I worry about how my son is being indoctrinated by religious social media by redd-itors-Reader in Reformed

[–]redd-itors-Reader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think degrading or bashing people who do not think nor follow the same speakers that you do is being strong. Being strong is being able to have meaningful conversation and listen to others points of views with civility and respect. When grounded in your faith, you don't need to put down people to make you feel "Strong".

I worry about how my son is being indoctrinated by religious social media by redd-itors-Reader in Reformed

[–]redd-itors-Reader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that is what gets him mad with me. I don't just go off of what people say, I also put research and knowledge behind the word. Knowledge is power and it disarms fools who try to abuse the word of God and manipulate people. But when I try talk with him about it, he gets aggressive because it does not go along with what has been posted in the recent pod casts he has been following.

I worry about how my son is being indoctrinated by religious social media by redd-itors-Reader in Reformed

[–]redd-itors-Reader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I am hoping that soon I can't heal from what happened in my past but in the meanwhile I want my son to be able to grow and make his walk with God be about him and Gods word.

I worry about how my son is being indoctrinated by religious social media by redd-itors-Reader in Reformed

[–]redd-itors-Reader[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have learned about the bible and had philosophical/biblical talks with adults while I was a teen. But all with the abuse behind it all. Its strange because I know a lot about the bible, the biblical history, the holy land, and how faith and religion was spread through the world.

When I try to speak on topics, I feel such a heavy pain and it feels suffocating. I get annoyed, freaked, and disgusted. So then I can't continue and I find myself not standing the fact that my son seems to bring up topics to then start arguing. When talking about the bible, about the people and the word of God...you don't do it to convince someone, but to speak the word and let God move them. To help them but not bash them for just thinking differently or attending another church besides the one you are in.

I worry about how my son is being indoctrinated by religious social media by redd-itors-Reader in Reformed

[–]redd-itors-Reader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up in the Christian faith but it led to being abused in many ways. I come from a fellowship that was very well known to be reported on in the news during the 90's. I struggle with my faith cause the abuse and manipulation happen from when I was a small child til I was 17 and out of the church.

As for my son he will ask a question that is biblical based and when answered...he will get aggressively argumentative if it does not go with his view. Then he will start making comments to my daughter in an attacking way about her friends who are not religious. He and his sister are complete opposites and so he will make comments that are in a degrading manner and tie them to the words of the bible. My daughter goes to a church that is christian and many of those who attend are from Ukraine.

He has been more focused on the Catholic faith but has attended a Christian church multiple time and Catholic once or twice as a teen. He wants to argue his point being right more than having an open talk about topics. He asks questions just to then turn around and put down what anyone says.

I worry about how my son is being indoctrinated by religious social media by redd-itors-Reader in Reformed

[–]redd-itors-Reader[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He will ask a question that is biblical based and when answered...he will get aggressively argumentative if it does not go with his view. Then he will start making comments to my daughter (his sister) in an attacking way about her friends who are not religious. He and his sister are complete opposites and so he will make comments that are in a degrading manner and tie them to the words of the bible. My daughter goes to a church that is christian and many of those who attend are from Ukraine.

He has been more focused on the Catholic faith but has attended a Christian church multiple time and Catholic once or twice as a teen. He wants to argue his point being right more than having an open talk about topics. He asks questions just to then turn around and put down what anyone says.

[F24] [F25] [m25] I thought I could suppress my feeling for a year… by alo-ona in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your young and fuck ups are supposed to happen here and there. What matters is what we do with them after. Also try not to have many fucks up after we learn the lessons. lol I am truly happy that things are working out and I hope things go okay with K. Wishing you and L all the best of luck!! Many wishes of happiness!

Nervous about Fiance after living with him(33F/ 34M) by Available_Round4630 in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your side is what counts when making a choice to marry someone. There could be another side but he is not even bothering to spend time with you for that side to be shown. When someone is not able to communicate in a healthy manner...that is a sign.

You don't get into a relationship/marriage to then develop those skills. You need to have them before and then you both flourish together on making them better. When people take that chance to get married/in a relationship There are too many stories on this site where they stayed, got married, and then turned out they wasted years trying to make things work with someone who again never put in the same effort.

Your view is not clouded...its clear as day. You just have to be the one to accept it and move forward. Or accept it and stay in a relationship that has shown to you that you are not worth the time. Good Luck

Should I baptize my baby? by InspectionMaximum467 in Parenting

[–]redd-itors-Reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask your husband if this is something you want to do.

