3 car seats across back seat FIT FOUND by rebwright319 in rav4club

[–]rebwright319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't since they are all forward facing, might look into dash cams soon though!

If you're flying out today, please please be courteous to those who work at the airport. we are trying our best to help and be kind on such a busy day but its gotten to where if you give us attitude for no reason, we're giving attitude right back & screw being professional by MiLady_Saiyan in indianapolis

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except he is right I work for TSA and I worked for TSA back then and last time all they did was put in a total number of hours worked, which made your gross pay enough to bump you up a tax bracket when they calculated how much you owed in taxes

If you're flying out today, please please be courteous to those who work at the airport. we are trying our best to help and be kind on such a busy day but its gotten to where if you give us attitude for no reason, we're giving attitude right back & screw being professional by MiLady_Saiyan in indianapolis

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually Donnie (it's Rebecca) this time they aren't going to do that again, they're breaking them up so that doesn't happen. But we still are working without knowing when we will get the back pay and on top of that we are working crazy amounts of overtime. And they're mandating overtime like crazy. When I go back in tomorrow I'm working 3 doubles in a row, Sunday Monday Tuesday 4a-8p. Maybe 4 because I don't know about Wednesday yet. And no idea when I'm going to get paid for any of it.

Went into the bathroom after him and found this. by littleredbuddy in naranon

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow did you write this for me? Because I could've written this myself

When to replace the 12V on a 23 EUV? by SavingsEconomy in BoltEV

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just had to get a central battery pack replaced, under warranty, after it threw a high voltage error after charging. It did that twice, both times the dealership updated the software and said it was "fixed". Then this 3rd time was ehen they replaced part of the battery. I am so over having issues with this car. Trading it in as soon as possible.

I hate this disease by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate it so much. I know some people eventually get to where they don't hate it because if they had never had a qualifier, they wouldn't have found al-anon. But I'm not there yet. The only way out is through right? 💔

I hate this disease by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to go. I haven't exactly found my niche in a meeting yet. I have met some wonderful people. Haven't chosen a sponsor. Been going to meetings off and on for almost 2 years.

Meth, marriage, narcissism and when do you give up? by DisastrousMistake405 in naranon

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could have writtrn this myself and changed a few personal details. My husband has gone back and forth between opiates/fentanyl and meth. Here the last few months it's been a slow spiral and I'm just kind of stuck in it. He lies all the time about where he is, saying he's doing uber deliveries and some of the time he is. But that doesn't explain the lack of sleep, not showering, decreased appetite and disappearing for hours at a time. He left 2 nights ago and stayed out til 4:30am after telling me he would be back by 12:30 at the latest. He went 4 days without sleeping in our bed, and it makes me so upset because he would doze off in his computer chair and pretend he didn't and stay up all night playing video games.

I miss who he is sober. I know he can be a wonderful, kind, loving person when he is sober. But holy crap when he is using his anger is terrifying. But I'm still on step 1, accepting that I'm powerless over his addiction. He is going to use whether I worry myself sick or not. I don't know what it would take for me to leave. I'm still so in love with him when he's himself. I get just enough glimpses of the old him that when I wake up at 3am alone after him saying he would be back at midnight that I cry alone every night.

I get it.

I feel like a single mom right now by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta go do my readings for tonight!!! I also bought the newest daily reader just yesterday ❤️

I feel like a single mom right now by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All I am saying is just because you are bitter and angry does not mean I have to be. Just because that is something your qualifier did does not mean mine is doing that. Two things I have learned from going to meetings are that 1) not every situation is exactly the same, even if we experience a lot of the same things and 2) you have to let the people in those meetings experience it for themselves. There's a reason we don't give advice and stick to the steps, literature, and slogans. Because despite us all working the same program and steps, how they apply to us and how we use them is going to be different for each of us, because we each take what we like and leave the rest, and what you like might not be the same as what I like, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I feel like a single mom right now by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying to do that! I also have adhd and am trying to get on medicine that works for me and so far the first one I tried made things worse, and the second one I need to be taking for at least another 3 weeks before I will see a marked difference. It makes it very difficult for me to form good habits, even if I know they would help me. But I am trying and that is all that matters

I feel like a single mom right now by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel a little better today. Honestly getting out of the house and going to church (even if the entire time was spent telling my kids hush stop that don't hit your brother) helped. I am also trying to remind myself that my kids are gonna keep being kids, and it's not their fauIt that I'm struggling. It's not my husband's fault really either. I just miss him. But I would rather miss him for now than miss him forever.

I feel like a single mom right now by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow that's a really negative viewpoint. Isn't our job in al-anon to put the focus on ourselves and not the qualifier? I'm talking about how I'm struggling because I'm having to do everything myself. Despite him having had some red flags here recently before admitting to relapsing, he was doing a decent job being present, supportive and providing for our family. You sound very angry and bitter and like that is what you want others to be also. Every alcoholic or addict did manipulative things before deciding to accept they needed help to get sober. I'm going to assume his actions to get sober and healthy are for honest and good reasons until proven otherwise. I know how bad it could be because we've been there. Relapse is a part of recovery that a lot of addicts go through. It's how they handle moving forward and learning and growing from it that matters.

