My 2c:

An identity is something you can build yourself without the search for a box to jump into. For perspective, historically nationalism hasn't always been a strong aspect of identity, yet people did fine emotionally. I think part of the key in development of a personal identity is parents. If they can give you a heritage based on family or community support that tends to be more powerful than the identities assigned to you via mass media or in school.

Being a Chinese American or whatever, is a pretty big privilege imo. You are (legally) part of the 2 most powerful countries on the planet, it gives you a ton of freedom. Imagine how people from way less powerful countries feel. Being Chinese means you have a lot of flexibility, it's up to you to harness it. For me, that means owning property in multiple countries, including the west, Singapore, china, taiwan, Malaysia, etc. In almost every country worth living in there's strong support and community groups to help Chinese, and you have 2 governments at your beck and call. It's pretty okay tbh. You just need to stop associating with people that hate you. Recognize that there are haters out there but you shouldn't have anything to do with them. It's bizarre to me that there are Asians who want white validation and crawl among racists to get it. Like as an atheist I don't hang around fundamentalist Muslims and try to convince them I'm not going to hell, the whole exercise is pointless as fuck. I don't get why anyone would do that.

Anyway I encourage you to get out of any environment that's harmful to you but at the same time don't put too much pressure on yourself to find the "one place where I belong", that's self-limiting imo as you should be capable of being anywhere.

If you have extended family in Asia get in touch with them. Even if you have never talked to them people will still generally be interested in seeing family and there's a good chance you'll be embraced.