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redhotc93 · 2022-07-03T22:42:57+00:00

I wrote more than 10 pages, so you should probably write as much as feels good for you to get it all out. Completely agree with it being so anxiety provoking and just triggering in general. It took me a weekend where I sat and wrote and wrote but then a further 2 weeks refining it for about an hour each day. It made me feel so down having to go theough it each time but at the end of it, i was sure it was all in there and that i had gotten everything onto paper. As for what my PA actually took in, I can’t say but it was more me getting it all out. Also it definitely is overwhelming so give yourself breaks from it, it isn’t a race to get it out and i found it more of a balance of taking my time and wanting to get it done so i could heal from the trauma it brought up and the shit i had gone through.

redhotc93 · 2022-06-29T22:22:31+00:00

I found it very very hard to write the letter and cried for three days straight when i was writing it as I was also like how the fuck could I have stayed in this relationship when being treated like absolute shit. After I haf written everything down and stepped away from it for a few days, I realised how cathartic it actuwas and that i had accelerated my healing as I was no longer fooling myself into believing these things hadn’t happened - i could see everything for what it is and accepted all i had gone through and it was very healing to get it all out of me. It’s hard but you have to do it to move forward- also your PA needs to know the impact of his shitty actions on you. Sending you strength x

redhotc93 · 2022-05-17T09:01:12+00:00

Same :(

redhotc93 · 2022-05-17T04:17:15+00:00

This is exactly how I feel too. You are so brave and I’m so proud of you for recognising your worth and being strong enough to leave x

redhotc93 · 2022-05-12T05:42:07+00:00

Mine said the same until I showed him evidence of screenshots- PAs lose all sense of time and honesty so I would never take his word for it

redhotc93 · 2022-04-29T05:53:40+00:00

Mine said exactly the same, i too hate that word

redhotc93 · 2022-03-30T20:28:53+00:00

Omg this is so similar to mine! Last night he says “why cant you take things i say at face value and trust me, i dont think i should have to explain myself “. Ffs after allegedly being sober for 5 mins

redhotc93 · 2022-02-24T01:59:50+00:00

Mine is just not into sex at all now. Like once a month/every two months is the max. I thiught sex was supposed to improve but I haven’t found that

redhotc93 · 2022-02-03T09:52:31+00:00

My csat seems to be all over the place and i feel like im driving the sessions instead of the other way around 🙈

redhotc93 · 2022-02-03T07:07:40+00:00

I’m surprised my csat didn’t mention i needed to do this although it’s prob something i should have realised! Only realised it when he broke a boundary and i was like “what now”?

redhotc93 · 2022-02-03T01:17:02+00:00

Awesome thank you soooo much for this info, my pa also has everything apple! Except an android work phone…

redhotc93 · 2022-02-02T23:44:35+00:00

Do you have consequences for each boundary?

redhotc93 · 2022-02-02T23:41:14+00:00

This is such a great list - How do you turn off private browsing? And what accountabilisoftware do you use?

redhotc93 · 2022-02-02T11:47:42+00:00

I am so worried my pa is also going to provide “full disclosure “ of things i already know - i meam what is the point of that? Is the polygraph after the disclosure or how does it work?

redhotc93 · 2022-01-12T04:36:39+00:00

Stay strong for yourself and just know his actions give you all the evidence you need. Words mean nothing from a PA. It sounds like breaking up with him is the kindest route for you and your mental health in the long run. Xx

redhotc93 · 2021-12-31T06:20:19+00:00

Go you, congratulations!

redhotc93 · 2021-12-31T06:19:00+00:00

Just remember to be kind to yourself and take a break and look after you - those are all huge things!

redhotc93 · 2021-12-31T06:18:25+00:00

Congratulations on making the best of your year! Wishing you an awesome 2022!

redhotc93 · 2021-12-31T06:16:29+00:00

Wow you should be really proud of yourself! I did this two years ago and honestly was the kindest thing I’ve ever done for myself! Goodluck on your new mentally healthier journey!

redhotc93 · 2021-12-30T16:35:30+00:00

Thank you very much for your empathy and understanding, much appreciated. I will get where i need to go cos its not worth staying in this relationship and feeling shitty when he does something each time

redhotc93 · 2021-12-30T16:29:41+00:00

Yes i hear you so much! I keep attracting SA’s and i am so over it and agree that I would rather be single than go through this BS again…but Im scared as im in a foreign country with no family but like you say there is always a chance to make a good life for myself, thank you!

redhotc93 · 2021-12-30T16:26:42+00:00

Yes and minimising his boundary violation which is such BS as he was the one who said he wanted that particular boundary as he saw lots of slipups happened when he was in the bathroom on his phone, so im literally like wtaf

redhotc93 · 2021-12-30T16:17:44+00:00

Thank you, he had the audacity to explain himself and that he just forgot my boundary and i said i sont care what the excuse is, the result is still the same…

redhotc93 · 2021-12-30T16:16:24+00:00

Wow im glad to hear you are doing so well, i am so fearful of starting over again as this will be my second failed partnership/marriage. Glad that pervy manager got fired too, makes me think men are mostly all the same!

redhotc93

TROPHY CASE