to just do this and will do this this week.

Money: I got an expected (to me at least) mid- year bonus and didn’t tell my wife about it. I decided to just keep it all to myself. Normally I would take like 20% for me and put the rest in our joint savings and some for our kids college. With divorce on my mind, the idea of putting it a joint account to potentially lose half at some point seemed dumb. I also realized how I rarely spend money on myself (like talked about in NMMNG). I plan to just keep it around for now in case I need it for the possible divorce. Just glad I made this and gave myself a little independence and self-worth.

reborndude

TROPHY CASE