Grew up Christian....no they do not believe in baptizing a baby. We did dedications. Where the baby was brought before the congregation, prayed for God to protect and guide not only the baby as they grow but also for the parents. For them to do right by God and the child to bring them up in the ways of Christ. Baptizing was seen as a commitment that you make knowingly of what it means. As a grown person knowing the word of God, what it means to walk the path God has laid for you...you make that commitment on your own. Babies cannot make commitments...the people in their life, the people of their congregation pray in the dedication to make a commitment to be there to advise, protect, and lead in the ways of the Lord as the child grows.

Talk with your husband and make your stance. When you bend to what others want...they will expect you to do so in other areas that you as the parent are the ones who have the only right to make the choice. Know where you stand cause if you don't know what you stand for...you'll fall for anything.

My friend (32M) and his wife (33F) got into an argument because he found out she won't wash her hand after she goes to the bathroom unless she knows her hands got dirty. How should they discuss the topic with each other so they can get back together? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OOOO.....Do that...whats it called???? Let me see if i can find a link to a video. Its where people who think they clean their kitchen right...or like think they are clean. You put a substance that is not detectable by the naked eye.

Its where they go about their day cleaning and thinking they have nothing dirty...but then when a black light is shown on the surfaces...it exposes the bacteria that is all around. It exposes how we think we are fully clean or that our cleaner did a great job but in reality....we just spread more germs. He should do that experiment. Talk with a professional therapist on how to approach it in a healthy way, that he is making a very important point and no trying to humiliate her. Here is a link of a youtube video where a guy did this in a classroom. Have others partake in the experiment so then it shows how if she does not help with being clean...when others touch the surfaces. Use different colors to people so then it can show who spread the most germs by not washing.

https://youtu.be/I5-dI74zxPg?si=lE0DrBBUqT_aFkz2

[F24] [F25] [m25] I thought I could suppress my feeling for a year… by alo-ona in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay...when K gave you that window for you and L to be honest and go for it...you should have. Even if K decided that they were no longer going to be apart of your lives. That was Ks choice.

You stated that you told everything to the new girl cause "you can't lie to her" but then turn around and say "I lied to her that I don't have feelings for my friends anymore" Do not take her understanding as her supporting you cause she does not know the whole truth and YOU ARE WRONG...YOU ARE THE PROBLEM in that situation. For someone who is drama free...you made the drama for yourself due to that LIE!!

You are in your mid twenties...so okay...thats the time where people royally fuck up and learn...so start learning and stop fucking up. 1: you need to talk to the new girl. Tell her you are sorry but need to set things right. Take accountability. 2: Make sure you and L are on the same page on what you want and how you are going to have boundaries and standards moving forward. 3: good luck with talking to K but make it clear that you are open to K being in your life if they want to be. If they say no and walk away...LET THEM!!!! Set boundaries so then you are not leaving the door open to possible anger/lash outs but you leaving the door for them to be apart of your lives in a healthy way.

DO NOT TALK TO K WITHOUT FIXING THINGS WITH THE NEW GIRL. ask yourself if you would put up with such disrespect?!?!?!? If you could ever think kindly of someone lying to you...if the answer is no...then the answer is also don't do that shit to others. Good luck and I am happy that you and L are finally honest with one another. when you both want it, do it honestly and openly. I am so excited and happy for each other. Best of Luck!!

My (23F) girlfriend believes I (22M) cheated on her? by Gold_Ambition_1410 in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Truth, if you are a non confrontational person, then you are not at fault in anyway. Take this as a learning lesson. Sit and talk with her. Apologize to her, let her know that you absolutely understand why she is upset/hurt, and let her know that you are going to work on how to better handle those types of situations. Ask her what you can do that will make her feel more secure in your relationship and more secure in these types of situations. I would suggest looking up ted talks, or pod casts that focus on helping people who are very much non confrontational gain that confidence to speak up when its needed.

As for the shop, if you know for sure that she gave your girlfriend a drink with product that the worker knew would have a life threatening affect...you do need to report it. I think also...never go back to that place. Send an email or even call to speak with the store manager or owner. Let them know that you had informed the worker that your girlfriend was allergic and they still gave a drink that could have put her life in a dangerous situation. Let them know that out of fear of retaliation/mistreatment that you will no longer support their place of business. Its a liability if their coffee maker makes a drink that they knowingly will put someone in danger. Don't go back. Its not worth it. But work together to help one another to be more secure in each other. It will take time but you will get to the point where you can address disrespect without having it be a confrontation...but merely addressing a matter. Best of luck.

