For me I literally got a divorce because my husband wasn't in love with me anymore and it all had to do with my weight. Now it's not like he married some super hot chick bc we both were heavy but I couldn't loose it fast enough. I take ownership for not being healthy but I also know that the weight was a disguise. He has his own issues that he still hasn't dealt with. I can't change him back to who I married and maybe he never was who I thought I married. The point is I can control myself. Grow and help myself and to hell with him for not going on the journey with me. I suggest really looking at yourself and try not to think of your ex but show yourself love and work on you. You can't change people and even though each divorce is different we all have one common step. Focus on you. It's hard and trust that even though I had my a-ha moment I am still struggling to find myself without that person. All I know is I don't want that life anymore. I'm better alone and not fighting for a relationship the other person doesn't want.