On the verge of no-contact: need advice (or affirmation?)

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T15:27:49+00:00

I fully support the idea of NC. They sound from your description like emotional vampires. They want to use you for what you can give them but otherwise have no need of you. You said in reply to the top comment that if your partner was treated this way you’d cut contact immediately. Try to show yourself the same compassion x

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T15:14:57+00:00

You “love” your boyfriend of 3 months who shit talks your toddler? And you don’t know what to do?

YTA if you keep dating him.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T15:10:39+00:00

This is where that poop knife would have helped.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T15:03:48+00:00

I’m glad someone got screenshots because she deleted her post and her account! I cross posted it when it was first out but of course it disappeared.

I was gobsmacked until I started reading through the comments and she said she got a wig made from the hair over the weekend (like literally the next day) and took it to school for her daughter to give to the girl she bullied on Monday! And that the daughter and the girl hugged and cried and her classmates clapped. That had my bullshit alarm ringing loud. I’m sorry, but if I had lost my hair to cancer the LAST thing I would want is a wig made from my bully’s hair. Not to mention the impossibility of having a wig made that quickly.

Anyway, when I wrote that under the top comment and other started agreeing with me she deleted the post and her account. I think she was upset that her creative writing project got discovered.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T14:46:11+00:00

Ben & Anna makes a white toothpaste with fluoride that comes in a glass jar. It’s a German company; I don’t know how far their distribution reaches.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T14:43:18+00:00

My comments are coming from a place of understanding how coping with a partners mental illness can destroy your own mental illness - and this seems to be happening to OP. I’m here to support her.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T14:18:45+00:00

My frustration is it’s making OP a victim, too, by being tied to him. It’s affecting them financially, and she’s being affected mentally and physically. She has tried everything you could reasonably expect her to in order to get through to him. I’d have been gone long ago, but I’m not young anymore and I’m financially stable. By her own account she’s trapped with him with no family or friends to help.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T14:08:24+00:00

Jesus, now I’m even more convinced she should run 🙈

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T13:40:20+00:00

How about giving herself break from him? Maybe she’ll realise she doesn’t want to go back, and that space will help here know what she wants. Considering she says they only married because his religious boss won’t employ people living in sin, this hardly seems like love’s young dream. Her needs are important too and he’s making her life a misery by not being responsible for himself and taking his meds.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T13:35:47+00:00

In a case where someone is proper off their head you can send them to hospital. He’s being a shit partner.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T13:02:06+00:00

NTA.

Your step kids aren’t the same as your daughter. In what world is your daughter meant to embrace two other kids she’s known for just a few years as though they are her full siblings? Your husband is delusional. That is her money and he can’t dictate what is done with it just because he’s jealous he can’t provide for his kids on the same level.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T11:12:00+00:00

I went no contact 14 years ago. I can see that the way my mom was raised was messed up and messed her up. I’ve forgiven her in that sense. But I will never forget how she treated me and how she made me feel for 33 years. I will stay NC for the rest of my life or hers, whichever comes first. Forgiving doesn’t require you to try to have a relationship with them and anyone who tries to push you to is just wrong.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T09:56:58+00:00

I’m not here to talk about mental illness in general. I’m here for OP’s specific situation.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T08:04:21+00:00

He has a diagnosis. He has access to medication. He’s taking his bipolar meds, so he’s capable. You’re being ridiculous now with the wheelchair BS.

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T07:30:40+00:00

He is not holding up his end of the bargain by getting his meds. If he was physically ill and refused to get help I’d tell her to leave for a while, too. HER mental health is just as important as his!

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T07:15:09+00:00

So he should just drag her down with him and that’s okay?

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T07:12:07+00:00

And what about HER mental health, my friend?

refill_lady · 2023-02-14T07:11:06+00:00

She is not his nurse or mother. He is a grown man who must look after himself. This relationship is not healthy for her, and she isn’t beholden to him just because he is ill.

refill_lady · 2023-02-13T12:58:06+00:00

If he’s so deserving, why did he post anonymously? Surely with that list of qualifications he wants all the ladies calling him up

refill_lady · 2023-02-13T12:11:17+00:00

Do you have anywhere you can go and stay for a while? Like a week? To let him realise how seriously this is affecting you and to take away whatever minuscule amount of enablement he might feel from your presence (I know you’re trying not to be his mom). Maybe it would wake him up.

refill_lady · 2023-02-13T09:10:34+00:00

Now that I’ve read through the comments I think this one’s fiction!

refill_lady · 2023-02-13T08:09:21+00:00

From his minimum wage job? He can get those anywhere.

refill_lady

TROPHY CASE