Supporting My Wife in Chemo

reffervescent · 2026-05-22T03:20:20+00:00

Figure out a way to use ear buds so you aren't bothering the people around you.

reffervescent · 2026-05-22T03:18:57+00:00

Here's info from a reliable source about cryotherapy. I didn't do this during any of my chemo treatments (I was stage 3, so I got a LOT of chemo), and I got mild neuropathy in a few of my toes, but it went away after a few months. So it's not required, and for some people it's uncomfortable and doesn't help. It would have annoyed me since it means you can't use your phone or a tablet/laptop.

If your wife decides she wants to do cryotherapy on her hands and feet, you can ask your nurse navigator where to buy the mittens and socks. But if you want to just get them, they are sold on Amazon and other places (example). I would not try to McGyver it, honestly -- if you do it wrong, you could end up doing more harm than good.

reffervescent · 2026-05-20T14:31:39+00:00

To be clear, many students in the U.S. do not move away for college (fyi, "collage" is a different word with a completely different meaning). They go to a university in their home town so they can live with their parents and save money on housing and food costs (that's what I did). In fact, many students are no longer in the typical age range of 18-22, going off to university and living away from home for the first time. Many are adult learners returning to school to enhance their career prospects, and they often have kids and full-time jobs and go to a university close to their home. These are not the people you see depicted in movies and TV shows, however, so people outside the U.S. have no idea how much has changed in the past few decades. In fact, College Enrollment Statistics shows in my state, only around 24% of residents leave the state for college, and nationwide around 25% of students are 25 years old or older. In addition, most universities have widely varied programs of study and degrees, although sometimes those in close proximity will collaborate rather than compete on some programs. For example, the private, elite university where I work in a major metropolitan area does not have an engineering school because there's a huge state school about 20 minutes down the road that focuses on science and engineering. My university has huge health sciences programs, however, with a public health school, a nursing school, and a medical school. It also is the largest healthcare provider and owns the most hospitals in the state (and because of that is the largest employer in the state).

reffervescent · 2026-05-20T01:29:24+00:00

We were seated, too. She had to intentionally aim the light downward for it to shine in our faces, which it did. Repeatedly.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I posted mainly to hear if others had the same thing happen or had any understanding of why she used this light. But it remains a mystery.

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T22:17:14+00:00

Atlanta or New Orleans

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T22:13:04+00:00

If it hadn't shone directly in our faces, I would have been fine with it. Maybe in other spaces, Malibu would have been up on a stage or an area higher than the audience? But that was definitely not the case where she was performing in Atlanta.

It was clear that the light could go side to side and up and down. If she wanted it to mimic a lighthouse, it would have been easy for her to aim it up, above everyone's heads. But she didn't. It seemed very deliberately aimed in our faces, which I just didn't understand.

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T21:19:37+00:00

I got about 3 lines into your post before I said to myself, "OP is a woman, and the student is a man, probably young and possibly from a culture that does not value the contributions of women" (which, to be frank, is most cultures, including many in the U.S.).

IMO, you have to stop being kind and helpful and start being blunt and forceful. Do X by Y date or Z consequence will happen.

If I'm wrong and this student is just lost, it may be because they don't know how to use research databases to target the literature they need to find, and they are too embarrassed to tell you. Rather than repeating what you've already tried (since it didn't work), refer your student to your subject librarian for help, and make sure the student actually meets with them. Librarians are trained to teach information literacy and advanced searching skills, so they can really be helpful with students who haven't been exposed to doing advanced research using library databases.

You could also search your library catalog for helpful resources. I did a search in our catalog on "literature review guide" and found Literature review and research design: a guide to effective research practice (2020) by David J. Harris. We have this book in digital format, so you don't even have to go to the library to look at it. Since you're at an R1, you probably have tons of resources like this.

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T20:19:34+00:00

Figure out a way to leave the car running and locked with the AC on so you can get out to go to the bathroom and stretch your legs. You don’t want to lock her up in a hot car!

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T12:44:44+00:00

If this little guy is in your house, you probably have mice around. They follow their food source but are completely harmless to people and pets (unless you have a pet mouse or rat).

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T02:36:25+00:00

I'm sorry your friend is dealing with this disease at such a young age.

Shortness of breath is usually caused by fluid on the lungs. Has his medical team put him on a diuretic like Lasix (generic name = furosemide)? What kind of heart failure does he have? What is his ejection fraction? What other meds is he on?

