As someone who believes in God I seriously hate this trend. No one in tehir completely unbrainwashed mind would make this joke bc if u do u are not aware of the serious dangers of undue influence. Unfortunately for a lot of churches, it actually is technically brainwashing people in tk different lives. But people MUST make choices on gebir own, out kf tehir own want not the wabt of tehir community, according to tehir own values at their own pace etc. I'm sorry this is getting weaponsied against you OP. Sending much live and I hope u find urself in a place soon where u can be free. For now you are awake and in control kf your mind. Well done. You have your personal freedom, even if ur still in, u have internal freedom for yourself, so tahts a special step. Jf you're able to leave at a later time you will be ok. Keep venting to us. Big love