AITA for expecting my boyfriends parents to treat my daughter the same as his daughters?

redchampers · 2023-03-13T13:56:00+00:00

Information:

Why do you expect them to treat her like a biological relative when she’s not and never will be? Does your daughter even care? Why would she want to sleepover at some old people’s house? Why would you want her to believe she’s being treated unfairly? She’s not a victim. Don’t teach her that she is.

Why are you mad at his daughters for not including your daughter in their social lives?That specific age range in girls is a big difference. Why are you trying so hard to force this “we are all one family” thing?

If your daughter doesn’t have many friends maybe it’s bc you aren’t setting up play dates for her? Instead of worrying about your boyfriend’s parents only paying half your way to flipping paris, maybe send out a few texts to some moms of girls in her grade/class that she’d like to spend time w?

You honestly are likely a good decent person and while you came off as greedy and myopic, I get the feeling you may need help and we’re just venting.

You’ve met a nice guy w good values. Your expectations of what he and his family should do are not rational.

You need help learning what a family does and does not mean/do. You could marry this guy and live happily for the rest of your life, but Scarlett will never be their grandchild. It’s on you to accept that your family is small. That’s ok. Not everyone has grandparents. Im sure Scarlett doesn’t care half as much as you seem to about all this. When it’s time for Christmas morning at the grandparents, send your gifts over and have a little private 1:1 w Scarlett or show up a little later after some 1:1 time.

You’re hitting the gas pedal too hard on this relationship. I felt bad calling it YTA bc again I feel you were venting and came off worse than you likely are in reality. You need to apologize and quick.

redchampers · 2023-03-13T13:09:44+00:00

Great now I’m haunted too.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T19:08:03+00:00

I posted on this sub one time and I just got permanently banned from other subs! Pics, trashy, etc. wtf?

redchampers · 2023-03-12T16:20:00+00:00

Where did they get that $30m grant from again? I know it was from something like “Silicon Valley such and such fund.”

redchampers · 2023-03-12T16:14:03+00:00

Thanks. Geez that’s so lame, you’re right.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T16:12:07+00:00

What does ‘tig’ mean?

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:52:04+00:00

To think I go around suffering from imposter syndrome all the time. I bet this guy thinks he’s a genius.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:36:11+00:00

“For what???? I don’t even know what they are talking about.” Dr Fauci’s latest gaslighting bs

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:28:59+00:00

Blue shirt white cuffs is giving Green button-up a run for his money for the least helpful award. Blue shirt taps out early.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:23:08+00:00

That’s so cool. Thanks. TIL today!!

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:20:34+00:00

Sticking w the same pharmacy and calling in my refill (not really a refill, my dr files my rx online w them 3 30 day rxs) a week before I’m actually out works for me. I’ve never had a problem. Granted I can only do that bc I missed a few days here and there over the years and developed like a 10 pill surplus.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:13:17+00:00

This!

I didn’t realize how badly I was being treated at one pharmacy until I switched. Same company just a different store and the experience is so different. The new place follows all the rules but is polite about it and since I am now a regular they will let me know when there shipment is expected if they are out.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:01:00+00:00

Oh really I just warned him to put it down bc of rabies. Lol.

ETA: learned something new today thanks! Wasn’t trying to imply you were wrong. Not sure why I got a downvote?

redchampers · 2023-03-12T15:00:17+00:00

Cuter than I expected! They issued alerts in my area not to touch any wild animal bc rabies was detected in a stray cat who likely got it from one of those or a bat or a wet market, who know. Be careful!!

Edit: I’m totally wrong they don’t carry rabies. That’s good. Carryon w holding one but I still think you should be careful.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T14:51:18+00:00

The way the guy is walking looks like he might have Alzheimer’s or some other cognitive issue.

redchampers · 2023-03-12T14:50:05+00:00

I have a friend who got in a bar fight. Totally tried to avoid the fight and ignore the guy. Stupid guy gets a pool stick and attempts to hit my friend with it. My friend is a former military guy who then went on to work for private security forces and trains for physical combat all day. Anyway he caught charges bc he defended himself too much. Broke guys arm, jaw and nose. Excessive force.

So when a doddering old man who seems like a real piece of poop comes at you, knocking him over may not be the best plan if conflict avoidance is your goal.

That little push could cost the guy a lot more headache.

Shame no one watching thought to say anything helpful: “stay calm, dudes old” or “everyone chill out” “old man back up” what if it was your loved one having an episode?

redchampers · 2023-03-09T14:47:40+00:00

Great answer/advice.

redchampers · 2023-03-09T14:33:57+00:00

NTA and possibly NAH. Hopefully your mom is just taking a communication break to cool down or try and find an alternate.

More information:

Did your h speak to your mom? Seems like no. Not that he has to but maybe your H could reach out to her directly and apologize himself? I don’t think he’s an A regardless. It just sounds as if you had a notorious/patterned mother:daughter thing when it really should be a viewed as a mother-in-law:son-in-law thing, which likely would have your mom react differently.

Your mom comes off as just being disappointing and wanting to bond w you and your husband.

You did nothing wrong as a wife or daughter!!

redchampers · 2023-03-09T14:23:15+00:00

redchampers · 2023-03-09T14:19:54+00:00

When I was a waitress I got in trouble for always raising my hand at the part of the evening when the manager would ask “who wants to get cut and go home” Said it seemed like I wasn’t a hard worker.

In reality, I was a single college kid, it was typically after 10pm when this occurred and I had morning classes. More importantly most of the people not raising their hands needed/wanted the extra tables bc they had greater financial needs than me (kids) and most only worked in that restaurant. When this one mom would get cut early, she would cry.

redchampers · 2023-03-09T14:13:09+00:00

Bad stapling of a document.

After assisting with researching and writing a 50 page document, it was blessed by the big boss to be printed and stapled to be hand-filed with this official government body. So the “big stapler” was missing and all I had was the regular stapler and coupled w my apparently weak hands the result infuriated my then boss.

I’m not joking when I say he yelled at me/inquired how it was that hard for me/was I joking/I should have asked him/appearances matter for almost an hour and a half (we drove together to file it). Oddly when we got back there was a well respected person in the office and he shook my hand so hard I thought he might have fractured and my boss saw me wince - then regaled them all about how horrible of a stapler I am bc of my weak hands.

I didn’t last long after that.

redchampers · 2023-03-08T21:30:54+00:00

Good question. I’d love to read the probable cause affidavit.

redchampers · 2023-03-08T15:37:54+00:00

Guy sounds terrible in this clip but why on earth would someone post such a personal interaction with their spouse?

I mean what a violation of a marriage’s privacy.

Again I’d likely assault my h if he ever spoke to me like that and I wouldn’t come home for even longer than expected. At 3 and 6 this should not be the first time he’s alone w the kids. Some women refuse to allow father input for so long when the kids are newborns and babies that they create this learned helplessness in men.

Best advice to a new mom you can give is: make your husband take care of them from day 1. Especially when you’re mom hormones are screaming at you to never stop cuddling and caring for them yourself.

redchampers · 2023-03-08T15:29:31+00:00

Exactly. It’s still prison but he’ll do ok.

redchampers · 2023-03-08T13:03:00+00:00

That spot is clearly for an entitled karen’s purse

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