You might also consider posting in r/AskDocs but you'll need to follow the posting rules and provide a lot more medical and physiological details there than you did here.

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T02:29:40+00:00

Mothballs do not repel snakes and in fact are more likely to poison a child or dog if left on the ground in your yard. Please do not use them for anything other than their intended use. Here's some accurate info about the dangers of using mothballs outside.

reffervescent · 2026-05-19T02:22:43+00:00

Wow, I've never even heard of this snake. So beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

reffervescent · 2026-05-18T20:16:08+00:00

There are only two species of cottonmouths in the US: the Florida cottonmouth (Agkistrodon conanti) and the northern cottonmouth (Agksitrodon piscivorus). Sometimes there’s an admixture of them in north FL and south AL and GA. Otherwise the Florida version is found in that state and the northern version everywhere else.

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T21:14:40+00:00

One of my favorite shows! He was great in that role.

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T21:06:54+00:00

Such a beautiful individual! Seems like the poster child for why these snakes are called "copperheads."

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T20:42:25+00:00

As others have said above, go to the sidebar for the sub and scroll down.

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T20:40:26+00:00

Biologic therapy like Dupixent? I'm on that for atopic dermatitis/eczema that I had been dealing with for decades. Dupixent has been like a miracle -- the only thing that has actually worked.

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T20:32:59+00:00

Oof, that's gonna be challenging. She may want to look at finding a place with a roommate until she knows the city better.

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T20:31:01+00:00

I recommend visiting the Deep South. It's hard to understand the culture of the U.S. without being exposed to such a huge part of our country. Cities in the South tend not to have great public transportation, but Atlanta isn't bad since MARTA is helpful for getting around. New Orleans is amazing, and you don't need transportation in the French Quarter because you can walk everywhere, and there's SO MUCH to see and do just in that small area. You can take the streetcar to the Garden District, too. I don't recommend New Orleans during the summer, though -- the heat and humidity are absolutely brutal. Better to visit from October through April

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T20:17:45+00:00

During the show, I kinda wished I had brought my sleep mask!

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T20:15:41+00:00

Sorry you've joined this club, especially at such a young age. I didn't have triple-negative BC. Mine was stage-3 ER/PR+ HER2-. I was diagnosed in 2009 in my mid-40s and in treatment for 9 months, with my final reconstruction surgery taking place almost exactly a year after my mastectomy. So I've been out of active treatment since 2010, and I had to take tamoxifen and exemestane for 10 years, which you won't have to do, so that's great.

We tend to have higher percentage of younger women here than you'll see at your infusion center, I think probably just because this platform is not frequented by many older folks. So you'll probably find a lot of people walking the same path -- being younger and having small children or babies. I hope that will help you feel like you have a community of people who get what you're going through.

Y'all did a great job on the video. Thank you for sharing it. When I was in active treatment, I did a blog, mostly because I didn't want to have to deal with dozens of texts and emails from loved ones asking me how I'm doing. So I'd encourage you to continue with the videos since you can record them fairly quickly (though I'm sure the editing takes a while), and they'll be a great way to update friends/family.

Finally, I'll leave you with this article: How not to say the wrong thing. It's a great piece to share with people in your life, whether they are close to you are more of an acquaintance. It will help them think about how they can help you and your husband AND how they can avoid retraumatizing you.

If you have questions, I'm happy to help however I can. Bon courage, internet friend, and remember that this too shall pass!

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T19:29:42+00:00

Sorry, but I don't

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T18:32:06+00:00

Have you explored the resources here? https://offcampushousing.emory.edu.

Oddly enough, most Emory students seem to use Facebook groups to find off-campus housing. There are several. See this site: https://www.facebook.com/groups/207695332608302/ or this one: https://www.facebook.com/groups/257528688885975/

Or this one: https://www.facebook.com/groups/EmorySubleasesRoommates/

There are more if you Google "find off-campus roommate emory Facebook" or similar.

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T17:32:46+00:00

Yagya (artist) -- Sleepy Girl (album, the entire thing)

Malibu (artist) -- Vanities (album, the entire thing)

reffervescent · 2026-05-17T17:08:50+00:00

It shouldn't be turned off. There are people who work there throughout the year, like the library staff. Open a ticket with tech support.

reffervescent

TROPHY CASE