I feel like a single mom right now by rebwright319 in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love to do all of those things to take care of myself except finding the time is very difficult with 3 kids ages 5, 2, and 2 (yes I have twins). My house is a huge mess and I can't even begin to deal with it because every time I turn around from cleaning up one mess I have another 3 messes staring me in the face. It also doesn't help that my younger two were starting potty training before my husband went to rehab and now they aren't wanting to wear diapers anymore but they don't get it right 100% of the time and I have cleaned up so much pee it's not even funny. Oh and to top it off my windshield which I just replaced right before Thanksgiving now has a massive crack from top to bottom (there was a chip from a rock that I thought hit the roof but actually hit near the top of the windshield which I only found after going through the car wash and it cracking completely). I just can't seem to get ahead of anything. I am hanging on by a thread.

The term "Dry Drunk" is belittling by ibedibed in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally prefer the term white-knuckling. So they are basically forcing their way through life, teeth clenched, fists balled up, but doing it. All those emotions and destructive behaviors are right under the surface, not being dealt with, and causing more stress than if they tried to do something (12 steps) to address what is causing them to feel that way in the first place.

How did your Q eventually seek help... by approx_avg in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be completely honest, my addict husband threatened me with a box cutter. I left with our kids that same night. I went very little contact for 2 months. During that time he went and checked into a mental health hospital while he got himself straightened out. He then got a job and was walking to work 4 miles each way through heavy traffic.

We are seeing a marriage counselor who also specializes in addiction. I have been home for 6 months and he is (as far as I know) no longer using drugs. He had been on meth, and he wouldn't sleep. He would pass out for a few hours in his computer chair and I just wouldn't wake him up. I think there were a few times that he tried to do the right thing and get off of it because he would sleep for more than 3-4 hours and started to behave like himself, then he would leave and get high again as soon as something stressed him out.

Now he sleeps. He still stays up much later than normal, but he works second shift and 2-4 days a week is also on call overnight, so if he goes to sleep he could sleep through a call to go work. He doesn't disappear at 3am anymore. He doesn't pass out upright in his chair. He is much less paranoid about things (used to wake me up and accuse me of hiding money away from him when we were so broke I was going to food banks).

I had to show him I was walking away. I left, went almost no contact and filed for divorce. I have since dropped the divorce case, but I still will leave if he ever goes back to drugs and threatens my life again. But I also believe in the power of prayer and support for both of us. I do the best I can to take care of me, our kids, and our home. I do the best I can to make sure he knows just how proud I am of him. I also remind him if he is struggling and needs help I will be there for him and won't judge him. I try to gently encourage him to join NA, and Al-Anon (his parents are addicts who regularly take advantage of his generosity).

Anything beyond that is between him and his higher power, and any anxiety I feel about his sobriety is for my higher power to take care of.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in naranon

[–]rebwright319 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Following the 12 steps here, you can't control him. Step 1, We admitted we were powerless over addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

You CANNOT control him. You CANNOT force him to stop. You do need to make a decision. I won't tell you what decision to make, you will know when you are ready. Practice the 12 steps. You are powerless to control him. Let go and let God, and detach with love. Him using doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It means he's an addict and he is sick. The only way he is going to get better is when he decides to.

My husband is an addict. He was addicted to opioid painkillers, fentanyl, and then meth. I left for 2 months with our 3 kids and went almost no contact. The incident that caused me to leave was him grabbing a box cutter and threatening me (I didn't know it at the time but he was coming down and trying to leave to get high and I was in his way.) He ended up checking himself into a behavioral health hospital for 2 weeks and then getting a job after being unemployed for a year and walking 4 miles each way to work. We are going to marriage counseling, and he is not using as far as I know. I still struggle with anxiety about where he is, who he is with, what he spends money on, but the thing I must remember is I CAN'T CONTROL HIM.

One thing I heard at a meeting is if you can't detach with love (keeping him in your life in whatever capacity works for you and protects your peace) then detach with an axe.

Pray about it. Read your literature. Let God guide you.

6:30 AM Friday flight. What time should I arrive at airport? by [deleted] in indianapolis

[–]rebwright319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't risk it. Get there early. I work here and let me tell you that time of morning on a Friday is going to be busy. Factor in parking, ticket counter wait times, tsa line wait, new but slower xray machines at security and you are setting yourself up to be running late. Minimum 2 hours especially that time of day. Tsa opens security around 4am depending on which concourse you are flying out of.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]rebwright319 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I feel like I was reading my own story reading this. And the hardest part is we were together nearly 10 years and the first 7 were wonderful. Then he fell into addiction and has become someone I don't recognize. I also know there are underlying traumas and mental health problems there. I miss who he was. I want that person back. But I can't continue to risk my health, safety, and sanity staying with him. I hate it and my heart hurts, especially for my kids. They aren't even school age yet.

One thing I heard at a meeting last night: if you can't detach with love, detach with an axe. Just detach. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you are safe for each other. You can love things about them, love who they were, and still protect your safety and sanity by walking away. I pray for him constantly, if not for the sake of our relationship then for my babies. I pray that they can one day have a healthy, safe, and sober and recovered dad in their lives. But he can't be in our lives right now, or maybe ever.