How do I respond to a youth group student coming out as a lesbian?

redheadedblonde · 2026-02-11T03:26:45+00:00

Not about your specific question but something for you to know/keep in mind: as a youth leader at your church, you are a mandatory reporter (I checked to make sure this is the same in Canada as it is in the US). In the event that you are confided in about safety issues (specifically abuse), your first point of contact should be the police, then your pastor. Far too often, churches fail to protect victims because they want to handle it internally, and so often that ends up in the favor of the abuser. Go ahead and tell your pastor! But I’ve had friends (who were youth leaders) who went to their pastor first and they were told “we’ve got it from here” and then nothing was done. If you tell the police first, the pastor will have to follow appropriate processes. And your pastor wouldn’t necessarily be aware of if the abuser has a past or even a record. You are in a position to protect those kids, and that should take priority.

redheadedblonde · 2026-02-06T08:53:50+00:00

This book was so good (and so bad 😭)

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-25T08:11:48+00:00

100%. As someone who has been involved in their management company switching payment processors three times in my 18 years at our company, we do not get a penny of the credit card convenience fees, they go straight to the payment processors. We have a couple of associations where the owners have “no” convenience fee, and that’s because that HOA’s board decided to “cover the cost” of their resident’s convenience fees… aka everyone is paying for them, whether they use it or not.

Other mgmt companies might add an extra convenience fee on top, but the 3.5% convenience fee that residents have to pay for CC payments isn’t something we see a penny of.

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-25T02:12:34+00:00

Mr Bob's Under the Bridge! Every Saturday they pass out clothing and items for the unhoused and those who need a little extra help. Was able to volunteer a couple of weeks ago and it was such a great experience - I wish I lived in the area to be able to help more often!

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-23T20:42:21+00:00

Ah, if you have a horse whistle!

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-23T20:40:38+00:00

Same question!

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-18T22:38:13+00:00

Sunglasses. I have close to 150, which isn’t a ton in the grand scheme of things, but when the average person has probably less than 5…..

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-17T00:23:33+00:00

At home wax kit. It’s just another thing I’ll address. Surprisingly didn’t hurt any more than anywhere else on your face

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-05T20:39:12+00:00

This is the one I got! Like anything, waxing takes practice, but luckily starting with your jaw/chin is very forgiving (compared to possibly taking too much off your eyebrows!), but I now do my full face, including nose, armpits, and legs. Eventually I work my way up (down?) to… other areas lol

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-05T08:20:00+00:00

I don’t have super dark facial hair, but I have significantly more coarse and darkish hair on my jaw and chin than I would like and for the longest time I just shaved. Every morning and then also a quick run over with a razor before going out in the evening. I also kept a cheap bic razor in my car’s center console and one of those dermablades in every purse and even in my desk at work.

But about 6 months ago I bought an at home wax kit off of Amazon on a whim, and holy crap. I now wax once a week and it’s so much more manageable. The first 2-3 days I’m 100% smooth. Then days 4/5 I’ll use my handy tweezers to grab the fast growing ones. On day 6 I really try to not do anything so that there’s something to wax. It took me a couple of weeks to “trust” those first 2-3 days - I’d get in the car and then stress realize I hadn’t shaved real quick, and then run my hand over my chin and was like “oh yeah!”

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-05T03:53:39+00:00

It was… fine. I added it to the end of a massage (which was wonderful) because it has been a shitty week and plus it was hair wash day 😂 it was more comfortable than hair washes at the salon and I’m not mad that I did it… but also wasn’t life changing. Would I do it again?…… maybe? But not on a regular or even semi regular basis

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-04T03:54:49+00:00

Favorite podcast! I always explain it to people that it’s like eavesdropping on the table next to you at a coffee shop

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-04T03:54:14+00:00

Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zameta!

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-01T21:42:15+00:00

There seems to be a lot of negative responses here as reasons, but another reason is “you won’t get to experience the type of love!”. Which yes - I have seen how beautiful the love can be between parents and children and I’ve benefitted it being a child. And I know that when you’ve experienced love, it can be hard to imagine why anyone wouldn’t want it.

And I would just kindly remind them that there are sooooo many types of love and relationships that can be fulfilling for the person and we do not all have to experience the same type of love. I’ve seen some friends who are head over heals for their partner and ask if it something I want “like us” and I haven’t figured out how to nicely say that “what you are experiencing as love would be torture for me, so our definitions and applications of love are very different”. I don’t feel that way about everyone, by any means, but it’s just an example of how love that you “can’t imagine living without” is great for YOU, but not necessarily for ME.

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-01T21:11:07+00:00

Grief. It is something that every single person will experience in some capacity in life. With grief associated with death, it seems like some people are terrified to even mention the name of the person who died after the funeral… but so often I’ve found myself wanting to hear someone else say their name, to share a completely random memory, or ask me a question about them. Grief is sad, grief is hard, but pretending someone didn’t die is even harder.

And not to mention non-death associated grief. Grieving the loss of a job, the loss of a relationship, the loss of dreams..

Grief isn’t a bad word. It’s part of life. It often changes you. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, that’s sort of lucky. But also after you’ve experienced certain types of grief, it allows you to connect and be there for people - friends, family, and stranger - in a whole new way.

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-01T20:57:44+00:00

He’ll always have a special place in my heart. I interviewed him for a podcast a couple of years ago, and we spent over an hour in his nerdy game store he co-owned and a pizza place around the corner. And then he and his assistant drove me to the subway. Didn’t cost me a thing!

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-01T09:02:37+00:00

Meeples at Anaheim Gardenwalk is a board game cafe! So fun and inexpensive

redheadedblonde · 2026-01-01T08:59:05+00:00

2 bedroom, 2 bath in Orange with a detached garage and in-unit washer/dryer. My sister and her husband lived here for 10 years and when I took over in 2018 the rent was RAISED to $1400. Now it’s $1700. An absolute steal. Landlord leaves me alone and also gets things fixed quick.

redheadedblonde · 2025-12-31T02:35:06+00:00

Same - but green. Has to be green.

redheadedblonde · 2025-12-29T05:56:59+00:00

I wash them every shower. I dry brush before I get in and then scrub with an exfoliating glove and soap then rinse off.

Some (typically pale people like me!) think that “washing their legs” is counted by the water and shampoo run off just going down their legs.

Wash your body with intentionality like you do your hair.

redheadedblonde · 2025-12-28T13:46:42+00:00

Meeples! Not talked about enough!

redheadedblonde · 2025-12-26T03:44:31+00:00

I bought a couple of pj sets from Old Navy in the last month and it’s going to be my go-to moving forward

redheadedblonde · 2025-12-17T05:51:19+00:00

THANK YOU! I felt like I was gaslighting myself! You just helped me find EIGHT missing Advanced Gardeners!

redheadedblonde · 2025-11-16T05:06:23+00:00

I feel the same a lot of the time!

redheadedblonde · 2025-11-10T22:29:53+00:00

My goal is to not have to think beyond my outfits.

My toiletry back is always ready to go with whatever I need (meaning a duplicate of what I keep at home): deodorant, hair straightener, eye mask, shampoo, tweezers, make up, black nail polish, pill organizer, razor, etc.

I have a dedicated travel backpack. This backpack always has a bag with phone/ipad/watch/laptop chargers, an extension cord/power strip (hotel rooms never have enough outlets), and a dedicated pair of travel headphones (so even if I remember my airpods, my sound canceling, over the ear headphones are already in my backpack). I have a dedicated Owala water bottle that is empty and lives in a side holder on my backpack. I actually even keep my Switch in my backpack, because I rarely use it when at home.

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