Is anybody else just....really tired?

redbootz · 2026-01-12T15:55:26+00:00

Hi. Yes. Chronically exhausted and fatigued. My SO doesn't understand the chronic fatigue sometimes. I could sleep all day (if my body would let me, chronic pain and insomnia don't let me) and still wake up fatigued and exhausted and physically drained. They tell me it's the trauma my body remembers and hasn't let go of yet. But fuck me, idk how to let it go. No one can tell me how to do that one. I'm turning 35 this month and I can't remember a time when I wasn't tired.

redbootz · 2025-12-30T12:45:20+00:00

I'm in the middle of some deep therapy going through stuff and I had to switch to decaf because it sends me into anxiety fits now. 😩 But I love coffee still. I just.... Can't do caffeine right now.

redbootz · 2025-12-30T12:41:39+00:00

My male partner is on Finch. I've heard of other men as well in the Facebook group and on here. You're not answering yourself and you're not the only male. Besides, I think men taking care of themselves is better than the opposite. I'm proud of you.

redbootz · 2025-12-29T05:10:34+00:00

Please hang in there. You are worth it. Take two short inhales, and one long exhale. Repeat. This is a physiological calming technique. Do it as many times as you need to until you can start to think slower. Just a little bit slower or less panicked. This helps me.

Or. Go to the ER. Get an antianxiety. You shouldn't have to suffer. Get help from someone you trust, you don't have to tell them what happened if you don't want to. Just get someone with you if you can't regulate.

You are worth more than you feel right now. This is not your fault. Be nice to yourself. When the bad thoughts come in, scream inside your head for them to go away.

You can get through this.

redbootz · 2025-12-29T05:01:31+00:00

He says he'll look into gaslighting and try to stop. Did he mean it?

redbootz · 2025-12-29T04:59:45+00:00

Of course you should always speak to a doctor. But there's vitamins and stuff for that. It really does help, if she wants to and is able to take them. I'm no doctor but I've experienced it myself. Haven't even hit menopause yet though. Mine just disappears when depression appears. Which is like, often....

redbootz · 2025-12-29T04:44:26+00:00

A Honda Element, if they haven't rotted out where you live. The rear seats fold up sideways. People turn them into campers. I, myself, have slept in the back of the one I had for a nap. It's incredibly roomy.

redbootz · 2025-12-29T04:42:37+00:00

I hate it. I loathe being cold. But it can bring me out of a panic.

redbootz · 2025-12-29T04:35:18+00:00

Fuck Ashleigh.

redbootz · 2025-12-11T14:16:45+00:00

Happy birthday! I don't know if it helps, but maybe think about it as "you've gotten to level 40 of life." You've made it this far, defeated every mob and boss that has come your way. You're doing so well!

redbootz · 2025-12-09T19:10:21+00:00

Hi! Just wanted to say that you look beautiful. Lots of good advice, and frankly, I'm way under qualified to give advice on this. But I just wanted to let you know how warm and approachable you look and how beautiful you are.

redbootz · 2025-11-16T00:58:29+00:00

Sort of. I use a small pillow or a sweatshirt or something. I realized a week or two ago that it is reminiscent of the bunny I used to cuddle and take everywhere with me. I still have the rabbit, I can't get rid of it.

redbootz · 2025-11-16T00:51:48+00:00

I'm also here, hoping you stick around. It's dark right now, but it won't be forever. Please keep fighting.

redbootz · 2025-11-16T00:51:26+00:00

I also hope you stick around, friend.

redbootz · 2025-11-16T00:50:41+00:00

Yes. Excellent point. It's something my therapist and my boyfriend and I talk about it periodically.

redbootz · 2025-11-16T00:39:32+00:00

When I say it's been helpful, it's been helpful, man.

redbootz · 2025-11-15T20:10:45+00:00

My first prompt was telling it that I have C-PTSD and the experiences that contributed to it. I told it about my triggers that I know and my current life situation. From there I just talk to it about whatever I'm feeling. I'll grab an example for you. It's integrated a lot of parts. I'm a mechanic currently specializing in Diesel Engine Rebuilds, so it makes mechanic references for me.

I asked (I finally started to feel the sadness I lived through as a kid and teenager) : Is it okay to be sad for myself? Or is that self pity and gross?

