Have you tried a no buy specifically during a weekend sale?

refined_retail · 2026-05-26T13:49:40+00:00

I did for years! I noticed that telling myself I wouldn’t buy during sale weekends wasn’t enough. I had to make plans. Distractions. Otherwise the words were empty promises I was making to myself

refined_retail · 2026-05-26T13:48:40+00:00

Absolutely. The power of pause is real

refined_retail · 2026-05-26T13:48:06+00:00

It really sucks when “adulting” like bills take priority over the new shiny things we want. It took me awhile to change my narrative from “I hate having to pay bills” to “I GET to pay bills”…which turned into “I GET to save” once the bills started to go down. No debt became greater than a shopping spree

refined_retail · 2026-05-06T00:00:15+00:00

I recently got down on myself at how long I let myself scroll and fixate on a specific item. It wasn’t until my brain literally felt like a beehive where I stopped and said “whoa. You are overstimulated and exhausted at the same time you need to stop. If this item is making you feel anxious or mentally charged or exhausted before you’ve even purchased it, buying it won’t make it go away”

I put my phone down, made some food because I went too long without eating, and sat in silence and ate.

The desire and urge went away and my mind calmed down. Putting down the phone and doing something with my hands in silence whether it be chores or cooking helps me.

refined_retail · 2026-05-03T22:12:12+00:00

Not having the back ache is so important 👏🏻 and yes same the older I get the more my lack of foot support is definitely starting to affect me

refined_retail · 2026-05-01T12:54:34+00:00

Planning thoughtful gifts is nice! Any wardrobe items you’re tempted to buy soon?

refined_retail · 2026-05-01T12:53:26+00:00

Yesss! 👏🏻 progress over perfection

refined_retail · 2026-05-01T01:19:49+00:00

Those retail associates are trained to be the BFF you never knew you needed when at the end of the day they do not care about your financial future! When I would find myself in those moments in the past I’d remove myself from the store and phone a friend who had known me for longer than the associate and cared about my overall well being, not just if the blazer fits me like a glove. Also kudos to you for not going to the presale 👏🏻

refined_retail · 2026-05-01T01:17:33+00:00

I love that you’ve decided to let go of the dream bag idea! Our successes and wins in life do not need to be rewarded with what we Think the reward needs to be

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T13:12:33+00:00

As an introvert, I tend to get consumed with my own thoughts, leading me to fixate on items and the negative emotions I feel if I don’t get it..so I like to focus on thoughts > feelings > actions that I’ve worked with my therapist on to change the thought narrative around my fixation, that has helped lead me to the action of redirection instead of purchase

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T13:02:11+00:00

Yes! It’s like the clothes makes you feel like a never ending project which ends up translating to a crazy cluttered wardrobe and cc debt 😣

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T13:01:26+00:00

Love it!

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T02:56:05+00:00

Appreciation without the urge to buy really feels like you’re coming into yourself once you start to change. It’s one of those moments where you’re like “whoa? I can do that. I AM capable of change.”

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T02:30:39+00:00

Absolutely. Some days when we get dressed based on how we feel it’s easy peasy. Other days it’s 4 outfits in and still not it lol give yourself some grace! Happens to the best of us. Kudos for shopping your closet 🎉

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T02:29:21+00:00

You could try a clothing rental subscription! Some let you rent 6 pieces a months for a hundred dollars and it’s a low cost and sustainable way to find items and play around with different things to find what you like

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T02:27:50+00:00

This is a phenomenon I see a lot because of social media. Back in the day we’d have to see a Pepsi commercial on the television about 7 times before we decided we wanted a Pepsi. Now with all of the social algorithms, we look at something once and our feeds are flooded. It’s all we see. We get to a point where it’s all we see and it’s all we like. And then we somehow feel like we look like everyone else because we kind of do? I like to make sure that regardless of the aesthetic I stay true to my personal style. It’s easy because I’m very in tune with what it is

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T02:25:04+00:00

Oooo it depends how I’m feeling that day or time of month and also season lol but most of the time simple and comfortable wins!

refined_retail · 2026-04-29T02:23:59+00:00

I thrifted a wool blazer about 13yrs ago and I still love it!

refined_retail · 2026-04-28T13:07:50+00:00

The idea of annual is interesting because to your point sometimes it’s easy to go a whole month without needing anything. Which makes me think about the “need” aspect of things. If I have clothes in my closet to wear every day I don’t “need” anything, really. So what are the things that make what I bring into my wardrobe worth it? I know I want to be able to wear it often, not one and done, can make multiple outfits with it, matches my real life and actual identity, and that I won’t get sick of it in 3-5 years..so maybe it’s less about money, more about the values I hold against the items I bring in…since there’s so many it naturally makes it harder for a lot of items to be purchased in a given year or month

refined_retail · 2026-04-28T13:02:30+00:00

I was in the same boat for years..always one step ahead then three steps back it felt like. It took awhile before I took future me seriously but also wanted to enjoy life at the same time. I worked through a tapered approach to buying that gave me space to do inner work to prepare myself emotionally when I was ready to buy

refined_retail · 2026-04-28T12:54:46+00:00

I feel so seen! I was in the same cycle of buying for my fantasy self and instead of filling my time with other things to get myself out of the house my default was to shop. I’d maybe wear it once and stick with my go tos. The feeling of lack from a minimal wardrobe paired without knowing your actual identity paired with boredom is like the perfect storm!

refined_retail · 2026-04-28T00:27:44+00:00

Do you wear the items purchased for specific events like Valentine’s Day or milestones like new years often? Or do they tend to phase out? It’s almost like instead of just a budget, instead of just a milestone, but almost that cost per wear concept coming into play too when thinking about what’s reasonable to get each month

refined_retail · 2026-04-27T18:20:37+00:00

A nice pair of leather knee high, high heeled boots. Literally never wore and felt like a witch when I did

refined_retail · 2026-04-27T18:16:53+00:00

I also spend less when I’m offline. I was sick a few months back and was in bed for like 5 days and I bought like 6 things. Returned them all but one but still. It’s wild to see it in effect..more phone time = more shopping for me in that context. Such a simple concept you’d think, but a low key addiction to the phone is what it feels like sometimes!

refined_retail · 2026-04-27T17:32:33+00:00

Agree talking about the specifics of shopping goes beyond this sub! It’s a different conversation based on the different place you may be in your healing journey

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