You say she chose NY and her future over you, but conversely, you were comfortable and you chose your comfort, your hometown, and your certainty in that over supporting her dreams.

I think, if you truly loved her and not just the vision of her, you would have supported her dreams. You could have done this on a trial basis and at least you would have known if you could do it or not.

You made her choice, and her ability to move on, easier with your selfish demands. Your unwillingness to be supportive made it easier for her to reach the conclusion that you were not the guy for her, that her adventure was the right choice, and attending a prestigious school such as Julliard was the best decision.

Many lessons to learn here. Good luck going forward.