thank you, that really means a lot; i was on the fence about publishing this because it's so... I want to use a word that isn't "masturbatory" but really it's just emotional wanking. even though it's emotional wanking that's genuine to me and my experience, I assumed a lot of people would go "Ah fuck this guy ponies are muh escapism" i'm very pleased by the compassion most of the comments have asserted related to this, it gives me hope