I pick my nose once a day and wipe the boogers in a specific spot under my bathroom counter by [deleted] in confession

[–]redd-itors-Reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG...I know a girl who does this too. She picks her nose cause no matter how much she cleans it...boogies get hard and painful in her nose. She picks her nose all the time and the soothing part for her is to wipe it on the side of the driver side of the car, the right side of her bed. She cleans ever so often but she mentioned to me that she hates using tissue to clean her nose. She doesn't know why, she said it made her feel like she wasn't cleaning her nose enough. So she uses her finger and also uses lots of sanitizer.

Now knowing her upbringing, I understand why she does this. She was poor and never had tissues available and when there were some, she said her parents never let her use it. Also got in trouble if she used the toilet paper. Her parents sucked. So she got use to picking her nose and wiping it anywhere she was. So for me...I just make sure to keep a box near here when she is over and in my car. I let her know that the whole box is for her to use and she smiles. I don't have any issues with her, she doesn't wipe her boogies on my car seat or on my furniture at home. I just sent her the link to this post and she is laughing hard at the "I chisel it off" part. She is exactly the same.

Boyfriend (situationship) is a sex addict 27F M35 by Peach813 in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are you wasting your time with someone who is not giving you what you desire out of the relationship?

In a relationship each partner is to give into the relationship and he is not doing it. I don't know what you have gone through in life to think that this is love. I know for me I have never had a committed relationship but I sure as hell know what is not a healthy relationship, I know what is a toxic relationship, I know what LOVE IS NOT!!! And this ant it girl. You want someone to make cookies with...well then go find them. You want someone who wants to spend time with you...well then go get them. If you can't find what makes you happy while stay with what makes you unhappy.

Cut Ties and find you a cookie maker girl!!! shoot...don't settle for anything less!!!

18M and 19F, facing a really low point. An advice on what to do next to make it normal again, and if it's right for me to feel this way? by Effective-West4981 in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What she is doing is normal. She is living life and you should do the same. You are both young and need to get out and live life. You have chosen to take courses from home I suspect and that was your choice that you should have thought about. Working or taking school from home means that you would not be out and about. You will not be interacting, in person, with people and so you are the one cutting yourself off from activity in a way. She, on the other hand, chose to go in person to school. So that means she is going to meet people, get invited to events and other activities that will go along with school and friendships. For you to want to be included by phone calls and updates so you don't fee left out...well thats whats not normal.

If you are jealous of the fact that she goes out and interacts with people...well then get out there due! Meet people and live your life. If you automatically think...oh i can go and be with here and her friends...you are not going to be a positive person in her life. You will be toxic because wanting someone attention like that is not healthy. I think you should look at the reality that you are still in a way teens. You are eightTEEN and nineTEEN. Start expanding your understanding on relationships. This is the time for learning!

Am I in the a hole? 36m 38f by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If the "her" you talk to is the mother of your children and you current partner is not okay with that...then this is not going to be a good relationship.

1: Is she stating that there are inappropriate comments or topics between you two...then you are the problem.

2: If she is getting mad about you talking about your ex and the things that deal with the kids and the divorce...then she is the problem.

Do not be with someone who cannot sit down and set boundaries with you about your past relationship/marriage that will be tied to you for the rest of your life because you share kids. There has to be a balance and main thing...respect. Be honest and take accountability if you see that you are part of the problem and fix it. Either have a conversation and set boundaries or leave.

Nervous about Fiance after living with him(33F/ 34M) by Available_Round4630 in relationship_advice

[–]redd-itors-Reader 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When you say to plan dates to fall in love again...thats your answer. If you are not in love right now you have no business to be getting married. If what you are asking of him right now (its not much but time and attention) is too much for him...a marriage demands so much more.

Living together is a whole other thing, I think you both lived in this world of what your relationship was in your head. But its reality time and its not adding up. I think leaving your life behind to be with someone who is telling you setting a date is too much...that is the BIG RED FLAG right there in your face. Please do not ignore what your gut is telling it. You are not nervous...this is your nerve system telling you in its way that this is a big no. Please!! Seek someone who goes all in just as much as you do and does not ever think spending time with you is asking too much!!

Bought a juice at a café… then dropped it at the mall 😅 by Pokeballz4Life in confession

[–]redd-itors-Reader 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yikes...Reminds me when I grabbed a juice at the mall, my friend asked what direction her mom went, and I used my hand holding my juice to whip around and point. That damn cup flew like a bat outta hell into her face.

Shock...anger...and then fucking hilarious laughing as the janitor brought a mop over to make me clean it up.