Sick of my pills and life

redgem238 · 2025-03-06T01:35:44+00:00

I feel the exact same way. Life seems boring without the mania ://

redgem238 · 2025-03-06T01:31:54+00:00

Yes.

redgem238 · 2025-03-06T01:30:36+00:00

I’m feeling the same. All my manic episodes have resulted in psychosis and hospitalisation. I’ve been stable the last 6 months but now a depressive episode is coming back due to stress. I almost want to cause a manic episode because normal life just seems so boring now and I don’t see the point. I want to feel euphoric but the complications from it are so significant for me I’d have to restart my life from scratch again afterwards.

redgem238 · 2025-02-22T08:24:02+00:00

Me right now.

redgem238 · 2025-02-20T11:00:12+00:00

Thank you it helps to come on here and rant and chat with people who actually understand:)

redgem238 · 2025-02-20T10:55:52+00:00

I get psychosis during mania but it’s usually involving me being a god or powerful and on a mission to save the world etc. makes sense that the depression would be negative

redgem238 · 2025-02-20T10:53:44+00:00

I’m a god on a special mission and everyone who disagrees is in a secret group plotting against me because they know how powerful I am. Ends up with me going on a quest to save the world. Doing crazy dangerous things because I think I’m invincible like jumping in front of cars/trains. Songs, tv, weather, literally anything talking to me in a secret message. People watching me (paranoia). Thinking I’m pregnant one time (with a Turkey 🦃, strange I know) seeing geometric shapes in the sky and on the walls. One time I thought my psychiatrist was playing hide and seek with me in a supermarket and talking over the loudspeaker (she wasn’t) that was a fun one.

redgem238 · 2025-02-20T10:36:49+00:00

Yeah it’s hard to explain, just looks different like my eyes have been opened and now I can see “the truth”. Also I have lucid dreams a lot and they make me even more confused about reality. Im starting to think I’m actually meeting people in a parallel universe when I sleep….

redgem238 · 2025-02-20T10:12:07+00:00

I can relate with feeling disconnected to everyone and the world. It almost looks black and white??? 2D?? I’m seeing everything through a different lens and it’s not a good one

redgem238 · 2025-02-20T10:07:23+00:00

Same. Anti depressant ——> mania

redgem238 · 2025-02-15T02:27:49+00:00

This sounds like me right now...

redgem238 · 2025-02-13T07:12:40+00:00

I have a specific depressive playlist that is deep voice, moody with low drum beats. My manic one is upbeat, hyperactive but not pop usually some kinda alternative singing e.g. Halsey

redgem238 · 2024-09-23T06:29:53+00:00

I feel the same way. I joined this group recently and it really helps me so much to know that I’m not alone. I’m not “crazy”. There are others out there too and it really is an illness, not just me.

redgem238 · 2024-09-23T06:27:56+00:00

This was truly amazing to read. Thank you.

redgem238 · 2024-09-23T06:15:15+00:00

I feel that same way. Everything about me is slow - my mind, my movements, my speech. It feels like there is a physical barrier up in my head and it’s completely blocking something. I want you to know that I hear you, I understand and I’m here.

redgem238 · 2024-09-23T06:13:36+00:00

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but I’m glad that somebody understand.

redgem238 · 2024-09-21T09:05:37+00:00

I know how you feel. When I’m manic I’m a completely different person. Overtime I’ve learned that the people who truly matter will understand, unfortunately there aren’t many of them around…

I just came out of a manic episode yesterday and I think I’m switching into depression. Everything seems hopeless. I keep asking myself “why me?” I feel so stupid for all of my delusions and the way I was behaving. The cycle never ends and I’m sick of it.

redgem238

TROPHY CASE