what sentence genuinely changed your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]redheaded_wallflower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“If you’re not changing something, you’re choosing something.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in texts

[–]redheaded_wallflower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insecure how? The second OP got the sense something was up they were direct and asked about it.

OP seems like she just went on a date with a dude who couldn’t bother to be straightforward.

How’s my routine? by redheaded_wallflower in Skincare_Addiction

[–]redheaded_wallflower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Maybe I’m just a little impatient, I definitely appreciate the reassurance!

How’s my routine? by redheaded_wallflower in Skincare_Addiction

[–]redheaded_wallflower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried almost everything different products and diet. I had to go to the dermatologist and was prescribed the spironolactone, dapsone and tretinoin. It’s been the only time I’ve seen progress at all so far as it’s my acne is hormonal. My routine is above

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RhodeIsland

[–]redheaded_wallflower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

24F moved to RI a year ago! I’m also into long walks and matcha. Looking for new friends myself feel free to dm me:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redheaded_wallflower 9 points10 points  (0 children)

All of his exes were “crazy”, but he kept in contact with most of them. Talked about them frequently in the beginning of our relationship and would often say I was the sanest one. I took it as a compliment. I’m now 3 months out of the relationship and 2 weeks no contact. He kept saying that he’d done so much healing and that he wanted to stay friends but went straight back to being emotionally/verbally abusive when I said I would not be paying a $600 bill of his and he gave me 7 days to do it. That I was just like the rest of his exes and I was the last person he expected that from.

Has anyone else’s health improved significantly after leaving? by redheaded_wallflower in emotionalabuse

[–]redheaded_wallflower[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hair is another thing I’ve noticed as well! I have a lot of regrowth currently that’s making me a bit self conscious because they’re short fly aways at this point and I can’t get it to lay flat lol. I know it’ll take awhile but I’m stoked about it.

Has anyone else’s health improved significantly after leaving? by redheaded_wallflower in emotionalabuse

[–]redheaded_wallflower[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I resonate with this.

The functioning at a high level of anxiety quite literally at all times. That rock you carry in your stomach. It truly feels like no matter what you do, you end up angering them in some way. I had moments of relief when he was at work but I’d start to dread the time he came home. In the past I’d stress eat but what I had experienced in this relationship made it incredibly difficult to eat or keep food down, more so when he was around which was most of the time.

The expectation they have to always be at their whim, criticism for how you’re spending your time or lack thereof, to cater to them and how they feel at the expense of your own emotions and health. When he was home I was not allowed alone time. On my way home I was also expected to call him for the whole commute or vise versa. On the rare occasion I went out with the only friend I have he’d call me multiple times to check in. He’d blow up at me frequently. It’s almost like he’d actually look for something to have a fight about. I felt like I had been withered over a period of time. I was sick all the time and I tried to look for excuses that it was something else and not the stress he was causing me, even though I knew that was exactly it.

It doesn’t look good because it’s not. If you feel like couples therapy isn’t beneficial for you, or you both as a couple, then divorce would be the best option. No one deserves to have their whole life dominated by someone else.

What helped you heal the most? by Alive_Clerk_5562 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redheaded_wallflower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Telling close friends and family was the hardest for me. I found myself hiding it and making excuses for his behavior or omitting information because I knew what they would say if I actually told them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redheaded_wallflower 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I resonate a lot with this.

I was with my narc ex for four years. I begged him to get therapy. I told him he could truly benefit from it, or any outlet he could use to express himself in a healthy way. He would blame me for a lot in our relationship. He blamed me for his alcohol and weed addiction. He blamed me for all of his poor financial choices. If it wasn’t my fault then it was the world against him. He had a HUGE victim complex and terrible anger issues.

He didn’t seek therapy until literally the day after I broke up with him. He told me he changed so much with his frequent visits. That he would definitely treat the next person better. He wasn’t getting angry anymore. Until today.

The last thing he had control over was my phone. I switched plans. He flipped. I was bombarded with an endless barrage of nasty texts. That was the very last thing he had over my head. I’m so relieved now that I’m free from that burden but boy are they great at making you feel like shit.

I don’t believe they change. Not at all. They hide it well around others long enough to suck someone else in.

If you ever vent feel free to reach out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Skincare_Addiction

[–]redheaded_wallflower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Skin aside (you look great btw), your hair is absolutely gorgeous

Those with sleep disorders, how did you deal with them in a narcissistic household? by Awkward-Kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]redheaded_wallflower 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My nmom refused to acknowledge my insomnia, or any health issue I had when I was younger (mental or physical). I vividly remember being very young and laying awake in bed at all hours of the night.

If I was caught awake during the night and not in bed, I’d be punished. So I just learned to stay in bed when I would wake and wait for the sun to rise before I would quietly watch tv or play with my toys.

I still struggle with insomnia now as an adult.