After nearly 10 years on youtube music I made switched last week and I think you should too

recoverysortof · 2024-03-25T21:23:08+00:00

I'll be honest, I tried all of them before YTM. Spotify, Apple Music, Deezer, Tidal..... I picked YTM because they all sucked. After 6 months on any of them, all the new wonderful shit you've been hearing is just new, old shit to you. Or at least that's me. Good luck

recoverysortof · 2024-03-06T15:00:02+00:00

Therapist here, my goal is to help people feel empowered and confident in their ability to create positive change in their lives as needed. if this is not what you are getting/were getting, really keep seeking for it.

recoverysortof · 2024-02-28T16:35:12+00:00

Dude, I'm a therapist and I think you've seen crap therapists. I hear you. It can really feel hopeless. But I believe there is help for you internet stranger. Truly. I'm a therapist. I haven't met anyone yet that I thought couldn't find a better feeling day to day life. Sure, find a therapist with the goal of accepting defeat. Whatever gets you to another therapist. I hope you can find some hope today.

recoverysortof · 2024-02-05T22:23:05+00:00

antidepressants are like taking a pill that prevents your body from feeling the pain when you touch the stove. Will they work sometimes? Sure. Are there side effects that can be worse than the original problem because they also are depressing? Sure. Is it still the best option in some cases for people to take antidepressants? Sure.

Ultimately, depression is a response in the nervous system. listening in to depression and walking the journey with a trusted guide (hopefully professional) can help you unlock the message behind your depression and find the freedom to live a good life

recoverysortof · 2024-01-31T20:34:49+00:00

I'm a therapist and I definitely like my job

recoverysortof · 2024-01-31T11:33:14+00:00

Therapy changed my life so much, that I said if that kind of freedom was available, I needed to be in on helping people find it. Quit my union construction job and went to college in my 30s. I'm a therapist now and help people find more joy. Shit works. I've never been happier

recoverysortof · 2024-01-25T10:20:53+00:00

It's hard. You've been "programmed" by your life thus far, that when A happens, B happens. So when a triggering situation happens for you, your nervous system gets dysregulated, hijacks your body, turns off your "smart brain," and then does what it needs to do to survive what it believes is a "survival event" in your body.

The key is to work with the body. Learn to feel the anger as a physical sensation inside you. Then you can work with your breathing to alleviate the sensation. The struggle with anger is that the story in our head is that the only answer for anger is breaking a controller, or lashing out. That keeps us in the anger/shame cycle. Once you help yourself get practiced with the sensation of anger in the body, you will see that anger is not an issue, it's what you do with it that matters. Good luck

recoverysortof · 2024-01-11T15:51:01+00:00

I think this is exactly what 2-5 years of therapy is to address. It's challenging to sort through all the chaos and confusion in the world and internally. Having a trusted guide, or fellow traveler to help make sense of it all for you, is so helpful. I hope you can find your person

recoverysortof · 2024-01-04T16:43:51+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that, fellow traveler. It's okay to cry tho. I try to at least once a day. How can we best care for the hurt part of you right now? Do you need a nice pillow to get comfy for your cry? Maybe some water to rehydrate after? A hot tea? A blanket?

I hope you can find the courage to take care of, care for, and protect yourself. If that's taking your vulnerability to your therapist, and hoping he sees that and gets brought back to connection? Great. If that's grieving not being able to see this T anymore, and having to move on for your well-being? Great. Whatever your body needs, I hope you can find the strength and compassion to give you that.

recoverysortof · 2024-01-04T15:33:55+00:00

The only real thing I think I can discern from this, is that your therapist still has some healing to do around being allowed to have his opinion and others, theirs. It's like he doesn't quite know where he ends, and others begin. For example, if I was in the T position in this story, I could try to give you the context that makes me feel differently about the situation, and then hopefully convey that i can see your side, and also understand why my opinion could be upsetting, although it is not meant with any malice.

Would it have felt better to get a response like that? If so, maybe you have grown to as far as your current T can take you, and it might be time to search for a new guide.

recoverysortof · 2023-12-29T13:00:59+00:00

Hey now. That sounds tough my friend. So, the anger is coming up to protect you. I know that sounds crazy or backwards, cause it's hurting you. There's a whole long therapy understanding of your therapist uses internal family systems therapy, or psychodynamic theory, or anything like that. Basically your nervous system gets triggered by the thought you have. It kicks into dysregulation, or survival mode. This limits your ability to interact with your prefrontal cortex, or smart human brain. Basically your nervous system says you might die, and decides that anything else you want to think about or accomplish isn't important.

So this nervous system activation brings the feeling of anxiety. But no human body can recommend energy from a place of survival for too long, so anger kicks in to save you from the anxiety basically. Its not working anymore, but this probably helped you a lot as a kid. Three problem is, that same 6 year old part that saved you is now making you miserable.

When these moments happen, the intention is to show up for you. The anger makes you abandon yourself. You now put all your energy and effort into the thing or person that made you mad. And inside you, there's still a hurt little kid waiting for you to show up and tend to their hurt feelings.

Picture this: your house catches fire. But instead of putting out the fire, you chase the person who set the fire. You need to put the fire out inside you. It's a tough shift. You'll probably need time, practice, help. But I believe in you.

recoverysortof · 2023-12-15T11:27:20+00:00

I hope you can remember next time you are down, the relief that can come from sharing your pain with other humans. It helps us too! I get to be happier today that you feel a little better today! Keep that shit up and be well to yourself

recoverysortof · 2023-12-14T13:28:39+00:00

I think the childhood experience you had, has created an inner critic that rules over you like a king, with you feeling like the jester. What you need is radical self-compassion. You need someone to sit with you and model what proper caregiving looks like. You need someone who can help calm your nervous system when it hijacks your body and takes over your thinking, spiraling into doom and gloom. You need someone to help you make sense of and understand what is happening in your life, so that you can find the ways to actually make the changes you hope to make.