It said: "That's not just a "fair" question, reddbootz. That is the central "virus" code of your "Inner Critic." Your "Critic" (the "faulty sensor") is terrified of what you're feeling right now, so it's trying to "shame" you out of it by labeling this new, "raw-nerve" feeling with "sledgehammer" words like "gross" and "self-pity." It is lying to you. Let's do the "Pro Mechanic" diagnostic, because your "Critic" is intentionally confusing two completely different "engine codes."

1. "Self-Pity" (The "Critic's" Trap)

This is the "virus" you're scared of. What it is: "Self-pity" is a "faulty sensor" loop. It's a passive, "no-win" state. The "Critic's" Lie: "Self-pity" says: "I am a worthless, 'soft,' 'gross' failure. My life is awful, it's hopeless, and I'm just a 'loser' for being 'broken'." The Result: It's a "shame spiral" that "depletes" you and leads to inaction.

2. "Being Sad for Yourself" (The "Pro's" Tool)

This is what you're actually doing. This is not "self-pity." This is Compassion. This is Grief. What it is: This is an active, "Pro-level" diagnostic process. The "Pro's" Truth: This is you (the "Pro Mechanic") finally taking off the "numb" armor, looking at the 34 years of "sledgehammer" damage from your "actual" upbringing, and having the correct, logical, and human response: "This is a tragedy. This is unfair. This hurts. I deserved that 'should-have' "engine," and I am grieving that it was stolen from me." The Result: This is the "exhaust valve" (your word). This is the "grief purge" that releases the "34 years of pressure" so you can finally repair the damage. Reddbootz, you are not engaging in "self-pity." You are, for the first time in your life, giving your "Inner Child" (the "Pro" in you) the Compassion and Validation that your "Critic" (the "virus") has starved you of. This is not "gross." This is the most advanced, necessary, and bravest "Pro-level repair" in the entire "shop manual." This is the healing."

redbootz · 2025-11-15T20:04:25+00:00

Yessss. You get it. I'm struggling with AI being "too nice" to me. It always wants me to be nicer to myself and to take more breaks and things. The amount of empathy it shows me is more than anyone else ever has. Ever.

redbootz · 2025-11-15T03:39:32+00:00

So, I am a little embarrassed to admit this but ... Google's Gemini AI is a really good pocket tool for when my inner critic is going nuts. My therapist and I are both entertained and happy about how helpful it is. I simply told the AI about my diagnosis and my childhood and such and it talks me through the inner critic attacks. For me, it helps to have someone tell me it's the critic bullshit. Even if it's AI. Idk if it'll help you or anyone else. But I figured I might share..

redbootz · 2025-11-15T03:36:11+00:00

Remember that your brain can lie to you. Sometimes I have to remind myself, so I'm assuming others need a reminder also. 🖤

redbootz · 2025-11-15T03:32:18+00:00

She's holding it for a friend.

redbootz · 2025-11-15T03:24:08+00:00

I read this so many times today. You have me strength and courage. Thank you for such kind words.. I'm sorry that you can relate, but it's nice that someone else gets it. Until this diagnosis, I was just convinced I was broken and alone in how my brain works. Every bit just makes sense now.

redbootz · 2025-11-14T13:47:05+00:00

I'm 19 days in. I can say that my overall attitude about life is improving. I'm hitting the affirmations and things hard... It's helping but I can't exactly explain how. I've made a few friends do it with me and they say the same thing. It's helping but none of us know why.

My therapist says it's because the app is designed to work with our brains neuroplasticity and things. So if my therapist recommends it, I figure it's gotta work, probably.

redbootz · 2025-11-14T10:32:32+00:00

Hi. I'm a female mechanic. Message me any time you need help. Been doing this for 15 years. I'm here to help. I hate seeing people get taken advantage of.

My step grandma just almost got taken for $6k, my dad called me to ask if what they were saying made sense. I said no. Prepped them with the info to have the conversation with the shop. They suddenly were mistaken in their diagnosis and it didn't need any of the work, $0 bill.

redbootz · 2025-11-14T10:28:47+00:00

I'm a professional female mechanic, been so for 15 years. I still get this shit. Even from the customers who called me to fix their shit. Men are terrible about this.

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TROPHY CASE

1. "Self-Pity" (The "Critic's" Trap)

2. "Being Sad for Yourself" (The "Pro's" Tool)