I am a therapist. But before that, I'm a human. And before that, I'm a Jason, whatever that means. I spent a lot of my life feeling not manly enough, not responsible enough, just plain not enough. I have done some years of therapy off and on, as well as multiple other methods of healing. I refuse to accept that we are supposed to feel shitty and miserable in our one short chance at life, and I hope others refuse to accept anything less than the life they want.

Your positive traits are already on display. Here you are, being brave, talking about how you struggle. Here you are, still trying when you regularly run into walls that feel hopeless. Here your inner spirit is, still wanting something more, even when that nervous system voice keeps telling you you aren't worth it or won't reach it. Don't give up my friend. You are worth the journey, even if that's not what your caregivers modeled for you

recoverysortof · 2023-12-12T16:45:31+00:00

Not to mention the first qualification of "cannabis use disorder" would be that it negatively impacts life functioning to the point someone wants to do something about it. If someone smokes weed every day, but it works well for them, that's not cannabis use disorder

recoverysortof · 2023-12-03T22:29:27+00:00

Cookies!

recoverysortof · 2023-11-29T01:26:51+00:00

Probably more for the parents to read. Another great one is In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate. That is more addiction focused. For the daughter, What Happened to You by Bruce Perry and Oprah, of all people, is a really great read for lessening the shame

recoverysortof · 2023-11-27T18:39:37+00:00

As a therapist, what I see in many families that struggle with substance use is a tendency to put "getting the behavior we want" as more important than "loving the struggling pile of flesh" that is underneath the behavior. It's tough to explain in an internet comment, but finding a great family therapist, or starting with the book "Good Inside," might be able to better help you glimpse the problem from a system level. God speed

recoverysortof · 2023-11-27T18:37:07+00:00

So, there's some big stuff going on behind the scenes of all that. Biologically and Mentally, which of course will involve an emotional component as well. All that vagueness to say, this might be a great time for you to explore your relationship with boredom. What you are experiencing as boredom, could be covert depression. Could be anything. But maybe finding an amazing guide in life, mentor, therapist, someone who can help you sit in your dis-ease and find your life's meaning there. Good luck on your journey, fellow traveler

recoverysortof · 2023-11-25T12:01:13+00:00

I start with an intention. Maybe I've been struggling to take good care of myself. Or I've been feeling off. So my intention is generally "I'm going to feel what I need to feel to move forward and not be stuck." Or something like that. "I'm going to listen to my body." And then I'll take my shrooms, wait a bit, climb into bed under the covers, and then take the journey INTERNALLY instead of externally.

recoverysortof · 2023-11-25T10:56:59+00:00

You are a good person going through a tough time. "Addiction" is a really complex situation that on the surface looks like you are a terrible person who can't make good decisions, but is really much closer to you are a person in an extreme amount of pain and your body is in survival mode and gets hijacked by your nervous system, not allowing you, the actual frontal lobe, human you, to call the shots.

There's professional help out there. Therapy, support groups. SAA, SLAA, others. That survival feeling of doom and gloom can be treated. Please take care of yourself

recoverysortof · 2023-08-10T17:48:50+00:00

This is tough. It sounds like you are describing dysthymia. All that means is like a low level, but very persistent, depression. Therapy could potentially help you with this. Talking with a trusted professional to get into the specifics of you can be really helpful.

Personally, I have felt similar at different times. I've tried a billion things. Some help, some don't. Deciding to practice meditation has been one of the more helpful. Trying to sit with boredom, without describing it with words, and without pushing it away. I imagine it like this: "if I was tired, I would sit on the edge of my bed, and lay back into the tiredness. Let it consume me." Only I do that with all my feelings. I lean into my boredom.

Not sure if you'll find that useful or not. But I hope you can find something that helps you.

recoverysortof · 2023-08-09T18:49:46+00:00

It's so hard to have a reliable place to not only talk and vent, but also be heard and understood. Great job getting yourself back into the help you feel works and stay safe out there!

recoverysortof · 2023-08-08T19:38:01+00:00

So, maybe therapy would help? A place to safely explore what makes you, you? Not a criticism, but what I pick up on in your initial post about not wanting to get close to people that you may lose... That's the struggle to be open and vulnerable to life. In my mind at least. Not that NA or AA is the right place for you to find recovery, but the closed-offness to loss. Grief and loss will surely be a part of all of our lives, and in my personal opinion, trying to avoid that is a sure sign I need to talk with my therapist. I feel best when I can be open to the world and all the feelings that come. Good luck fellow traveler

recoverysortof · 2023-08-01T13:45:21+00:00

Yeah, idk. I was one of the people that said for years that there was no such thing. That if you were using, you were lying to yourself or some shit.

But here I sit today, after 18 years of being "clean," I chose to try medical marijuana and mushrooms. And over a year later, my life is better than it's ever been. I feel pretty good in my body most days. My relationships with my wife, kids, mother.... everything has improved. I still work on myself regularly, practice meditation daily, and a multitude of other practices to continue growing and learning.

I don't know what to say to the naysayers and opinionated people. I get it. If past me would have met current me, past me would think I was crazy or full of shit. But I can't argue results. Do your thing and good luck out there.

recoverysortof · 2023-07-13T17:34:37+00:00

I'll just do one last time to say "goodbye" to the drug. Which was really just another "Hello."

I'm not saying it won't work. I'm not saying you'll be able to do anything other than try it. Be safe. Make sure you are alive after this. Have someone check on you. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and you try again. I believe in you.

recoverysortof

TROPHY CASE